Cry me an Audience
March 30th, 2009Blogger Pays Price for Insulting Lachrymose, Fiber-Starved Cult Leader
It looks like Moxie has shaken the flying monkey cage. She invented a Glenn Beck drinking game. You drink when Beck does any part of his trademarked shtick: becoming hysterical, crying, or describing his highly publicized hemorrhoids as “terminal.” His fans have launched a bizarre campaign of persecution in her blog comments. It’s truly insane. Maybe it’s a Mormon thing; if I were her, I’d check my stats for Utah IPs. People who have lived in Utah claim Mormons actively conspire to promote each other and suffocate everyone else who tries to do business there. I don’t know if that’s what’s happening to Moxie, or if it’s just the embarrassing nuts who hang out at Freak Republik.
Once again, I have to say that I am mystified by the Beck phenomenon. It is not a good thing. Beck is many things a conservative should not be. Whiny. Melodramatic. Paranoid. He seems to be very well informed, and he’s not stupid, but he projects an image not unlike that of Nathan Lane in The Birdcage. He is a silly man, and usually, it’s not intentional.
As I have grown to know him, I have come to find his TV shows hard to watch, so I haven’t seen enough of him to be a Beck expert. But he’s usually on the radio on Tuesday mornings, when my father and I drive to our weekly breakfast. Beck’s whining is incredible. I can’t believe people can stand to listen to it. How can a grown man act like that?
Man, I wish I could still hear Phil Hendrie once in a while. I miss Hendrie, I don’t mind Laura Ingraham and Hannity, and I can put up with Rush because he’s smart. And I love Cigar Dave, although he’s not primarily political. That’s about all I can take.
I see the world in terms of blessings and curses, and the state of the GOP–America’s only political hope–shrieks “curse” to me. We can’t do anything right. We brought the world Pajamas Media and The Half-Hour News Hour. Fox News is turning into a freak show. We picked a poorly vetted Vice Presidential candidate and gave her about half an hour to prepare for a series of difficult debates and interviews. We chose a Presidential candidate who is known for his bad temper, liberalism, and persistent use of the term “gook.” Nothing seems to go right for us. Now we appear to think Glenn Beck has the face we want to project to the world. Why stop there? Can’t we get Art Bell?
Maybe he’s dead.
I used to complain a lot about the right eating its own young. The Zero Sum Gang keeps new talent down, so we are stuck with a few well-known conservative media figures, no matter how incompetent or embarrassing they become. They’re a lot like the Big Three. They know they can do anything they want, so they feel free to indulge their worst faults. So, to choose an example, now we have Ann Coulter using a slang term for “vagina” in her books, to describe liberal politicians. That’s the kind of thing we promote as our public image.
I infuriated a lot of people when I started criticizing Coulter. They thought she was “tough” and had lots of “guts.” I don’t think calling Al Gore “a total fag” on camera indicates bravery per se. I think it indicates that you have some kind of problem, and that people shouldn’t be encouraging and enabling you. At a minimum, they should possess the tiny quantum of brains required to avoid choosing you as a figurehead.
People who aren’t real bright say we should reflexively support any conservative who makes it big. My response is that reflexes are for creatures like worms and frogs. Human beings think before they act. Here’s a nutty question: what if we only supported media figures who are good for the party and good for America?
No, that’s too far-out. That’s limp-wristed fairy talk. Only total liberal fags think like that. Let’s OFFEND. Because the best defense is a best offense. Or something.
We can do better than Beck and Coulter, but we never will. Maybe it’s because conservatism used to be largely about God, and now it’s about excluding God in order to have a “big tent.” The code phrase is “socially liberal but fiscally conservative.” To me, that has always sounded like, “I like smoking dope and sleeping around and having abortions, but my saving virtue is that I am also selfish.”
The GOP used to be God’s party, sort of. Now it seems like he doesn’t have a party. I suppose conservativism is still considerably closer to Christian values, but these days, that seems incidental.
I don’t think Glenn Beck is sincere. Maybe I give him too much credit, but I can’t believe he’s serious about his wacky theories and his free-flowing tears and his maudlin manipulations. His job isn’t to move America to the right. His job is to attract an audience. So he does what works. That’s my opinion. Give Rush credit; he is apparently a somewhat unsavory person, but he seems to mean what he says. He’s pretty good about maintaining his dignity on the air. Beck is more like Norma Desmond. Unfortunately, unlike Norma, he’s getting his closeup.
I hate to see conservative males personified by a weepy Chicken Little who needs to go take a handful of ‘Pirin. I have criticized Ted Nugent for his gross remark about what Hillary Clinton should do with a rifle barrel, but I’d be much happier if he and not Beck had been chosen as our new secular icon.
But I promised myself I wouldn’t cry about it.
March 30th, 2009 at 8:47 AM
With regards to the “socially liberal but fiscally conservative” thing, a few years ago, it seems that you said that it sounded like “I like killing babies but not helping the homeless.” I’ve used that a lot over the past few years…
March 30th, 2009 at 8:49 AM
Same idea, I guess. I never remember how I said things the first time around.
March 30th, 2009 at 8:49 AM
And that makes me want to break down and cry, but I can’t right now, because the Trilateral Commission is after me in a black helicopter, and my hemorrhoids are killing me.
March 30th, 2009 at 8:58 AM
One of these days I need to write a new “I am not socially liberal” post. I think I did one a while back. Well maybe not, maybe I just thought about it or sprinkled my ideas throughout my various blogs.
Hey, maybe I should have just one blog and stay with it. What can I say — most women collect shoes, but I think of those items as “floors for my feet” and can’t get excited about them. Blogs are for me what shoes are for other women. Presuming I’m a woman…
Anyway, I’ve never heard Glen Beck and apparently it’s a good thing. It sounds like he’s got the sort of delivery that would make me rip out the car stereo and throw it out the window. (Which I can do because it’s one of those removable ones, and which I need to do because it doesn’t work properly anymore anyway.)
March 30th, 2009 at 10:49 AM
Hey Steve, it’s Norma Desmond, not Nora. I do believe you’ve got your Thin Mans and your Sunset Boulevards mixed up.
You and Moxie have Glenny boy pegged. Complete phony and second rate drama queen. His show reminds me a bit of The Gong Show except the laughs are unintentional… right?
I like the buttoned-up, well mannered gentlemen & ladies of the Wall St. Journal roundtable. But that show gets 30 min. a week (if it’s even airing anymore) and probably has about 126 viewers.
March 30th, 2009 at 10:51 AM
Oops.
March 30th, 2009 at 11:36 AM
I would, on paper, probably be Beck’s ideal demographic, but can’t STAND his show. He could be 100% correct about everything, but his presentation makes it impossible for me to stomach what he’s selling.
.
You couldn’t possibly be more correct in this statement:
.
“His job isn’t to move America to the right. His job is to attract an audience. So he does what works.”
.
He is an entertainer. Ann Coulter is an entertainer. They make a living by getting viewers, and they sell a particular point of view spun in their own way.
.
Glenn Beck is a hysterical drama queen. Don’t get me wrong! I agree with a huge percentage of what I’ve seen him say, but it comes off as paranoid ravings when sold the way he sells it.
March 30th, 2009 at 11:57 AM
I don’t know if you are willing to listen to Phil Hendrie streaming on the Internet, but these sites are frequently helpful, I find:
http://www.talkstreamlive.com/
The above site will have links to Hendrie streams most often in the evening here on the Pacific coast, but that doesn’t mean it wouldn’t be available at a decent hour for people on your side of North America. Clicking on the name opens the player.
Below is a site which claims a Hendrie stream of the previous night’s show at noon Eastern time, you’ll have to scroll down a little to see the search results:
http://streamingradioguide.com/radio-show.php?show=4932
Found below, where I entered the term “Phil Hendrie” in the Show Search field in the upper right hand corner–it’s a good idea to make sure the time zone field below that is set correctly:
http://streamingradioguide.com/streaming-radio-shows.php?sformat=1&radio-format=Political%20Opinion
Both the Talk Stream Live, and the Streaming Radio Guide sites seem to work correctly in Internet Explorer, and they will work in Firefox if you have downloaded and installed the IETab plugin, and have switched to the IE engine when opening the player. Some of them work in plain old Firefox, and I am too ignorant to explain why.
Apologies for my inability to do the HTML for the links. Good luck.
March 30th, 2009 at 12:00 PM
Check this out in today’s NYT:
Fox News’s Mad, Apocalyptic, Tearful Rising Star
http://tinyurl.com/dlbs4h
March 30th, 2009 at 12:05 PM
Sorry to change the subject, but would you mind taking a moment to pray for my sister? She is having her first round of chemo today. Thanks!
March 30th, 2009 at 12:55 PM
I am SO GLAD that I pretty much dropped out of the scene of political news/talk. I was really into it for a while, but it made no difference in my life and honestly made me more hostile to others and their viewpoints. All most of these political commentators/news analysts do is stir crap up to no end.
Look at how hostile the commenters are in Moxie’s original post – what a bunch of idiots. What the heck is wrong with those people? It is a JOKE for the love of pete.
All I know about Glenn Beck is that he cried like a baby when he had a very minor surgery, while people the world over are fighting life threatening diseases like cancer. Mish comes to mind. That is all I need to know about Glenn Beck.
My time is so much better spent exercising, or raising my children, or spending quality time with my wife over a glass of wine, or shooting, or whatever. These media types are gone from my life forever.
March 30th, 2009 at 4:21 PM
FOX is simply living up to their reputation – Best Boobs In Cable News.
March 30th, 2009 at 4:38 PM
Totally off topic …but weirdly funny (and completely SFW …and church, as far as that goes) Craigslist posting:
.
http://sacramento.craigslist.org/tls/1099547956.html
.
Please do keep in mind this is posted in the Tools section (which I haunt, poor pun intended).
March 30th, 2009 at 8:09 PM
On it, Wormathan.
March 31st, 2009 at 6:24 AM
Whoever is at the top is going to have rocks thrown at them – like king of the hill. In short – let’s just tone it down a little with the criticism of those that give it a shot and try to keep it to the points being presented rather than the mode of presentation or the person carrying the message.
OR if it is so bad and there’s such a shortage of visible talent up there, jump right in for the cause. We don’t elect who’s there now as reported “Conservative leaders,” so it appears to be just a matter of muscling your way up.
Steve, why don’t you fill that leadership void? You can begin small with a city council type job, or use this blog and maybe some of the other communications techniques acquired over time (those TV productions, contacts with the media who helped with the book marketing, and such) to get the public eye. Seriously, you have some nice insights and the more that contribute to the cause, the better.
March 31st, 2009 at 7:23 AM
“Whoever is at the top is going to have rocks thrown at them”
.
That’s not really true. People who do good work don’t get valid, widespread criticism. Beck gets criticized because he’s embarrassing, not because he’s at the top. You don’t see people complaining this way about George Will or Steve Forbes or Dennis Miller. Bill O’Reilly is bigger than Beck, but he doesn’t draw the same kind of ire.
.
“let’s just tone it down a little with the criticism of those that give it a shot ”
.
That’s what got us into this mess. Following blindly, mistaking counterproductive lemming behavior for constructive “team spirit.” The criticism needs to be increased, not toned down. A party that can’t tolerate criticism can’t correct its faults, and the result is rot.
.
“it appears to be just a matter of muscling your way up. ”
.
That is only possible in an environment in which new talent is cultivated. Conservatives abort their new voices.
.
“Steve, why don’t you fill that leadership void? ”
.
Because it’s impossible, and because I no longer care. And it’s not my job to change the GOP’s dirty diapers. I have my own problems to worry about.
.
I pray for my family and myself, and I try to motivate God to bless and take care of us. The GOP is finished, and so is the USA. The damage Bush and Obama have done is sufficient to guarantee that we will have a bad economy for decades to come. We will never be able to repay what we owe.
.
As for my media contacts, I guess you don’t realize the conservative media wants nothing to do with me. They know who I am. They read my blog for years. They don’t want me. They want lapdogs and empty-headed showgirls.
March 31st, 2009 at 12:44 PM
Captain of a sinking ship! What an honor. 🙂
March 31st, 2009 at 2:26 PM
Thanks for the back-up, Steve, Sally et al!
For a few days, the comments on my blog sounded like the right’s answer to the Democratic Underground. If this is how a Beckian behaves, it only confirmed that I want no part of their cult.
Sadly, I agree with you, the GOP is dead.
March 31st, 2009 at 6:27 PM
Wormathan…we’re praying.
April 1st, 2009 at 7:54 AM
I tried to watch him the other day.
His OUTRAGE!!! meter goes up to 12 and he keeps it pegged at about 11.8. I saw the show where he was badgering the CT attorney general about “What law did they break Sir?!?!”
I totally agreed with his point, but the OUTRAGE!!11! was ridiculous.
Besides being annoying, that problem with that much OUTRAGE!1!!1!1 is that he couldn’t any more OUTRAGED!!!11!! if Obama were to perform an abortion sponsored by the letter “A” on Sesame Street.