I have a mild head cold which is killing my appetite. At times like this, I only want ice cream and spicy food. I think the answer is doro wat, or Ethiopian chicken stew.

I put a recipe for this in my cookbook. I think I’ll get the book out and get to work. I plan to use some peppers from my yard. Either habanero golds or Trinidad scorpions. The trick to doing this right is to try to kill yourself.

Sometimes there are expensive ways to solve a simple problem, and you waste money on them, and then you find out about a much better way that costs almost nothing.

Today I have an example.

When I got my Gibson Blueshawk guitar, I did not realize that guitar makers were incompetent. The electric guitar has been around for something like 70 years, but most electric guitars are still designed so they fall off the strap unexpectedly. The manufacturers don’t warn you. If you’re used to acoustic guitars, you won’t see it coming until your precious instrument falls and gets badly damaged. This happened to me, and it’s how I learned that guitar makers are incompetent.

Over the next five minutes, I (or any intelligent person) could come up with ten good strap or strap-button designs that would solve the problem, but most manufacturers have not bothered to try.

I asked “experts” (mostly Guitar Center salespeople) what to do, and they recommended silly solutions like Dunlop Straplok buttons. I bought two sets of these. They are very stupid inventions. You have to mount a special adaptor to each end of your strap, permanently. Once the adaptor is there, you can’t adjust the strap without tools. You have to open up the holes the strap-button screws go into. And the Straploks are designed so you will probably fail to engage them correctly the first time. This happened to me, resulting in a second guitar drop and more damage.

Do not buy these things. They are worthless, and you will reduce the collectibility of your guitar by drilling into it.

A couple of weeks back, I was researching the issue, and I found an Internet forum thread that contained the most intelligent solution to the problem. You won’t believe it.

Buy a six-pack of Grolsch beer, or, better yet, buy a GOOD beer that comes in the same type of flip-top bottle. Remove the gaskets from the bottle tops. Put your strap on your guitar. Stretch two gaskets and slip them over the strap buttons, outside the strap. You’re all set. Unless you jump around like a monkey, your guitar will never fall off the strap again. No drilling. No tools. And you get beer.

The gaskets obstruct the strap holes. There is no way the strap holes can open wide enough to let the gaskets through, and the gaskets will not come off unless they are subjected to stretching. The pulling of the strap does not stretch the gaskets, so it doesn’t pull them off the buttons. It’s brilliant. And the gaskets actually look better than those stupid Straplok monstrosities.

I bought a bag of 100 gaskets. I’m set for life. You can get them at any online homebrew supply joint. I think I paid ten bucks.

At least I can be glad I dropped my second-cheapest instrument.

There is an interesting story in the news. A Florida preacher, Terry Jones, wants to burn some Korans. And General Petraeus is trying to convince him not to do it, because it will get our troops in trouble with Muslims.

This is a confusing issue, and I’ve been thinking about it.

Premises:

1. The Koran is evil. It’s more than an idolatrous book; it’s an idol. Muslims believe it is God himself, in book form. God hates the Koran.

2. In Christianity, the physical destruction of idols is righteous. The Old Testament makes that clear. One of the repeated offenses the kings of Israel and Judah committed was a sin of omission. They refrained from destroying idols and sites of idol worship (“high places”). It is obvious that God hates idols and tools of idol worship, and that he wants them destroyed.

3. Our troops are dying to protect our First Amendment rights, including freedom of religion and freedom of expression. This includes the burning of Korans, or, for that matter, Bibles.

4. The kind of people who will react violently to the burning of Korans already hate us as much as they possibly can, and they are already doing just about everything they can to harm us.

5. Offending non-Christians is wrong, unless you have a good reason.

It’s hard to deny these premises. So what are the conclusions? Here is what I have so far.

1. General Petraeus is completely out of line, if he is actively trying to discourage the Koran-burning. He has no business telling any American what to say or believe. It doesn’t matter whether he’s right. What matters is that he is fighting the fundamental impetus behind the First Amendment. The whole purpose of the First Amendment is to prevent government agents (including the military) from infringing on our rights. As a private citizen, he can say anything he likes, but he is not speaking as a private citizen.

2. Burning the Korans publicly is excessively provocative. Disposing of Korans is a good thing, but doing it for media consumption goes beyond what is necessary. If you find a box of Korans in your attic, by all means, destroy them. And don’t lie about it or try to cover it up. But don’t make a Youtube video of yourself burning the Korans. Don’t publicize what you have done. Jones could make his point simply by stating publicly that the Koran is evil and that destroying copies of it is a good thing. It’s true that he would not be as effective, since he would not get as much attention, but what he is doing seems to rise to the level of taunting, and that is not a Christian practice.

3. Burning the Korans will not make things any worse than they are now, from the standpoint of violence. Our enemies are already doing everything they can to hurt us. But it is likely to make it harder for evangelists to reach Muslims, so it’s probably a bad thing. It would be wrong to consider our troops, since their function is to protect our right to express ourselves freely, and they have volunteered to take the risks. Refraining from expression in order to appease violent enemies who want to restrict our rights is insane, and it gives them victory without requiring them to defeat us militarily. But as a Christian, you should not needlessly offend people you need to reach for God. The prospect of violence is the wrong reason for choosing not to burn a Koran. We are warriors first and foremost, and we should never run from an important battle, and we should not give up essential rights in order to protect our troops. But the ultimate purpose of our fight is to grow the kingdom of God, and burning Korans will probably be counterproductive.

4. Petraeus or Hillary Clinton should come out with a statement, reminding Muslims that Terry Jones is not a representative of the American people or our government. The distinction will be lost on many Muslims, just as they ignore the distinction between military people and innocent civilians (including Muslims) working in skyscrapers, but it still needs to be noted publicly, by an agent of the government.

If anything happens to Terry Jones, it will only serve to prove Islamist extremists are savages, and that we are right to hunt them down and kill them. I admire his courage. But if I were in his shoes, I would not burn the Korans in public. I would dump any Korans I found in the trash, but I would not go out looking for Korans (or worse, buy them, providing financial support to the publishers) just so I could destroy them in front of cameras.

I think this makes sense. I wonder how the world got so crazy.

Here it is:

I do have a prayer request for my older brother. He has a very bad heart and diabetes. Last week he had surgery to remove a lump in his abdomen. It was Merkle cell carcinoma, (apparently a type of melanoma) we hope not very advanced. Today he was admitted to the hospital with infection from that surgery. They cleaned and packed the wound and have him on IV antibiotics. Pray for his wife and for his health.

Hi everyone,
Last night and this morning mom has experienced some bleeding. I called her oncologist and we are scheduled for Tuesday at 1:15. If you can please pray that this is just a fluke and doesn’t mean that the cancer is spreading. Please ask the Lord to cleanse this cancer from her body. One thing that I didn’t know but found out at her last appointment was that this was stage 4 cancer. It was only in two lymph nodes but that did make it stage 4. Please share this request with as many people who will pray for her as you can. The babies and I love and need her and we just can’t make it without her.
God Bless,
Heather Page

Link: Penelope Updates

If, like me, you were confused by the cheesy corduroy couches and vinyl-covered coffee table Obama put in the Oval Office, you may have a better understanding once you view this video Robert Gibbs made.

Tonight I heard Michael Savage (a guilty pleasure) foaming at the mouth over the new Oval Office furniture. Then I took a look at some photos. He’s right! Obama just put two cheap corduroy sofas in the Oval Office! You really have to see it to believe it. And the coffee table looks like it came from Sam’s Club. I am not exaggerating. It’s repulsive.

It’s Motel 6! All it needs is Magic Fingers!

Where did we find this guy? Honestly, Billy Carter had more class.

Thought I should remind everyone that Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur are on the way: September 8 and September 18, respectively. Rosh Hashanah is the Jewish new year (one of them, anyway), and Yom Kippur is the day of atonement.

The “Days of Teshuvah” started on August 11. This is a time when Jews reflect on their sins and turn from them. They believe God determines their fate (“inscribing” it) on Rosh Hashanah, and he “seals” it on Yom Kippur. Then they’re stuck with it for the coming year. The High Holy Days or “Days of Awe” run from Rosh Hashanah to Yom Kippur.

It’s a good time to repent and resolve to do better. Christians aren’t subject to the entire Jewish law, but when is a change of heart a bad thing? And it serves to show respect and solidarity. Many mainstream churches are contemptuous of Israel and the Jews. It can’t hurt to set yourself apart from them.

I have been invited to visit my friends at the Messianic synagogue for their High Holy Days stuff. I am trying to get the other Armorbearers to go.

I got a number of comments about guitar amps. Right now, I’m trying out a Fender Super Champ XD. This is a 5-watt tube amp with some newfangled effects built in. It plays well at low volumes, and the effects are not bad. It’s a keeper. It’s loud enough to gig with, and even if the effects are not the best available, they’re very good, and they serve as a cheap and convenient introduction to the world of effects. And if you combine this thing with a channel-switching pedal and a distortion pedal, you can probably leave your other pedals at home.

It also simulates the sounds of certain classic amps. That’s a great feature.

I should have gotten this thing on day one, but I didn’t know what I was doing. The Vox is very nice, however, and so is the Bugera 5V I got.

I am considering getting one or two more Japanese Les Pauls. I am learning that no matter how versatile a guitar is, it’s a pain to use the same instrument for everything. It’s easier to have different guitars for different sounds, and there are enough Japanese bargains out there to make this an economically feasible idea. I would like to get one with single-coil pickups, and I’d like to put Bigsbys on all of them.

I may as well confess: I bought a “History” brand Les Paul. This is a magnificent Fujigen instrument with a bookmatched top. I got an insane price. Some crazy person bought it in 2005 and kept it in a closet in Japan and didn’t even take the film off the pickups or pot and switch covers. It’s not “like new.” It’s “NEW.”

Japanese guitar prices are going up, so this is the year to buy. Although the upcoming Obama Depression may change that.

I ought to go play some high-end Gibsons. As it stands, I think the Japanese guitars are probably better. Not “nearly as good” or “acceptable,” but better. The workmanship is perfect, they use excellent materials, and Gibson taught them how to do everything, so there are no trade secrets or patent issues to keep the Japanese in second place. I’ve shown my two Japanese instruments to good guitarists, and one of these guys wanted to buy one of them, so my impressions seem to be right. But I haven’t touched a real Gibson, other than my Blueshawk, in a long time, so I may be wrong.

I seriously doubt it. A Les Paul is just a board and a neck. If the action, intonation, and pickups are good, what could be bad?

It’s sad that American quality control is so bad.

I’ve been checking out Japanese Yahoo auctions. The problem with this is that you have to find a deal so good you don’t mind adding around $225 to the price, for service fees and shipping. The deals do exist, though.

I found a truly astounding instrument on one site. It’s a History brand clone of the Gibson ES295. That’s a hollow gold top guitar with P90s and a Bigsby. Thank God, someone bought this guitar the day I decided to inquire, because otherwise, I would have had a major temptation issue.

I don’t feel bad about buying nice used guitars, because it’s like buying stock. The money doesn’t vanish. You can get it back, often with a decent profit. New guitars aren’t too bad, if they’re well-known brands. Accessories and amps, you usually get hammered on. But not always. Sometimes they get discontinued, and then everybody goes nuts trying to buy old ones.

I figure it will be a waste of time trying to get a good deal on a Japanese instrument a year from now. Party while you can.

I got a nice guitar breakthrough yesterday. I finally found time to start working on my own music.

And what do I mean by “my music”? Of course, I am referring to Stevie Ray Vaughan’s “Honey Bee.”

I realize I did not write this song. But the transcription I have poops out after the intro, moving into a long section where all you do is whack a couple of strings once in a while, as the vocalist sings. I did not buy a pile of guitars and 4 amps so I could be a vocalist. I want to PLAY. So I’m filling in the missing stuff.

It looks like the cheap Crate amp I got years ago will be useful. It was moldering next to an old PC for years. It’s solid state, and it’s not what you would call a prize, but it’s perfect for working on tablature. I park it by the couch, and I sit there with a guitar, playing at low volume while I work. You don’t need perfect tone to do this, and a cheap solid state amp is a big convenience. I don’t have to use pedals. I just flip the “on” switch and go.

I have to wonder if I should look at a decent solid state amp. I love my tube amps, but I can’t say I’ve given solid state a fair shake. The Crate is bottom-end junk. It’s not a good sample.

Here’s something funny: if you listen to tube amp samples while shopping, you’re almost always listening to digital recordings played through solid state electronics. Think about it. Imagine you go to a manufacturer’s website, and you listen to an MP3 sample. The sample is digital, and you’re listening through your PC’s solid state audio system made with super-cheap Chinese components. How can the sample sound good, if solid state kills tone?

There are two things I like about solid state amps. First, they last forever, with no maintenance, no matter what you do to them. Second, you don’t have to turn them up to get the best sound. They’re also cheap; so I guess that’s three things.

I have two tube amps, and they attenuate down to 1/4 and 1/10 of a watt, and I still can’t turn them up much, because the sound would crack the plaster in the walls. With solid state amps, the sound seems pretty much the same all over the volume dial.

A long time ago, I went to Guitar Center, and some salesman played a cheap Fender solid state amp (the word “Bronco” sticks in my mind), and he insisted the obsession with tubes was stupid. I have to admit, the amp sounded great. But he was playing very distorted stuff, and he was all excited about “crunch.” The amp had all sorts of “crunch,” but I don’t recall whether it had warmth and presence, which are the tube-amp qualities I like.

Even if tubes are important, how much can they matter in the output stage? I have a solid state stereo which reproduces tube sounds (and the human voice and every other sound) just fine. Seems to me that a tube preamp stage ought to dominate a solid state power stage. Maybe I’m wrong. There are amps out there that have tube preamps and solid state output transistors, though. Or maybe it’s the other way around. Maybe the stuff related to headroom and clipping comes mostly from the power stage.

Whatever the situation is at the moment, if solid state amps don’t sound as good as tubes right now, they definitely will in a few years. Technology improves constantly, and there is no physical reason why we can’t make perfect solid state amps. I’ve read dubious arguments about digital and solid state products creating “square” or “jagged” sound waves or “odd harmonics.” The proof is in the sound, though, and as far as I can tell, my solid state stereo has no problem reproducing tube sounds so well they are indistinguishable from what you would hear sitting next to a guitar amp.

You can Google around and find listening tests and articles by amp designers suggesting that the tube craze is mostly hype, and that tubes don’t really sound better in blind tests, so I think I should check out some solid-state amps once I really get it together. Maybe they won’t do the job, but maybe they will, and a solid state or hybrid amp would save me a lot of aggravation. Maybe I should look at a Fender Super Champ XD.

I’m pretty excited about writing my own variations and tunes, because it will help me get to know the instrument and amps and effects from the inside out, and it will lead to the development of a signature sound (for better or worse).

This is going to work out. Pretty cool. Allow me to reference Psalm 37:4 yet again.

Ken Mehlman says he’s gay. I am floored. This is nearly as shocking as the Liberace thing.