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Primed for Disappointment

December 21st, 2017

Free 2-Day Shipping Takes a Week

Am I the only one who has noticed that Amazon Prime is a sham?

When I first signed up, I wanted free shipping. That was the thing. I knew I would save more than the cost of Prime. But I also liked the 2-day time frame. Amazon promised they would ship stuff to me for nothing, in 2 days. Obviously, there are exceptions. They’re not going to ship you a bulldozer in 2 days, and if you order at 9 p.m. on a Monday, you’re going to wait till Thursday. But generally, 2 days.

Now that I think about it, Bezos has a lot of nerve, putting things he can’t ship quickly on the Prime list. It’s dishonest. If you can’t ship a heavy item in 2 days, it’s not Prime, now, is it?

Anyway, at first things were great. I could order an Arduino board on a Friday and receive it on Sunday. I received things on Saturdays, too. The 2-day promise was no joke.

Over the last few months, I’ve seen a big change. Order on a Monday, receive on…Friday. Extra charges for weekend delivery, too.

Yesterday I ordered 2 Prime items. That was Wednesday. Now Amazon says they will arrive in a week. Is Amazon on Mars time? Maybe on Mars, 2 days equal 1 earth week.

I got no explanation. I didn’t get an email containing an apology. Just a notification on Amazon’s site, telling me I had to wait a week.

It’s interesting. It’s not surprising. To me, it’s consistent with the way evil works.

I think the Internet is basically evil. I use it, but I think the devil is using it to do us great harm. It has spread pornography to every corner of the world. It has helped hostility increase to levels no one could have predicted 30 years ago. It’s going to destroy cash, so the government will be able to control us by freezing and confiscating our money and by using our purchases to surveil us. It’s going to destroy free will by making us unable to do anything without being observed.

The Internet is a bad thing, and one of its evils is the destruction of retail businesses. Malls are closing because no one wants to get in the car any more. We are headed toward a state in which a few big companies hold all the inventory, and you won’t be able to get the things you need unless you deal with them electronically, leaving a trail of bread crumbs for Uncle Sam, who is stupid, cruel, and unfair.

About half of Americans have Amazon Prime now. That’s an astounding statistic. It’s very powerful. And 2-day shipping was a big part of the appeal. Now that we’re hooked, the shipping guarantee is dissolving. That’s completely typical of the way evil works. No drug dealer charges you for your first line of coke. He lets you develop a taste for it, and then you pay whatever he asks.

As we become more dependent on Amazon and other online companies, they will lose their motivation to provide good service. That’s what’s happening with Prime. They have half of America. They know you won’t quit now. Maybe technological advances will make Prime a real 2-day service, and maybe Amazon will tell us to shut up and accept delays. Either way, Amazon comes out on top.

Am I saying we should boycott Internet vendors? No. They already won. There is nothing we can do. Depriving yourself won’t fix the situation.

It doesn’t matter that much to me. I went without house shoes and a housecoat for most of my life. I can wait 6 more days. But I find it interesting, and I wonder why no one seems to be talking about it.

Amazon says it will refund your membership for a month if they deliver something late. At least that’s the Internet scuttlebutt. Something to look into, if your Christmas socks haven’t arrived yet.

6 Responses to “Primed for Disappointment”

  1. Stephen Says:

    I just looked at a heater on Amazon UK for my brother. It was listed as ‘Prime’ but delivery was 28-30th December. At first, all Prime listings here were stocked by Amazon themselves & guaranteed delivered within one day. Now, you have stuff being sold by third-party companies who take several days to deliver. So the situation here is much the same as the USA. Maybe if they get enough complaint they’ll stop deceiving us…

  2. Steve H. Says:

    How cold does it get over there?

  3. John Bowen Says:

    I just got a free month and a refund when Amazon’s delivery service marked a package as delivered that wasn’t. Customer service was downright obsequious.

    They still haven’t found the package, so I guess I’ll have to reorder. I can live with that.

  4. JPatterson Says:

    Just a thought. I think Prime only applies to what service is used to deliver the item, i.e. FedEx 2-day, etc. I’m not sure they’re saying that it’s guaranteed to be on your doorstep 2 days after you click the button. Especially true if it’s a 3rd party vendor using Amazon as a storefront. The prep and handling of the item prior to shipping varies.

    I may have that totally wrong, though.

  5. Steve H. Says:

    The two items I’m waiting a week for are in stock,fulfilled by Amazon, and I’m supposedly getting 2-day shipping.

  6. Stephen Says:

    Steve – In central Scotland the coldest it gets in winter is about -15°C (5°F) and that’s rare. An average winter’s day is anywhere from 5 to -5°C (41- 23°F).