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Archive for the ‘Main’ Category

Again, I Prove no One in Miami Can do Anything Right

Tuesday, September 30th, 2008

I See a Book in This

I had to drive out to various stores to try to save my lime tree, and of course, I got virtually no useful input and no helpful products. But while I was out there, I had Rush Limbaugh on the radio, and I heard some amusing things.

It looks like Rush has finally discovered blogs. My guess? Laziness has struck. The MSM steals from blogs all the time and fails to give credit. At least Rush tried. He mentioned Glenn Reynolds and referred to him as the owner of a blog called…Little Green Footballs! That gave me a laugh. It’s not that far from the truth, given PJM’s incestuous contortions. Then he mentioned Wizbang and managed to get the name of the proprietor right.

He’ll never mention me, no matter what I write. Not if he has any idea that I lampooned him at Huffington’s Toast and in one of my books. The man is not known for his ability to laugh at himself. Oh, well.

Interesting item: World Vision is having an international day of prayer tomorrow. I read that, and I figured it must be part of a bigger effort involving other organizations, but it’s not. It’s weird. There are a bunch of different International Days of Prayer. Anyway, thought you might want to know.

Leah Friedman is recovering from surgery, and apparently she’ll be in pain for about a month. Mish Weiss is starting her bone marrow transplant procedures. If you want to warm up for the day of prayer, that information may be helpful.

Obama Kisses the Canvas

Friday, September 26th, 2008

Are Voters Smart Enough to Notice?

Not only did McCain win tonight’s debate; he managed to convince me he could actually be a good President. I hate to say it, because he irritated me with his disloyalty in the past, and McCain-Feingold was just plain stupid. But he was magnificent.

He turned Obama’s strategy against him. Obama knew McCain was a hothead, so he planned to make him angry. He couldn’t do it, but McCain made him furious. In nearly every answer, McCain managed to toss Obama a grenade, and they all blew up. I loved the shots of Obama, fuming and sweating as McCain talked. He actually turned grey when McCain made him mad, so it was obvious when McCain got his goat.

The TV heads are saying there was no embarrassing soundbite for Obama; they apparently didn’t hear him squeal, “I, too, have a bracelet!” And as for McCain zingers, who will ever forget, “I don’t even have a seal, yet”?

Obama tried to make eye contact with McCain in order to annoy him, but McCain was all business, looking down at his podium and smiling as he wrote notes. That’s self-discipline. Something ex-military men have and community organizers don’t. After a while, Obama looked silly, continuing to work the tactic long after it was obviously that it wasn’t succeeding.

Here’s the thing no one seems to be saying: tonight a guy who graduated very close to the bottom of his class at the Naval Academy out-talked a Harvard lawyer. As an attorney, I can tell you, Obama was horrible. Debating is persuasive speech; it’s what lawyers do. Obama should be a champ. But McCain batted him around like a shuttlecock. McCain made Obama fight McCain’s fight.

I have to say, McCain is very sharp for his age. He was quicker and more focused than Obama.

I don’t know if the public will think McCain won. Swing voters are truly stupid. They might vote for Obama because they liked his tie. But I think he did great.

“I, Too, Have a Bracelet”

Friday, September 26th, 2008

“Teleprompter! HELLLLP!”

I did not realize what a truly foolish and arrogant person Obama was until tonight. McCain is pushing his buttons effortlessly, and Obama is clearly infuriated, because it has probably been five years since anyone had the sand to contradict The One to his face.

MAN, this is good. I hate debates, but I’m glad I watched this one.


This is weird. Obama turns grey when he gets mad. Which is like every two minutes.

Another money quote: “I don’t even have a seal yet.”

Go home, Barack. You are not helping yourself. I can’t believe you insisted on having this debate tonight.

BREAKING NEWS: McCain Finds Debate Pinch-Hitter

Friday, September 26th, 2008

Go Look

Come on, pretend I fooled you. It’s worth it.

Alcee Who?

Thursday, September 25th, 2008

Palin Alleged to Shoot Joose as Well as Moose

People are asking about Alcee Hastings, the Florida Congressman who says Sarah Palin will treat Jews and blacks like the moose she shoots and butchers. Never mind the increasing anti-Semitism of the left. Never mind the fervent support conservative Christians give the Jews and Israel. Never mind the praise Jewish leaders have heaped on Palin.

Hastings is an impeached federal judge. It’s very tough for a federal judge to get in trouble of any kind, but Hastings managed to offend Congress so badly they pulled his ticket. He was impeached for bribery, but he was acquitted in his criminal trial. He turned around and ran for office and won. He’s like the Al Sharpton of judges.

Clinton Aide/Obama Advisor at Root of Financial Crisis

Tuesday, September 23rd, 2008

Wake up, Mainstream Media

How come we hear so little about the fact that Democrats are primarily responsible for the financial crisis which is weakening our country? Ignorant voters tend to respond to economic problems by swinging left. They need to know that swinging left is the main cause of this debacle.

Funny, because over the past 8 years, those who tried to fix Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac — the trigger for today’s widespread global financial meltdown — were stymied repeatedly by congressional Democrats.

More here.

Socialism is a dangerous remedy. It exacerbates the problems it purports to cure. So you get more socialism. Then more problems. Eventually, your economy tanks. By then, you may have lost so much freedom, it’s impossible to fix things by restoring capitalism.

Franklin Raines…Franklin Raines…Franklin Raines. That should be our mantra until election day.

Is it Just Me, Or…

Tuesday, September 23rd, 2008

…Are These Guys Sharing a Bottle of L’Oreal?


Loser & Associates

Monday, September 22nd, 2008

Saga of a Failed Jedi Mind Trick

I’ll tell you something crazy. There are blogs I don’t read, just because their names turn me off. I can’t explain it. It’s no reflection on the blogs. It’s just one of my quirks.

One example: The Jawa Report. When I see that name, a little voice from down in my brainstem says, “STAR WARS NERDS: AVOID.” Somewhere in the deep recesses of my mind, I picture an adult male who owns an Ewok suit.

But today I went to The Jawa Report anyway, because Sondra linked to it. There’s a pretty wild piece of Citizen Journalism there. If the piece is correct, some goof from a famous PR firm–Winner & Associates–has been posting illegal videos to harm Sarah Palin, and he wasn’t even smart enough to use a fake email address. And Kos and DU helped.

This ranks right up there with the Dan Rather phony memo thing, but it’s more complex. Get a fresh mug of coffee and turn off your phone’s ringer before you read it.

What is it with Sarah Palin? Why do people hate her so much? I shudder to say this, but PDS makes BDS seem insignificant. It’s like I keep saying: Obama is running against Palin, not McCain. She scares the hell out of the opposition.

It’s just an ELECTION, people. She’s not Darth Palin, to refer to Star Wars yet again. She’s not orbiting the earth in a Death Snow Machine, preparing to shoot abortion providers from space with her moose rifle. Get a grip, liberals. If Joe Biden disturbed me as much as Sarah Palin disturbs you, I’d be shopping for a suicide belt. I admit, I’ve entertained the thought of suicide while listening to him speak, but that’s different.

She’s not even running for President. Let’s be real, here. If McCain wins, she’ll spend the next eight years flying to funerals and hiding from terrorists in various undisclosed locations. You act like she was going to drive around the country, holding liberals down and forcing them to eat meat and carry their children to term. Why are you so edgy? Is there a marijuana shortage I haven’t heard about?

I’m feeling dehumanized, here. As a conservative, I mean. How about the rest of you? Anyone feel demonized? Look how they hate us. This is how the left treats people about ten years before they take over and the firing squads assemble. What’s next? Kristallnacht II, sponsored by Apple and Birkenstock? Thank God I live in Florida and I still have time to buy a rural compound. I better get started, sewing yellow crosses on all my T-shirts.

I congratulate…the Jawa person (?)…on this wonderful blog post. This is the kind of thing that nearly justifies the existence of the Blogosphere.

Dolphins Win, Apocalypse Draws Nigh

Sunday, September 21st, 2008

My Eyes Deceive Me

I’m having a nice Sabbath. Took a few hours out to go to Man Camp and watch the Dolphins…WIN? Very confusing. Is that supposed to happen? Must be a great day for them. They probably felt like they would never win again.

I couldn’t resist taking a few minutes to see if my plan to remove the last concrete slug from the yard had worked. I hooked up the chain and took off. Problem: the epoxy had not set up. I must have mixed it badly. The slug moved about three inches before the rebar popped out. One leg popped out right away, but the second one held out longer, and the crook in the rebar kept the chain attached.

The rebar was asymmetrical after it came out; one leg was longer than the other. I ground a few inches off the long end, hit the other end with a MAPP torch to get the bulk of the epoxy residue off, cleaned up the holes with the hammer drill, vacuumed out the debris, mixed more epoxy, put it in the holes, and re-inserted the rebar.

Should be ready to yank tomorrow. This method works. You just have to do it right. I also took a mattock and dug out some dirt on the chain side of the slug. That will help it come out.

I shouldn’t have taken time to fool with this on the Sabbath. Temptation overcame me. But I’m back.

One fun thing about Man Camp is that Pat, who lives next door to Val, always has a new toy to look at. Two weeks ago, it was a camper and a pickup. This week, it was a scooter. Someone sold him a reasonably nice one for $200. I took it for a spin. When the speedometer hit 65, I got a little nervous. Then I realized it was 65 kilometers per hour.

I’m not a green freak, but I think scooters are a good idea for people who live close to the places where they run errands.

Scooters are strange. You don’t do anything with your feet, so all your motorcycle instincts get screwed up. I told Pat to get himself to MSF class (Motorcycle Safety Foundation). You may think you don’t need training to ride a scooter safely, but that’s not true. It’s a small motorcycle. The same problems apply, and you can’t learn how to avoid them from experience. Some of the safety stuff is not intuitive. Someone has to teach you.

I told Pat he needed a helmet and gloves. Val thought I was nuts. Riding a bike without a helmet is pretty safe, because bikes are much more maneuverable, and you don’t ride in traffic, and you don’t go as fast. But you need one on a scooter. As for gloves, what do you do when you fall off a motorcycle? You put your hands down. At anything over five miles per hour, that means kiss your palms goodbye.

I think a scooter would be a great thing to have, for grocery missions and so on. But I don’t have Pat’s knack for finding cheap used stuff. Oh well.

Sandra Bernhard Respects Black Men

Friday, September 19th, 2008

That’s Why she Expects Them to Rape on Command

Yesterday, I asked a fellow blogger if she could think of any more rotten things the left could do to Sarah Palin. I was being sarcastic. My point was that leftists had been so creative and so cruel, it was hard to think of anything new for them to do.

Wow, was I wrong.

They accused her of pretending her daughter’s baby was hers. They said she should have stayed home having babies, instead of governing a state. They compared her to the political-machine stooge (close kin to a community organizer) who had Jesus scourged and delivered Him up for crucifixion. Then they hacked into her email account, and leftist blogs put the emails on display, claiming they were “legitimate news.”

Now we learn that Sanda Bernhard is publicly joking about Governor Palin being gang-raped by Bernhard’s “big black brothers.” And people are paying to hear this crap. Not many; it looks like she’s appearing in one of those clubs that used to be a Pack-n-Ship or a Mrs. Field’s, but still.

What do you say about a “joke” like this? It makes me think of all the over-the-top jokes I’ve made, which makes me want to crawl into a hole. I hope I am not as culpable as Ms. Bernhard.

What is the point of making a joke like this? What merit is there in the joke, that justifies putting that horrible image in our minds, and in the minds of Governor Palin’s kids? What will we joke about next? Raping children? Auschwitz?

What exactly did Sarah Palin do, to deserve the treatment she has received from the left? She accepted an invitation to run for public office. That’s her crime. She didn’t shoot up a day care center. She didn’t bomb the World Trade Center. She didn’t–let me pull an example out of a hat–bomb the Pentagon, publicly confess it, and state that she wished she had done more. She didn’t steal documents from the National Archives. She didn’t commit perjury and get disbarred. She didn’t con the government out of hundreds of thousands of dollars for a bogus land deal in Arkansas. She didn’t encourage Los Angeles residents to riot, shouting “No justice, no peace!” She didn’t hit a security officer on her way into the Capitol. She wasn’t involved in the first and only real “Troopergate.” She didn’t hide $90,000 in bribe money in her freezer. She didn’t steal furniture from the White House, or vandalize it before a new administration moved in. She just answered the call, when her party and her country needed her.

It’s a wonder anyone is willing to run for office as a Republican. Look at the treatment our candidates and politicians get. If the kooks don’t get you, unethical prosecutors will. And the press will turn a blind eye, and sometimes, they’ll aid in the persecution.

What an education her kids are getting. Liberals present themselves as warm and loving people who care about all the trees and bunnies, and who protect the downtrodden from mean old Republicans, who want to return to the feudal system. But there is nothing warm and loving about the way liberals are treating Sarah Palin. It’s no exaggeration to say they display more hatred for her than they do for Osama bin Laden.

Governor Palin’s treatment is an ominous reminder of the way the hard left wishes to treat those who disagree with it. It reminds us that killing fields and gulags can happen here, too. If Bill Ayers were in charge, we would have had those things forty years ago. And it looks like Sandra Bernhard would approve.

What ever happened to perspective? When did Americans decide that the need to win an election justified this kind of vile behavior?

Another question: what does Sandra Bernhard think of black men? It seems pretty obvious. She thinks they gang-rape people for trivial reasons. I’m trying to think of a more depraved example of racism, but I’m drawing a blank. This is a person who feels solidarity with blacks? She cares about them and respects them and empathizes with them, but she thinks she can count on them to rape a visiting governor. Black people should rejoice, having a friend who thinks so highly of them. I wonder what the Obamas thought of her remarks.

I already hoped Sarah Palin would win, because I support her politically. But now I hope she wins because her enemies are so vicious. I don’t want to see them rewarded.

I wonder if we can make it to Monday without a new story about someone sliming or threatening or mistreating Sarah Palin. I hope so, but I wouldn’t bet my lunch money on it.

Liberal Myth 9,327: Dan Quayle Misspelled Potato

Wednesday, September 17th, 2008

Knock it Off

Can we all stop repeating the lie about Dan Quayle? He’s not the one who came up with “potatoe.”

Quayle was helping a teacher. She had cards with words written on them. She was the person who filled out the cards. Quayle just held them up. THE TEACHER WROTE “POTATOE” ON THE CARD. Quayle’s only sin was that he failed to correct her on national TV.

Let this be a lesson to you. This is what happens when you miss an opportunity to correct a liberal.

And you KNOW that teacher was liberal. They all are. It’s the law.

Know When to Shut Your Pi Hole

Wednesday, September 17th, 2008

Set Phasers on “Wedgie”

I just half-read a recent article, which points out that people who are really good at math tend to be good at ballpark estimates.

No duh.

This is not news. Everyone who goes past second-semester physics knows this. How many piano tuners are there in Chicago (here’s a hint: divide the number of community organizers by ten)?

Here are a couple of things people who are ignorant about math and science don’t realize. First, once you get past your first year of college, all hard science is math. Second, no real scientist cares much about exact figures until it’s time for a real-life application. Scientists estimate all the time.

I say this with some irritation, because I’m a former scientist, and I’m very used to making ballpark estimates, and I get “corrected” a lot by people who don’t know anything about using numbers. For example, when making a practical calculation in real life, I might say, “Let’s say the tread length of a tire is three times the diameter.” And some…helpful person…will pipe up and say, “Actually, it’s more like 3.1428!” Like I have never heard of pi.

I’ve forgotten most of what I know about science and math, but I’m not stupid. I can calculate sines and cosines with a pencil, to any number of decimal places you want. I know what pi is. I know what radians are. I know what a unit circle is. You’re not helping me when you tack 0.1428 onto 3 for me. It’s like offering training wheels to a professional bicycle racer. Okay, a fat retired professional bicycle racer. You get the idea.

In the real world of science, nobody is impressed when you know the value of something to ten decimal places. That’s grunt information. Let the entry-level engineers worry about that; it’s what calculators and computers are for. The highest and best use of the human brain, with its capacity for all sorts of abstract thought, is not calculating silly figures any six-year-old with a ten-dollar calculator can generate. The hard work is in understanding complicated concepts and manipulating them in your mind. Variables are for thinkers. Arabic numerals are for people who work on assembly lines.

If you’re in a room full of scientists, you can round eight hundred and thirty-seven up to a thousand, and nobody will even cough. They understand. When exactitude matters, it matters. The rest of the time, it’s a hindrance and a pain in the butt. If scientists liked getting bogged down in difficult numerical calculations, they would never have invented algebra or the metric system.

This is why, in the movie Rain Man, Dustin Hoffman was not working for NASA. At NASA, nobody cares if you know how many toothpicks are on the floor. They are not going to give you a job just because you can calculate square roots instantly. That stuff is useless. It might have been important in 1944, when we were using clunky IBM machines to do calculations to help us build the atom bomb, but probably not even then. Nobody wants to hear about the trees. What matters is being able to see the forest.

I remember back when liberals were lying about Saddam Hussein’s uranium ore. They claimed it didn’t exist, but there were actually 500 tons of it. Using ballpark figures, I came up with a guess as to how many bombs you could make with that much ore. And I was wrong. But I was so close, it didn’t matter that I was wrong. My point was that it could make somewhere around a hundred bombs, and the actual figure was not far from a hundred. A real nuclear engineer, Ward Brewer, did a more exact calculation, which is how I know I was wrong, and also how I know my answer was useful and sufficient. ONE bomb would have been a lot, to the people in the vicinity when it went off. The most fundamental point was to show that that ore could do a lot of damage, and I’m pretty sure I succeeded.

When my grandfather died, and I was sitting on the runway, getting ready to fly to his funeral in Kentucky, I thought about all the cigarette tobacco he had grown in his life, and in a few minutes I was able to calculate that my family had probably given about ten people lung cancer. I thought about that, because the family was going through a lot of misery, and it seemed as though we were being repaid for something. If I were obsessed with exact figures, I would never have been able to do the calculation. Maybe the real number is five. Maybe it’s twenty. If you want to get philosophical about it, there is no real answer. But ten is a useful estimate.

There are many examples in science where a result that is off by a factor of two is perfectly acceptable. If you’re a smarty-pants who loves correcting people with exact numbers, that will probably depress you. Well, it should. You ought to know whether or not you’re a scientist by now. If you’re not…shut up.

Many of the figures we spout and use with confidence are approximations. The sun isn’t really 93 million miles away. The population of the US isn’t really 300 million. Come on. For crying out loud, pi is an approximation, even if you take it to three thousand decimal places.

Scientists have a word for the numerals in a number, which they consider meaningful. They call them “significant figures.” What does that tell you about the ones they leave out?

I think Star Trek is one reason people get overly excited about highly accurate figures, which are what real scientists and mathematicians call “trivial.” Back in the day, very often, Kirk and Spock would find themselves in a pickle, and Spock would say something ridiculous, like, “Our chances of survival are approximately 1 in 3457,329.02304730979.” And Kirk, who never thought about anything more complicated than scoring with alien babes without revealing his girdle or losing his wig, would buy it. And of course, there was no way Spock could back up that figure, and even if he had, there is no way you could have called it “approximate.” When he said “approximately,” he was just being an ass. Like, “I could give you ten more decimal places, but it would do you no good, because you would still be the descendant of a monkey.”

You have to remember: Star Trek was not written by scientists. It was written by chain-smoking TV writers with big hard livers, liberal arts degrees, and deadlines. Even TNG, which seems to have gotten some occasional input from scientists, had some pretty unscientific dialogue. I remember somebody on the bridge saying the temperature of something was like 7 million Kelvins below zero, or something like that. You can have a positive temperature of 7 million units. In the negative direction, there’s a floor. Off the top of my head, I think 0 Celsius is +273.15 Kelvins. Zero Kelvins is the absolute bottom. You can’t get any colder than that, even in February with the windows open and your hand down Hillary Clinton’s blouse.

You’ll notice I’m not checking the Kelvin thing, any more than I checked to see if the first four digits of pi, past the decimal sign, are .1428. That’s because IT DOESN’T MATTER. The concept is what matters.

So no, I’m not surprised that a good estimator might turn out to be a good mathematician. It’s probably surprising only to the kind of people who write newspaper articles.

The Truth is in There

Tuesday, September 16th, 2008

Like it or Not

Agent Bedhead has discovered the next hot chick who is going to take Hollywood by storm. I think I’m in love!

My, we Have a Lot of Manuels and Achmeds Today!

Tuesday, September 16th, 2008

Get Out the Home Depot Vote!

GREAT NEWS FOR DEMOCRATS! Republicans in Michigan have been caught falsifying voter registrations!

Oops, I’m wrong. It’s the Democrats again.

My Debate Fantasy

Tuesday, September 16th, 2008

Fresh new Ideas in a Can

If Karl Rove were half the man Democrats say he is, wouldn’t he be preparing something like this for the first debate?


It’s a little bit like painting a curved line on a highway, directing Wile E. Coyote into the side of a butte.