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Archive for the ‘God’ Category

Receive Everything by Admitting You Deserve Nothing

Monday, May 18th, 2015

Life is More Than Fair

God keeps giving me breakthroughs. I don’t know how much I can do for other people, but I do try to share. People don’t have any real motivation to listen to me, and there are all sorts of competing voices out there spreading sweet-tasting nonsense. I can’t do much about that, but I can say a few words once in a while.

I turned back to God because life didn’t feel right, and I was under stress. I felt some guilt, which is commendable, but I was largely motivated by a desire to have a more pleasant experience here on earth. There is no reason to lie about it. I didn’t wake up one day with a burning urge to help God do his work.

In my pursuit of blessings, was strongly encouraged by the charismatics I looked to for teaching and support. My old church was a silly, embarrassing fermentation chamber of selfishness and denial. Then there were the characters on TV. Some TV preachers told me that what God really wanted was for me to be rich, and that he would make it happen in exchange for donations to their ministries. Other TV preachers said that what I really needed was motivational training, to provide me with the encouragement and willpower to make things happen with my own strength.

My influences were awful. But I knew one thing that was useful. Back in the 1980s, God had made me understand that if I prayed in tongues a lot, everything would work out. So I stuck with that. Unfortunately, most of the teachers who influenced me were working against God, and that slowed me down. I listened and tried to reconcile when I should have walked away.

I knew the money-lovers were wrong. I had been burned by them in the past. They are complete idiots. But I still thought it was important to donate a lot. I also thought it was important to volunteer at church, and that it was important to help build the organization. In addition to these things, I was highly motivated by the idea that when I was aligned with God’s will, things would generally go well in my life, so if I gave money, volunteered, and did what seemed right according to the Bible, I would presumably have a blessed life.

I wanted to do what God wanted me to do, but really, I was thinking about the external blessings more than anything else.

My life improved a lot, but I could not truthfully say that I got satisfactory results.

I started to realize that it was very important to get rid of iniquity. I came to understand that human beings were full of dumb ideas and bad habits which came from external spirits and our own flesh. That was important.

People at my old church did not want to hear about it. Anything that smacked of repentance or correction was considered “legalism,” “division,” and “condemnation.” They seemed to believe that God wanted the Wilkerson family–the pastors and their offspring–to be very rich and highly admired, and that the purpose of the people who attended the church was to submit without question, to give and do without complaint or restraint, and above all, to smile and shut up.

I understood that I needed to change, but I still didn’t have a heartfelt love of change. I was glad that God had helped me to be grateful, and that he had delivered me from eating too much, but I did not have a burning enthusiasm for improvement. Mainly, I wanted the power and help that come from improvement.

I don’t know if I can be blamed for that. I was raised in a dysfunctional family, and I had all sorts of scars. I wanted an ordered and peaceful life.

I kept praying in tongues and receiving new knowledge. During 2014 and the last few months, things started to shift. I had a list of people I prayed for every day, and I started praying a lot for internal change. I asked God to remove our iniquities and put the heart of Jesus in us. I asked him to put his ideas, urges, and emotions in us. Since I started making these requests, things have broken loose.

Over the last few months, I’ve developed a genuine love of correction I have started asking God for it, explicitly and fervently. I have started to crave it. This is a major change, and it has made my life much more pleasant.

Correction, which is another word for righteousness, sounds like an unpleasant thing. It sounds like I asked God to hit me with a stick or take away everything I enjoyed, but that’s wrong. Supernatural correction is just healing and straightening. It enables you to do the things you want to do yet were not able to do in your own strength.

I have always had a lot of weaknesses. I was disorganized. I worried. I was afraid, usually of things that were extremely unlikely to happen. I was bitter because I felt that I had been cheated in life. Even if I rejected bitterness and refused to indulge it, it was still inside me. I had issues with crabbiness, even though I did not like being crabby. My work ethic was bad. I was messy. I procrastinated. I didn’t connect with people as well as I wanted to, because past mistreatment had put barriers and limiting chains inside me.

If you listen to most preachers, they’ll tell you to fight problems like the ones I had. Fighting is swell, if you can’t get rid of the problems. God wants to take your inner problems away so you don’t have to fight them. There is a difference. It’s better to be good than to try to be good.

You can argue all day about whether a person who is good without trying is as praiseworthy as someone who fights his negative traits every day. It doesn’t matter. We are not supposed to be good through willpower and determination. After all, the Bible says our righteousness is like rags used for cleaning people’s rear ends. It’s somewhat better than nothing, but it’s weak and failure-prone.

Think about the people you know who have tried to change. What percentage of people who diet stay thin? What percentage of addicts stay clean for life? Have you ever known anyone who continued to work out and eat right until his death? I think Jack Lalanne managed it, but he was one in millions.

Sometimes we succeed in changing certain things about ourselves, but generally we fail. Even Arnold Schwarzenegger let himself get fat, weak, and flabby at least once, and his self-discipline is legendary.

Correction means relief from your weaknesses. It can come through supernaturally imparted knowledge. It can come from deliverance from spirits. It can come from the power of the Holy Spirit. However it comes, it’s very, very good, and the shocking thing is that it even feels good. It feels better than receiving money. It feels better than meeting your one true love. It feels better than success or physical healing. Once you start receiving it, you’ll understand how good it is, and you’ll want more. As the Bible says, “Taste and see that the Lord is good.” Nothing is as convincing as experience.

Once I started feeling correction happening inside me, I got very excited about it, and I found that I wanted it more than anything. The peace it brings is magnificent. It feels like the peace of accomplishment, but unlike that peace, it is neither temporary nor illusory. It comes from God, not you, so you can’t claim credit.

The inner correction led to outer manifestation. I saw it in my surroundings. My house was gross. There was disorder everywhere. There were places where the dust was a horror to see. I had junk I needed to get rid of. Things needed to be moved. When I started receiving correction, suddenly things started changing. I used to be intimidated by cleaning and organizing, but they became pleasant hobbies.

I bought various cleaners and tools. I got excited about microfiber and HEPA filters. I threw things out. I moved furniture and mopped under it. I washed things that had never been washed. I finally learned how to get a bathroom to look the way it should, instead of being satisfied with bleaching the floor and toilet.

I got back into electronics. I brought my old calculator back to life, and when I couldn’t get the display to work right, I replaced it. I found myself compiling and synthesizing information from various sources. I did homework for several hours a week, and I put everything in a big notebook.

I developed a crazy system of exercises I designed myself. They take about fifteen minutes a day, they require no equipment, they’re easy to do, and they work.

I got off of carbs, caffeine, and sugary drinks, and I started eating more fat, protein, vegetables, and fruit. I feel better. I don’t have carb headaches or caffeine irritability.

I am better able to manage the tasks of an orderly life. I feel like Hercules, cleaning the Augean stables, or Alexander, cutting the Gordian knot.

The funny thing is that I’m being blessed, which is what I wanted back when I was misguided. Isn’t that wrong? Should I be so quick to conclude that the good things that happen to me are indicative of success in my walk with God? Doesn’t this make me a bad, blessing-obsessed Christian? No! I’m getting these things as the result of the inner change which is now my primary goal. As Jesus said, you have to seek God’s kingdom and his righteousness first, and then the other stuff will come. Now that the little things are less important to me, they come more easily.

If you can get to a state in which you really love correction, the way you love pizza or following your favorite sports team, you will receive correction, and with it, you will receive external blessings.

The message is not that blessings come through correction. The message is that correction is the blessing.

Last week, I moved another step forward. God made me realize that I deserve to be in hell. That sounds bad, right? It’s not. It’s liberating.

Every human being above a certain age deserves to be in hell, suffering terribly, under the authority of vicious beings that torture and abuse without rest. Think about that. If that’s true, can anyone on earth claim to have been cheated?

Earth is the rim of hell. It’s a terrible, corrupt place, filled with suffering. But it’s not hell itself. People in hell would do anything to get back here. We can’t imagine how much they want to be anywhere other than hell.

If these things are true, then every bad thing that has ever happened to you has not only been fair; it has been much, much better than what you deserve. Maybe other beings had no right to mistreat you, but that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve it.

Life is not unfair. It’s just not. Life is way more than fair. We are not victims.

Maybe you’ve been raped. Maybe you’ve been imprisoned unjustly. Maybe you have cancer. Your problems may be horrible. But you’re not in hell, and if you could choose, knowing what hell is like, you would beg to be here, with every problem you have, before you would agree to spend one day tormented in the pit.

We have a tendency to complain to God. We think we’re supposed to have good lives, whether we do anything for him or not, simply because other people seem to have good lives. If you can’t find a spouse or a good way to make money, or if you have an illness you can’t get rid of–if you have any problem which seems unusual to you–you may feel cheated. In your heart, you’ll say, “It’s not fair.” But it is fair. Actually, that’s not true. If life were fair, you’d be in hell, and Jesus would never have been tortured to death. Do you really want fairness?

God gave me something to say to myself. I say, “The worst things that have ever happened to me are much better than what I deserved.” These words have supernatural power. When I have a problem that seems like a big deal to me, and I start to feel cheated, I say these words to myself, and I feel the power working in me. Tension leaves me. Bitterness goes. It’s wonderful.

I have been asking God to destroy my pride, and these words are among the tools he gave me to help him get it done. Job suffered until he admitted he could not say he deserved better. We are in the same boat. The Bible clearly says God is the enemy of the proud, and that includes proud believers. It includes people who preach and run churches. It includes proud people who run Christian orphanages. If I think I’ve been cheated, I’m proud; I’m saying I’ve earned something better. As a result, God will fight me, and he can’t lose. If I admit I’m getting a much better deal that what I have coming, he will fight my problems, not me.

It works. It’s not a joke. You have to try it. Say, “I am not a victim,” and mean it. Realize you deserve evil, not good. Get out of denial. Stop comparing what you have to what your “blessed” neighbors have.

If you will put this stuff to work, you will get a result. If you defend yourself and claim God will reward you bases on what you do, you will remain stuck in the swamp of pride, spinning your wheels and sinking. Don’t do it. No one has the standing to defend himself before God. It will poison your future and ruin your success.

I hope someone who reads this will try it.

Why You Can’t Use the Courses You Passed

Tuesday, May 5th, 2015

Enroll at Ebay University

I got a few comments on my last post, which was about studying electronics online. I feel like I should add a few things.

Andy-in-Japan says: “Thanks for the info – I’ve been looking for something to help out some members of the extended family that were a step up from Khan. And this looks fantastic!”

Steve G. (not sure if he wants his full name here) says: “The MIT courses are good from what I’ve seen. There’s also a new edition of The Art of Electronics out this month that I am digging into now; depending on the things you want to learn, it could be a good resource.”

I’m glad the stuff I wrote looked helpful, and I hope it was, but I know a little more than I did then, so I am adding a few things.

First off, I had to take to my bed after Steve mentioned The Art of Electronics. This book was one of the few dark spots in my efforts to get a physics degree. I felt like it was written in nerdese, which is impenetrable to normal people.

One of the big problems with technical texts is that they are written by people who can’t remember what it was like to NOT know the subject and the jargon. So they use weird slang and explain things poorly, if at all. I think the lab manual from The Art of Electronics is great, but the book seems more like a reference than a teaching tool. I would stay away from it if I were getting started. Which I am, sort of.

I am going through the lab manual now, redoing the experiments with a breadboard, an oscilloscope and multimeters (thank God for Ebay). It’s good for me to remember what it was like to do things in an ordered way, with tables and whatnot.

Second thing…I would not recommend relying on the MIT/EDx course. It’s incomplete. I don’t consider this a knock on MIT. They do a great job producing miracle workers. I think it’s a knock on electronics teaching in general.

I rounded up a few external sources when I got started. I will list them here.

1. The Electric Circuits Problem Solver
2. Electronics Demystified
3. Basic Circuit Analysis (Schaum)
4. Principles of Electric Circuits, Thomas L. Floyd, 2000.

I have some other things, but these are the really useful ones.

I knew I needed to do solved problems in order to learn, so I started trying to do problems in the first three books. I found I could not get through a chapter without extra research, because they mentioned ideas and methods that were not mentioned in the MIT lectures.

For all I know, later on in the MIT course, all these things are covered, but I doubt it, because they are fundamental things that would be unlikely to appear in relatively advanced lectures.

I have been taking written notes from the MIT class, and I have been inserting additional notes between the pages. I write up my own explanations of material from other sources, including debunking some of the BS. This has made a world of difference in my progress.

It doesn’t do you much good to learn three methods from one guy when you find yourself confronted with challenges that require five methods from other teachers. And sometimes the things you learn will turn out to be wrong or so backward they cause you problems.

If your teacher is good, you should be able to do any problem that isn’t above the course’s level, regardless of which book it appears in. Obvious?

Example: I had to relearn Gaussian elimination, for purposes of solving systems of linear equations (voltages and currents and so on). One source said to put augmented matrices in reduced echelon form and then use the results. This is insane advice. It can be incredibly tedious and nearly impossible to put a matrix in that form. In reality, you can save yourself a lot of pain by settling for echelon form or simply creating one row among the unknowns with only one nonzero entry.

I’m not going to explain that, because it’s boring, but trust me: you do not want reduced echelon form unless the matrix is really cooperative, and you can waste your life trying to obtain it. I spent hours trying to do it with a 3 x 3 matrix, and then I wrote my own treatment of linear equations and realized it’s a five-minute job IF you don’t do it the stupid way.

I also learned that Cramer’s rule (another tool for solving systems) is to be avoided at all costs. Lots of tedium, and no advantage over Gaussian elimination. Maybe I’m wrong, but I can’t see any reason to consider using it. But the books teach it.

Another example: an instructor may not tell you how to count loops in a circuit. This may be important, depending on what you’re doing. The answer is simple: count the components and sources, subtract the number of nodes, and add 1. Again, it’s too boring to explain, but it’s very useful.

If I were enrolled in the MIT course for credit, I would be in trouble, because I would never have time to consult the other sources or write my own material. I would have to keep up with tests and so on, so my time would be limited. Because I’m not taking tests, I have time to do it right. And if I ever decided to take the course for credit, it will be a joke, because I’ll be better prepared than most students.

Third thing…if you plan to study electronics, you should definitely get your own equipment and do practical work at home. After all, you’ll eventually need it. You’re studying so you can use what you’ve learned, and you can’t do that without equipment.

I have a breadboard and some handheld multimeters, and I also have some other stuff lying around. An old HP function generator and an HP current source. I learned something that will be very helpful to anyone amassing equipment on the cheap: old bench multimeters are plentiful on Ebay. A bench multimeter is a big box which, if you’re lucky, has an AC cord instead of batteries. They do all sorts of things, you don’t have to hold them in your hands or prop them up, you never have to change batteries, and you can get a nice one delivered for $50.

I forgot to mention the oscilloscope. I have an ancient Hitachi I bought for $50. It would not be useful for creating the next groundbreaking CPU, but it will be a very long time before I reach a point where I need anything better.

Radio Shack has an interesting product that can be useful. They’re going out of business, so this is the time to buy it. Forrest Mims, the electronics educator, helped them create a self-contained project lab, complete with a little breadboard, an ammeter, and components. You can buy it for under $35. It comes with two books of projects. I grabbed one, and it’s nice for gaining practical experience without driving yourself crazy looking for the components you might find in a college lab text. You can also use it for testing your own ideas.

They call it the “Electronics Learning Lab Kit.”

I fiddled around with electronics in the past, but I never really got anywhere. It was like I was in a jar with a big heavy lid on top, obstructing my progress. Now things are really coming together. It makes me wonder what I could have accomplished when I was younger, had I really known how to study. In the past, I just showed up in class and did what they told me. That doesn’t really work unless your teacher is exceptional.

It shows how life changes when you submit to God. When you do things in your own strength, no matter how great it is, you will fail, or your success will be a curse, because God opposes the proud. Once you submit and start gaining supernatural power, tasks that used to defeat you start to crumble before you, and people who used to chase you start running from you.

America is in decline because we’re proud. We forgot who made us strong, so we don’t pray or give him credit. We don’t get to know him, and he does not guide our lives, so we do silly unproductive things, and we lose a lot. People who used to hide from us are now out in the streets giving us orders. Foreigners come here illegally, appear on TV, and shame us for refusing to give them privileges exceeding our own. Terrorists kill us from time to time, on our own soil. This is how life goes for the rebellious.

Things are rapidly getting worse, not just for America, but for Christians who live in America. We are not being spared. Our enemies beat us every day. That’s because we’re not good Christians. We don’t pray in the Spirit. We don’t hear from God. We have no idea which way to turn. He doesn’t help us, because we’re trying to do our own will, and we’re claiming it’s his.

I can’t go back to that. I would rather die than go back to wondering who would defeat me next. It’s not an acceptable way to live. Often released convicts say they will never go back to prison, no matter what it takes to avoid it. I understand that completely. No one wants a life of defeat, hopelessness, and humiliation.

It’s not really important whether I master electronics, but my success is a good example of the way God turns things around when I listen to him.

America is not going to do well. We can’t admit we’re wrong. We think evil is good and good is evil, so we can’t even diagnose our problems. A small residue of people will find help from God, and the rest will continue to fail. Even those who prosper financially will be failures, because they will have to lose themselves in order to get what they want.

When things get really bad, people will point to Christians who are successfully persecuted, and they will say it’s proof God isn’t real. In reality, it will just prove that proud, ignorant Christians don’t get much help from him.

It’s unfortunate that there is no solution to the problem, but at least you can save yourself, and you can help a few people around you avoid the mess. Really, that’s what we should expect. Lot, Noah, Moses, and Jesus were not able to save many people, and that’s a pattern which exists because of the stubbornness of human beings. It will never change as long as we have free will.

Anyway, while the country continues to slide, I will try to enjoy whatever peace and productivity I can.

I hope the information on electronics will be helpful to people, and that folks who know more about it than I do will add to what I wrote.

Why You are Still Here

Monday, February 2nd, 2015

It’s not so You Can Buy Anointed Miracle Healing Cloths

Time for another update.

I have learned something disconcerting: when the Holy Spirit drops a bombshell revelation on you, after you get over the surprise, the knowledge seems obvious. Because it is. We are unbelievably blind without his help. Things that are obvious–things God spells out pretty plainly in the Bible–are completely hidden from us.

We swim in a sea of lies. Well, some of us swim. Most lie on the bottom.

I got a big revelation that will sound obvious when I disclose it: our purpose on the earth is to put the heart and mind of Jesus into human beings.

I think most Christians would agree. It’s not a controversial opinion. In fact, the Bible says the reason God leaves the saved here instead of rescuing us from this cesspool is so we can reach others. But we don’t take the message to heart. Our main priorities are carnal, and that is generally true of preachers as well as the rest of us.

God offers us help with our problems. No doubt about it. He offers financial abundance, physical health, quality marriages, and success at what we do. But we make these things our focus, as though the only reason God exists is to do nice things for us. These gifts are not supposed to be our goals. They are helps God gives us while we work on what really matters.

I know I’m always criticizing TBN and the prosperity preachers. Well, I’m going to keep doing it. These people have charismatic Christians convinced that God is their genie. Got a problem? Pay God a large fee, through whatever preacher is speaking to you at the time, and God will fix it. God should have a price list. In fact, in some churches, he does. My pastor was at a church where a leader told people to form lines in order to receive prophecies. The $25 prophecies were in one line, the $100 prophecies were in another, and so on.

People get upset when I criticize. They think Benny Hinn and Joel Osteen and their pals are doing great things, even though they’re “not perfect.” That’s sad. The people who defend them have no discernment at all. They don’t understand that these preachers are doing tremendous harm. By baiting people with false promises, they get believers to focus on selfish things, and the big problem with that is that it prevents us from thinking about the things that actually matter. You will never get what God wants you to have as long as some greedy goofball in a $5000 suit poor people paid for is telling you to go after something else.

Which you probably won’t get.

It’s better to be saved and be greedy and ignorant than to know nothing at all about God. I grant you that. But we shouldn’t be comparing bad with worst. We should be comparing bad with best. The best is possible, and God wants you to have it. The best thing that can happen is for you to become like God in your heart and mind, and it will never happen while you’re obsessed with cars, houses, marriage, and so on.

Every person on earth is spirit-led.

Christians think the phrase “spirit-led” only refers to holy people. That’s true, if it refers to the Holy Spirit. But every person on earth is led by spirits. If the spirit that leads you isn’t the Holy Spirit, it’s Satan. I don’t care if you’re a Christian, an atheist, a Buddhist, or what. There are only two choices.

The modern crop of Satanists realize most people don’t really want to worship the devil, so they promote Satanism as self-worship, which more people find acceptable. They actually claim Satan doesn’t exist. They say he’s a fictional character they admire and use as a role model. He did his own thing. He believed in himself, and mean old Jehovah destroyed him for it. Satanists tell people to be themselves and think for themselves. But that option is not available on planet earth. If you try to be your own master, you submit to Satan.

A person is like a house. Spirits will come and live in it, one way or the other. If you’re not full of the Holy Spirit and moving in the fruits and gifts of the Spirit, and you’re not completely dedicated to God’s agenda, you are inhabited by spirits that hate God, and they make you feel unproductive urges and emotions. They also invite friends, the way crackheads invite other crackheads to abandoned houses. They are illegal aliens and squatters.

As a result of their presence, almost all of us are full of iniquities, which means we are full of externally imposed inclinations toward evil. We usually think these inclinations are our own, but that isn’t true, because when we try to get free of them, they persist.

When Jesus died for us, he bought us the right to forgiveness, but he also bought us the right to be filled with a better spirit: the Holy Spirit. Once the battle to get you saved is over, a new battle begins: the battle to 1) drive out the spirits that have ruled you, and 2) put the Holy Spirit in charge.

Being baptized with the Holy Spirit doesn’t get rid of the opposing spirits immediately. The Holy Spirit is not pushy. He will do exactly what Jesus told us to do: when he is invited, he will take the worst seat in the house and wait to be called forward. This is why we see Spirit-filled preachers on TV, moving in the gifts of the Spirit but serving greed and lust and pride. The Holy Spirit operates in them to a certain extent, but he isn’t the boss.

If you think I’m wrong, consider Jesus. Lie us, he had to be baptized with the Holy Spirit. Unlike most of us, he received that baptism when he was water baptized. What did he do then? He went to the wilderness to rid himself of iniquity. Satan tempted Jesus and tried to rule him, but Jesus renounced him. After that, he began his ministry and did all sorts of miracles.

God is waiting for us to admit we’re full of spirits and evict them. When that happens, we’ll see real power and virtue.

When iniquity is subdued, we start to have the heart and mind of Jesus. He reveals things to us, and our motivation changes. When that happens, we become one with God.

People argue about the Trinity. They say it’s one being manifesting three different ways. Some say Jesus is the Messiah, but he’s not really God, because there is only one God. I stopped torturing myself with the riddle and accepted what seems to be the obvious truth: Jehovah, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit are three separate beings. When the Bible says they are one, it means they are so unified in nature and intentions, they will always agree and work together. They will never have conflict, and they use the same power. This is what God wants for us. He wants us to be aligned with him internally. When that happens, we will be one with him, and things will flow. This is the kingdom of God. When God rules inside you, the kingdom of God is in you.

We don’t think about that much. We try to be good, but most of the time our big priority is to get God to give us stuff and do things for us.

God is supposed to guide us, but we choose our own jobs and wives and so on, and then we demand help from God. I guarantee you, right now, there are strippers asking God to help them in their careers. We’re supposed to let God put us where we should be. If we do that, then he has an incentive to help. If you’re doing things God doesn’t want you to do, why should he help you? What would be the point?

Preachers are as bad as anyone. They see rich megachurch pastors on TV, and they think God wants them to be filthy rich. They make slaves of people who come to them for teaching. They demand huge offerings. They demand unreasonable service from volunteers. They muzzle people; anyone who speaks correction is evil! They shoo the needy away while kissing the rear ends of the wealthy, famous, and powerful. This was the way things worked at my old church. They’re still doing it. The pastor’s son is running around on reality TV with the Kardashians. His reputation is wiped out, but he doesn’t know it yet, because all he can see is fame.

To have the heart and mind of Jesus, you have to get rid of the heart and mind of Satan. You have to clear out the spirits you used to serve. You have to invite the Holy Spirit and pray in tongues to get connected to power and correction. If you don’t do these things, whatever you’re doing with your life is almost certainly a waste of time, and you aren’t going to get the full measure of power and help.

God gave us the story of Joshua to presage all this. The promised land represents you. The people who squatted there represent the spirits that rule you in God’s absence. The pillar of cloud and pillar of fire represent what they are: the Holy Spirit. You’re supposed to follow the Holy Spirit and root out his enemies. Then the land thrives in victory and peace.

Here is what Joshua said:

Now therefore, fear the Lord, serve Him in sincerity and in truth, and put away the gods which your fathers served on the other side of the River and in Egypt. Serve the Lord! 15 And if it seems evil to you to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

This is the choice you have to make, and serving the Lord doesn’t mean going to church or working as a volunteer or feeding orphans. It means making the Holy Spirit the dominant spirit in your life, above even your own.

I don’t know if this will help anyone or not, but it’s the truth.

Fall Cleaning

Thursday, November 6th, 2014

You Want the Wrong Things

Time to catch up. Stuff happens all the time, but I don’t always feel I should write about it. Sometimes I feel like I would be taking a half-baked cake out of the oven.

More and more, I am realizing that the only truly valuable work God does is inside us. Charismatics see a fair number of miracles, including healing, and we tend to focus on things God does in the natural world. We are caught up in a web of lies from people like Kenneth Copeland and Steve Munsey; preachers with no vision try to convince us that we should pursue God in order to get rich and receive other relatively trivial blessings. We put the cart before the horse, so we don’t make much progress at anything God actually cares about.

When Satan wants to get at us, the primary thing he does is to lie. Sure, he causes illnesses and other problems, but those things happen because we believe his lies.

If we had not believed lies, the planet would not be cursed, and we would not be dealing with poverty and sickness and so on. A few lies destroyed the world. And since then, the lies have increased, inside every one of us. All of us are corrupted by faith in lies.

The Bible tells us Satan is the accuser. He stands in front of God accusing us of things–most of them true–and he gets power to harm us. But the Bible doesn’t talk much about the other side of the coin. Satan accuses God before us, constantly, and we believe it. Then we go on to accuse him, ourselves.

There is always symmetry in the supernatural. The spiritual realm is full of two-edged swords. Satan apes God. Sorcerers imitate apostles and prophets. Charismatics get filled with the Spirit of God; occult practitioners offer themselves as vessels for evil spirits. God cursed man when Adam fell, and man also cursed God.

Think about this: God has been cursed with the same problems he gave us when we left Eden.

God said Adam would work hard for what he got, and that the earth would bring forth weeds and thorns. Doesn’t God work hard to save us? Think of the crucifixion and the constant flow of martyrs. And look at what Isaiah calls the rebellious: “And the light of Israel shall be for a fire, and his Holy One for a flame: and it shall burn and devour his thorns and his briers in one day.”

God said Eve would suffer in childbirth. As a result, human beings have gigantic heads when they’re born, and this makes labor very painful. Doesn’t God suffer in raising up children? Again, look at the crucifixion. And what prevents us from submitting and becoming God’s children? Our big heads. We value our silly thoughts above his.

God said wives would strive to rule their husbands. Don’t we strive to rule God? Isn’t that exactly what the prosperity preachers do? They want God to be their little genie, providing money on demand, so they can spend it on mansions and–let’s face it–whores.

God drove Adam and Eve out of a place of peace and success. Don’t we drive God out of our hearts and keep his peace and success out? Isn’t Eden a type of the healthy, blessed human mind?

God even put an armed cherub at the gate of Eden, to keep Adam and Eve out. Well, Satan is a cherub. He stands before our own gates, keeping the Spirit of God out.

So anyway, lies are our biggest problem.

Satan tells us God doesn’t love us. He says God can’t use us because we’ve sinned too much. He says God is dead. He says God is weak. He says God has decided not to help us. He says God gives us diseases to teach us things, and that we are not supposed to be healed. He says we’re supposed to be poor. He says we will always lose when we come up against his children.

We believe this stuff. That’s the problem. It’s slander, and we accept it, and then we repeat it in our hearts, and we become slanderers of God.

This is important. People think that what they do is what matters, but that’s completely wrong. What you do is important, but what you believe and feel is the root of your blessings and curses. The Bible clearly states that God looks on the heart, not the appearance, and that faith is accounted unto us as righteousness. It says the righteous shall live by faith, and that without faith it is impossible to please God.

The ancient Jews were satisfied with men who obeyed the rules, but Jesus came along and said that wasn’t good enough. The evil we kept to ourselves, without acting on it, was also unacceptable. Our desires are a problem. This is even true of desires we hate and ignore.

If you believe a lie about God, your heart and mind are not right, and your situation on earth will reflect that.

Charismatic deceivers lie by omission, failing to teach that prayer in tongues is essential. They don’t listen to God, so they don’t teach what he wants taught. They tell us prayer in tongues is “evidence,” as though that were its only significance. They don’t encourage people to pray in tongues daily. They have no understanding of the benefits, and they don’t care. They just want money, fame, and easy living.

Because we don’t pray in tongues, we have no faith, and faith is the money of heaven. We are literally poor in spirit. When we pray, nothing happens, and then we go to church and shout in fake joy when the preachers mention God’s promises, hoping they will eventually start to work.

Because we don’t pray in tongues, we have no revelation and no discernment. We don’t see our own faults. We don’t see God’s priorities. When a fool like “Rabbi” Ralph Messer shows up and wraps Eddie Long in a sacred scroll and tells everyone Long is a king, a big percentage of us buy it, because we haven’t had our eyes opened. Christians are THE biggest suckers on earth, but we are supposed to be the hardest people to fool.

No one who doesn’t pray in tongues should be preaching. It’s an invitation to disaster. It happens, because very few people who pray in tongues are available. God uses what he has on hand. But it’s not right. The blind are leading the blind, and Satan rules the vast majority of churches, charismatic, Catholic, Baptist, or what have you.

We don’t pray in tongues, so our hearts and minds remain unchanged, and we become what Jesus called “whitewashed tombs,” full of dead men’s bones. Bones represent the spirit. Demons are the spirits of men; they were the offspring of angels and women. The dead men’s bones that fill us are the demons of iniquity, and because we don’t pray in tongues, we welcome and feed them. Often we think they’re the Holy Spirit. And they don’t depart instantly when you receive the baptism with the Spirit. They stay until you turn on them and use God’s power and authority to drive them out.

Jesus said these things using metaphors, possibly because he knew men would destroy every copy of the gospels if he spoke plainly.

You have demons. You may not want to hear it, but it’s true. They work constantly to delay the end of the world and put off judgment. They are not looking forward to the lake of fire. They surround you and babble at you all day, and if you’re not praying in tongues, you don’t have God’s voice to balance them.

Think of the foolish concept of “quality time.” It was invented to excuse parents who didn’t want to spend ACTUAL time with their kids. The claim is that if you spend one really good half-hour with your son every day, he’ll be fine. Of course, that’s a lie. Every second that your kids are away from good influences, they’re surrounded by bad ones, and those influences produce a harvest. Similarly, you can’t get God’s wisdom and correction praying with your understanding for fifteen minutes a day. You need to put in long periods praying in the spirit, and your spirit will learn from your mind.

If you sow little, you reap little.

Hell is at the center of the earth, and it’s there for a reason. The kingdom of hell is at the center of a man. The more you turn inward and try to satisfy yourself, the more you increase the power of the kingdom of hell. What you need to do is to go in with a wire brush and clean everything out. God is above the earth, far from the center, and you will find his kingdom by valuing things that are outside of, and above, yourself.

One of the worst forms of slander is flattery, and self-flattery is probably the lowest type. Slander doesn’t have to be uncomplimentary. It just has to be false. Flattery is sweet, so we swallow it eagerly. And often it manifests in excuses.

If you’re not honest about yourself, you will turn God’s help away. Excuses are a wall of protection for pride. They preserve it. If you don’t admit fault, God takes it as a request to stop helping you. The Bible clearly states that he will actually fight you if you’re proud. Think about that! God fights Christians!

Why don’t preachers talk about this? They constantly come up with excuses for us and for God, explaining why we don’t see more miracles and more help. Why don’t they look at the Bible itself and find the most obvious explanation? If you have faith, and you still have problems, something else must be in the way. The Bible says God fights the proud and helps the humble. Could anything be more clear?

You’re not a victim. I don’t care what people or spirits have done to you. None of that could hurt you if your heart and mind were right. You have desires and drives that aren’t right, and when you obey them, you come up with excuses. You may even blame your culture. “I’m Latin.” “I’m Italian.” “I’m from Appalachia.” “I’m black.” As soon as that excuse rolls off your tongue, God sits back and folds his hands.

God’s primary goal is to transform you into his child, with his inner nature. That is JOB ONE. It’s not to give you money, find you a wife, heal your diseases, or fight your enemies. When you don’t confess and listen to correction, you are opposing the primary work he hoped to accomplish when he allowed himself to be tortured to death.

I got a bunch of revelation about this this morning, and it was very unpleasant. But I can’t go backward. The devil isn’t waiting to welcome me home with a big hug and an easy life. The Red Sea is behind me, so I have to get with the program, and so do you.

Quit obsessing on healing and money. Look inside yourself. Start cleaning things up, and do it with God’s power, not your own.

That’s all I feel like writing right now.

Organ Transplant Complete

Monday, October 6th, 2014

Yah di Buckety…

I have a new adventure to report. I have entered the world of tube organ ownership.

Here’s the story.

In the Twenties, a man named Laurens Hammond invented a circuit that kept good time. He used it to create the first accurate electric clocks. He created the Hammond clock company.

At some point, he realized he could generate accurate tones using his gadgetry. He decided to make some kind of novelty machine that made sounds, but his accountant suggested he create musical instruments instead.

This is how the Hammond organ was born.

The Hammond company made organs for about forty years. They used tube amplifiers and other weird old analog circuitry. And they were amazing. They were nothing like as big or expensive as pipe organs, but they were able to compete with them musically. They exuded mojo. Eventually jazz and blues musicians discovered organs, and we ended up with classics like “Whiter Shade of Pale” and “House of the Rising Sun.”

Eventually transistors and digital circuits ruined the market for Hammond organs, and Hammond’s competitors beat it to death with cheesy features that allowed people to push a couple of buttons and essentially make their organs play without much human input. Hammond folded, and later, his competitors folded. Now you practically have to pay people to take tube organs, except for four or five Hammond models that have developed a following. Even those can be had for one to three thousand dollars, which is very little, considering the complexity and quality of the instruments.

I have a friend named Travis. He plays on my church’s worship team. I believe he plays 12 instruments. Right now, he’s on scholarship at the Frost music school at the University of Miami. He has been pushing the team to go for a little more soul, and sometimes he throws in some organ licks on a small, crummy keyboard they use. Our pastor is also trying to steer the team in this direction.

I told the worship leader they could get a great old organ cheap if they watched the ads, but he thought it would take up too much room. Unfortunately, by the time he turned the idea down, I was already hooked on Craigslist, and I had found several nice Hammonds for sale.

The one that finally got my attention was an E133. This is a variant of the E100, which is one of the last good Hammonds. Someone was advertising it for a hundred bucks. I believe she originally wanted a thousand, but that doesn’t mean anything. If you watch Internet organ ads, you will see them start very high and end very low. Sometimes owners will actually pay to have organs hauled off.

Her organ sold for something like two thousand dollars when it was new (c. 1965), so she was probably shocked to learn that it was nearly worthless.

I had a hard time getting in touch with her. Her Craigslist ad expired, and she was slow to respond. Finally, I got ahold of her, and I made a deal. I would give her a hundred bucks for the organ if it was basically sound.

Enter Travis.

The E133 is one of Hammond’s heavier organs. Not the heaviest, but it’s a console, which means it’s bigger than a spinet. The M3 the hit “Green Onions” was played on weighs around 250 pounds. The E133 is maybe a hundred pounds heavier, before adding the pedals and bench. I decided Travis was going to help me carry it.

Here’s something really sad. I got a pickup so I could haul heavy things, and as it turns out, that plan has not panned out all that well. The organ errand demonstrates my point. It was supposed to rain on the day we planned to get the organ, so there was no way I could use an open truck. I had to rent a van. So aggravating.

I could not figure out how to get the organ to the van, but then I remembered those nylon forearm straps they advertise on TV. The invention is called the “Forearm Forklift.” You run the straps under heavy things and attach the free ends to your forearms, and this allows you to stand relatively straight when you lift. It makes moving heavy things easier. On Youtube, people move refrigerators with people sitting on top. I figured those straps were for me. I bought a pair.

We drove up to Davie, where the seller lived, and we threw the straps under the organ. Yes, it did move. But because it was so low to the ground, it was necessary to bend down pretty far, negating part of the benefit of the straps. Also, the organ threatened to tip to the side, which was not encouraging.

By a miracle of God, we got it to the driveway and put it behind the van, hoping to tilt it gently onto its back, via the rear doors.

At this point we learned something fascinating about lifting straps. Travis said he wanted to put his end of the organ in the van first and then help with mine, and that sounded okay, but when he got his end onto the van floor and let go of one strap, all the tension on that strap disappeared, and of course, the organ headed for the pavement with me shrieking as I strained to hang onto it.

I was positive we were about to drop over three hundred pounds of fifty-year-old cabinetry and tube amps on this lady’s driveway. All my organ dreams, up in smoke. Embarrassing.

By a second miracle of God, we stopped the organ and got it into the van, and then we requested and received a third miracle to get it down onto my driveway.

Here is Travis, trying the organ out. This is probably one of the happiest moments of his life. He likes that organ.

10 02 14 hammond e133 in garage with Travis

The organ had a few issues. For one thing, it had that “I’ve been in a house with cats” smell, big-time. For another, it made a funny hummy sort of noise. It also had a coating of crud on it. Some mysterious yellow substance. I obliterated paper towel after paper towel, removing filth from the keys and plastic surfaces. It may have been nicotine. That’s not as bad as the other things that it may have been, so I prefer to think that’s what it was.

The vibrato didn’t work, although I didn’t realize that. Also, after we ran it a while, it made hooting sounds. Oh well. A hundred bucks, right? How can you go wrong?

Since Thursday, I have been taking the organ apart and putting it back together. I learned some fascinating stuff.

Mr. Hammond’s organs do not have sealed bearings. Maybe they didn’t exist in the Sixties. Instead, a Hammond organ has a trough running down the midde of it, and that trough is filled with Hammond oil (actually about the same thing as air tool oil). The trough has a sponge in it, and from various points in the organ, cotton threads run to the sponge. At their other ends are weird bronze bearings. There are two plastic funnels over the trough. You pour oil into each funnel, and it goes into the sponge, and then it takes a three-week-long journey down the threads and into the bearings.

I’m not kidding. It really works that way. If you buy a Hammond organ today, and it needs oil, expect it to be ready to play three weeks after the day you oil it.

The hooting sounds came from bearings in the tonewheel generator. I’ll bet you want to know what that is.

You may know what a hurdy gurdy is. Probably not. It’s a gourd-shaped instrumend with strings. Inside it, there is a shaft with discs mounted transversely on it. When you crank the shaft, you can select strings and make them contact the moving edges of the disks. The disks act like violin bows; the rubbing makes the sound.

A Hammond organ is basically an electric hurdy gurdy. It has a motor at one end, and a shaft runs down the length of the organ. On the shaft, there are tonewheels. These are disks with notches around the edges. There are magnetic pickups, like guitar pickups, next to the disks. As the disks turn, the notches vary the voltage in the pickups, and you get a signal that produces a tone. The more notches a disk has, the higher the frequency of the tone.

The beauty of this system is that you can blend signals from multiple disks.

Over the keyboards (“manuals”), there are drawbars. These are sliding bars that determine how the tones blend. If you pull a drawbar all the way out, it maximizes the output from a certain wheel. Or certain wheels. I’m not sure. Anyway, it’s sort of like a graphic equalizer. If you always pull the drawbars out to certain lengths, you will always have the same sound. Jimmy Smith, the jazz organist, made a splash by using the pattern 888-000-000 on the nine drawbars of his organ. I should also add that the organ has two manuals, and each manual has its own set of drawbars.

The drawbars explain part of the organ’s appeal. An organ’s tones are not pure. Because you’re combining tones, every time you press a key, what you really get is a chord. If you’re a musician, you know that chords have a more satisfying sound than discrete notes.

The organ I bought is not the most desired Hammond. That would be the B-3. Generally, big rock acts used these to perform the classics we all remember. There are similar organs that are a little less desirable, like the RT2, the A100, and the C-3. The E-133 has some of the B-3’s good points, but it lacks others. And it has some silly features that have to be removed in order to make it sound its best. It’s a fantastic instrument, though. And for a hundred bucks, it’s the deal of the century.

A B-3 will run you two grand or more. I am not blowing that kind of money on what is essentially an impulse buy. But I’m willing to spend a hundred to get 85% of that experience.

Working on the organ is a nightmare. It’s very tight in the cabinet, and nothing is modular, in any sane sense of the term. It would probably take two hours to get the tonewheel generator out. The vibrato is generated in a little can at one end of the organ, and I had to remove it twice and bang around on it to get it working. It takes one hour to remove and one hour to replace. It probably has eighty parts, and they are very small, and they like to fall out of your oily hands and roll under things.

Today I got the vibrato working, and I am well on the way to having the hooting fixed. I still have to fix one pedal. If you don’t know, the pedals on an organ are bass notes. They’re very cool. One of mine is missing a small piece of metal that actuates the switch that plays the note.

I washed the whole organ with Murphy’s Oil Soap, and I should really do it again. I polished it with Scott’s Liquid Gold. The cat stench is just about gone, and now I’m not afraid to eat after touching the keys.

I told Travis he has a lifetime pass to play it.

Once it’s reasonably healthy I may move it out of the garage.

The folks at my church say they want it. NOW. Oh, no. Sorry. You get to wait for the next one, and someone else has to deliver it. I’ll find it and I’ll make it work. That’s more generous than it sounds.

If you like old organ music, get out there and find an old Hammond. Steer clear of other brands. If you’re not handy, you can get a Hammond digital B-3. The Suzuki company bought the name, and they make a fake B-3 as well as a compact version for the stage.

Sooner or later people will rediscover these things, and then you’ll be sorry. Or not.

Anyway, I got mine.

Not so Fast

Monday, September 8th, 2014

I am a Deacon

Many times in my life, I have had things placed in my hands and then taken away, as if someone who hated me found out and ran to me to “correct” things. It happened again yesterday.

On August 16, my church had a meeting, and they named new deacons, ushers, and one minister, plus a house prophet. My pastor stunned me by announcing that I was going to be a minister, which is a purely spiritual function. Deacons have to do things like cleaning, driving, and so on. Ministers go to the front of the church when the spirit moves, and they pray for people and lay hands on them and so on.

As a recent entry on this blog says, I was pretty happy about this. I have never asked for any type of promotion at any church, and I don’t promote myself. I have turned jobs down. They asked me to manage the kitchen at my old church, and I said no. I won’t drive the van for my current church, because of the liability. Driving is for people who have no net worth, unfortunately. If you have anything, you can be sued. Anyway, I was shocked and pleased to be a minister, because it was exactly what I wanted to do, I had not asked for it, and I wasn’t going to have to spend two more years proving myself.

The week after the meeting, someone said I was supposed to do something or other as a “deacon,” and I corrected them so there would be no confusion. And I’ve been talking to my friends about how wonderful it was to be recognized and put to use. I’ve been going to the front of the church to do minister work, trying to get it right.

Yesterday, someone on Facebook congratulated me on my anointing as a deacon, and I corrected it, and then my pastor’s wife corrected ME! She wrote “DEACON” in capital letters. That was news to me. The word used at the meeting was definitely “minister.”

So regardless of what was said at the meeting, I have actually been appointed to the deacon team. This means I’m doing exactly what I’ve been doing as an armorbearer. I still have that job. There has been no change at all. I just have an additional title. We don’t have any specific duties or authority. We don’t get training as deacons. I don’t know what the job is, yet.

The whole thing is very embarrassing, but what can you do? It wasn’t deliberate. Sometimes people mean to say one word, and another one comes out.

Yesterday I was fairly disturbed by it, and I went to God and tried to figure out why it bothered me. Before I was appointed, I was happy, so why wasn’t I happy after being moved up and then back down? And then he showed me a few things.

He reminded me that spirits and people have been trying to kill and suppress me all of my life. Things that should have worked out have been taken away from me, even when I did things right. People with lesser ability and character got honors that were supposed to go to me. I had opportunities to make money and succeed, and they were destroyed suddenly, in spite of my efforts.

I probably shouldn’t say this, but when I was 16, I got to go to Europe for six weeks with a bunch of other kids, and a pretty girl who had decided to lose her virginity asked me to take her out. We went on a double date with another girl and a friend of mine, and the friend started acting like the pretty girl was his date. I got shoved completely out of the picture. Years later, I found out he had sex with her that night. Obviously, it would have been bad if it had been me, but it’s exactly the kind of thing I’ve had to deal with.

At my old church, they made me a security guard. I was a scientist, a published author, and a successful lawyer. I was a great cook, and they needed help in the kitchen. The leadership was working-class and lower middle class. They were not highly educated, nor were they sharp or capable. I could have been useful. They made me a security guard and shut me out of the inner circle. This was how they operated. They had a phenomenal guitarist there–an established performer who has played concerts all over the US–and they put him in charge of frying disgusting SYSCO chicken. They took the worship leader–a man who went to college on a voice scholarship–and replaced him with the pastor’s son, who sang off-key. They put the worship leader in the kiddie area, where he entertained small children.

When I saw the minister position slipping away, memories of other things I had lost came back to me. This is why I was disturbed. If I had been made a deacon from the start, I wouldn’t have thought about any of these things. I would have been glad to get that far. But when you’re told you have something really good, and then you find out you’re getting something pretty good, it feels like a step down, not a promotion.

David was rejected constantly, until he became king. Even Samuel rejected him, until God forced him to anoint him. Rejection is a pattern anointed people go through. If you have an anointing, and you get promoted, and God is in it, it won’t be because you listened to some idiot preacher who tells people how to network. It will be because God forced people out of the way.

Rejection is something anointed people can count on. The thing I’m wondering is how deep it runs. I know the prosperity preachers are wrong. I know we’re not supposed to have orange mansions and mink-lined doghouses and all the other tacky stuff rich preachers love. But I also know that we’re supposed to have good things in this life, eventually.

I had another problem like this at my church. They asked a bunch of us to come in and be in a video. We posed for the camera, and they sent us home. They didn’t tell me what my image would be used for. Then they showed the video to the church. It showed various people posing while a voice told about the iniquities they dealt with. When my face came up, and voice said, “PORNOGRAPHY.”

I was not too happy about that. I will not sit here and say that I use the Internet and have never looked at naked women, but I never told anyone this was a major issue in my life, and I certainly never agreed to pose falsely as a porn addict in a video. I told them they could go ahead and use it if they wanted, but some of the media people got angry when I went on Facebook and pointed out that it was a dramatization, not a confession. They said it made them look unprofessional. Well, it made me look pretty funny, too! People were telling me how sorry they were for me, because of my “problem.”

I never said I wouldn’t talk about it, but evidently they thought I had agreed to be silent when I told them to go ahead and use it. I’m a lawyer. We think in fine print. I would never have agreed not to talk about it. Not in a million years. Anyway, it caused a brief stink, and I saw it as an effort by the enemy to drive a wedge into the church. These things happen. You can’t let them stop you.

When I found out I was a deacon, the memory of the pornography thing came back to me. It was as if someone was saying, “You are NEVER going to be accepted.”

Little things like this can eat at you. At my old church, the kid who ran the media booth dropped part of a heavy plywood set on me and nearly killed me. I had bruises and scrapes, and a lot of skin was scraped off the back of my left ankle. I had pain and trouble walking for weeks. I had to drive myself home and pay the medical bills. That wasn’t right, after I drove up there in my free time and tried to help them dismantle the set. The thing that hit me barely missed the back of my head. If it had hit me, I would be dead or brain-damaged. They could have reached out just a little bit, but they never did. You can forgive, but you can’t forget. For the rest of my life, whenever I have a hiccup in my relationship with any church, no matter how blameless everyone is, I’ll remember that.

I see the minister misunderstanding as an attack, to make me feel rejected. Somehow the enemy got my pastor to say the wrong word by mistake, to see if he could stir up these old feelings. Well, it won’t work. I’ve been counseling people for a long time, and as I told someone yesterday, now it’s time to take my own medicine. Because I helped other people, I know how to help myself. I’ll have whatever God wants me to have. God has never rejected me. I have not fallen off the fast track. The plan is still succeeding, whatever it is.

This summer has been a real bear for a bunch of people I know. This is just one more challenge in a series. I am really looking forward to the end. We’re not going to have problems this intense, continuously, for the rest of our lives.


Friday, August 29th, 2014

Plus Neat Tools

Sorry I haven’t been around. I use my garage computer most of the time now, so I rarely check my blog email address, and I am also lazy about looking up the password when the garage computer decides to log me out! Today I decided to face this horrible 20-second chore, and when I brought up the login page, my info was already there.

So there is not much to brag about in that little episode.

First thing: I got my CNC mini-lathe going. I’m afraid people would jump out of windows if I wrote about all the kinks I had to work out of it, but I can mention a few briefly.

For one thing, the x axis (the cross slide) insisted on running backward. This would work if I ran the lathe backward and put the tool on the wrong side of the part, but it’s not so good for normal operation.

I’m using Mach3 right now, because it’s supposedly the easiest way to get off the ground, and Mach3 has several settings that allow you to change the axis direction. They don’t work. I also tried changing the sign of the gain (please don’t die of boredom) in KMotion, but nothing happened. I finally gave up and switched the wires on one motor. That reverses it. Done.

Before this I had other problems. For one thing, I stepped on the USB cord that goes to the controller and pulled the female USB port out of the board. That was a bad moment. I had to take the board out, remove the port, suck out all the solder, put the port back on, and rig something up to replace the support tabs I destroyed in the accident.

Last night I got the thing going and figured out a few things about making Mach3 work, and I made this:

08 28 14 CNC mini lathe first test part with radius end

Impressive, right? Guess what it is!

Keep guessing if you want, but it’s nothing. It’s test scrap. I used one end to test OD turning, and I used the other end to test the ball/radius wizard. The hole in the end existed before I put the part in the lathe.

The steps per unit on the motors are wrong (probably) because I set them by eyeball. You’re supposed to do a calculation based on the number of turns of the lathe screw per inch. For my x axis, I should have gotten 5000 steps per inch, but I think I’m using 75000, which is a BIT high. My guesswork settings appear to be really close, but they still have to be fixed.

I was worried that this lathe would not be useful, but last night I realized it’s going to be very handy. It can swing parts up to about 4″, which covers a great deal of ground, and it will do all sorts of shapes. It may take a long time to cut each part, but who cares? It’s automatic. I don’t care if each part takes three hours.

I plan to improve the mechanics of it. I am not thrilled with the bearings.

Finally, I can think about something else.

Last week, a teacher named Andrew Wommack came to town. He rented a hall at the Miami Beach Convention Center. He does that because churches that hate the gifts of the Spirit are not lining up to let him speak in their buildings.

This guy is fascinating to me, because he teaches things I believe. I don’t hear much of this stuff on TBN (although he has a show, so maybe I should watch). It just comes to me by revelation, and my pastor also teaches it. The same teachings come to different people independently, which is exactly how the Holy Spirit is supposed to work.

A bunch of folks from my church went (nobody from Trinity showed up), and we listened.

It was wonderful to see him say so many liberating things. He reinforced things I believe, and he also cleared a few things up. It was as if there was stuff stuck in the pipe, and he knocked it loose.

He explained some scriptures I didn’t understand. For one thing, he said that when the Bible says people who are in Christ don’t sin, it refers to our spirits, which are cleansed and made like Jesus at the moment of salvation. The mind and flesh may continue sinning. He also explained the remark Jesus made about agreeing with your adversary quickly. He said it means that if Satan accuses you of something you’ve actually done, you should admit it and quit crippling yourself with self-righteousness.

He also taught that prayer in tongues is essential. It is what makes us strong. Effort is nearly worthless.

I don’t want to get too deeply into what he said, because I’ll remember it incorrectly. He has a website where you can hear his stuff for nothing. Here is a link.

Since the event, I’ve felt even more faith and power than I was feeling already. If people will get ahold of this stuff and use it, great things will happen.

Unfortunately, people like Joel Osteen and my old pastors have conditioned us to go to church just to feel good, so as long as what we hear makes us feel good, we wave our hands and have a great time, but we don’t really listen. We listen for slogans, not advice we actually expect to take. I don’t know how many people who were at the event will remember to apply what they heard.

I can tell you this: the reason the promises in the Bible don’t work is lack of faith. If you pray in the Spirit, you will develop faith, and you will get a revelation of who you are in the supernatural hierarchy. When you understand what you’re allowed to do, and you have the God-given faith to do it, you will see the promises function.

People will fight you if you tell them they can’t cast out demons, but it’s true for many of us. If you don’t know who you are, and you only have human faith, when you assert your authority, the spirits will just laugh. Or they will strip you naked, give you a beating, and chase you down the street. If you know who you are, so will the demons. Then they’ll listen.

Faith, authority, and sovereignty are manifestations of the same thing. Get faith, be honest with God, learn, and you will succeed. And to get faith, you’re going to have to pray in tongues.

Andrew Wommack baptized maybe two hundred people with the Spirit. On South Beach! That’s like doing it in Sodom.

I went up for prayer. A man prayed for my gallbladder issues, and he told me I was a seer. He said I saw darkness, and that I also had to see the light. He didn’t tell me everything was fine, and that THE REST OF MY LIFE WOULD BE THE BEST OF MY LIFE, or anything else that might have been cribbed from Stuart Smalley.

In the future, we won’t have to concentrate and work to have faith. Because we are built up, faith will flow easily. The mind will be aligned with the spirit, and we will be able to let God do the work. This will be a major problem for Satan, and it’s why he hates prayer in tongues. This is the kind of teaching that leads to major persecution.

If I had to say one thing seemed to be lacking, I would say it was teaching on love. I’m sure he does teach about it, but I have noticed that even the best teachers are not giving love enough attention. When God came to me in 1986, the things that I noticed immediately were not might or healing power. They were overwhelming love, total peace, and an absolute certainty that I would be protected and cared for as long as he was there. We need to remember that these things are important, because they’re not luxuries or rewards. They are essential defensive weapons.

Check out his website if you think this is appealing. He was very helpful to me.

The Boss’s Kid

Wednesday, August 20th, 2014

We are Seated in High Places, not High Chairs

I failed to write about the stuff that happened over the last week. I’ll give it another shot.

On Saturday, my church had a meeting for all the volunteers and staffers. Actually, I think we only have four staffers.

We were meeting so the pastor could encourage us to do some obvious things, like not being late, and so he could tell us about some personnel changes.

I’ve been an armorbearer for about two years, and I also work on the prayer team. I have not been particularly anxious to take on more responsibility, because my prayer life is very time consuming already, and the prayer team adds two hours per week. I do nearly nothing as an armorbearer, but I do make myself available, and I show up for church an hour early.

Over the last few weeks, I’ve been working to align myself with God’s agenda. It started with food. I knew it was wrong to bless food, because food doesn’t really need blessing. The Bible says we are to bless God. But how do you do that? It’s not like he needs a car or a watch.

I decided that when I ate, I would say things related to God’s goals. For example, I might speak defeat to the convenience abortion movement in America and Israel, and I would speak God’s protection to the unborn and to women who were being coerced to murder their children.

When I started doing this, my faith made a quantum jump. If you’re not a physicist, I will explain. A quantum jump is an instantaneous movement from one defined energy level to another. It’s not a gradual thing. I moved from a very good level of faith to a much better level of faith, very quickly.

Why did that happen? It was because God directs his resources to his children, not to idiots who send money to TBN preachers in the hope of becoming rich.

Let me digress. Last night I realized that a person who tries to buy God’s favor with offerings is exactly like a father who thinks he’s doing a great job because he spends money on his kids. All over the world, there are fathers who would rather die than get deeply involved with their kids, and the way they avoid it is by spending money and telling themselves it proves they’re great dads. If you give God money but not your heart, you’re actually using offerings to distance yourself from him.

To return to the point, we are supposed to be God’s children, working devotedly in his family business. If you had a factory that made tons of money, and your son was the manager, and he spent every day watching porn in his office, would you give him raises and send him new resources?


You would back up whoever stood up and tried to do your will. That person would get unlimited support.

That’s how the kingdom of God works, and in the kingdom, faith is money. I just got a raise.

Now when I pray and bless and curse, I try to start out with God’s issues. I speak defeat to the enemies of Israel. I speak faith, revelation, revival, and contrition to the people of America and Israel. I speak defeat to the gay movement. When I cover everything that seems to need attention, I move on to my own issues, and when I do, I have more faith to use in my own behalf.

More and more, I have been serving God, and I have been thinking of myself as his son, involved in the family business.

At the meeting, I saw our pastor make great moves. I have been speaking victory and promotion to the Spirit-led among us, and I have been speaking demotion to the carnal, and what our pastor did was very consistent with my efforts. I consider it a testimony. He put some very effective people in the right positions.

I will admit that I was a little disturbed when he named the armorbearers and didn’t mention me. I started wondering if he was aware I was on the team. If so, was I out? I did not want to be named Grand Poobah, but it would have been discouraging to get the boot from the position I had. I would have felt that nothing I had done had been noticed.

Toward the end of the meeting, he really shocked me. He mentioned me, and he said I had been serving as an armorbearer–whew!–and then he said I was being moved to the position of minister.

That was not expected. This is a position where your duties are almost purely supernatural. You don’t have to mow the grass. You don’t have to drive to the dry cleaners. You pray. You are allowed to lay hands on people, which was something I really wanted to do. You can counsel people. Of course, you can also do things that are not quite as supernatural. You can carry things and so on. But that’s not your reason for being there.

I really didn’t know what to say. They could have made me a deacon or an usher or something. That would have been an honor. But they put me in the exact type of position I wanted. I don’t mind making coffee or running errands. Not at all. But I have some tools that can be very useful, and if I’m constantly doing manual labor, I won’t be able to get much done.

How does this tie into the stuff about serving God? Simple. A minister is a servant. I decided to serve God with serious intent, and the first thing you know, God gave me the title of minister.

Of course, I have concerns about screwing up and being an embarrassment. While our pastor was speaking, he said, “When you become a parent, it changes everything.” He wasn’t talking about ministry, but I still felt it hit home.

These things are connected. When I withheld, God withheld. And this shows why the TBN teaching is so evil. It teaches people that God wants to serve them, and that as long as he gets their money, he doesn’t want anything else. It teaches people to send God telegrams instead of going to see him.

That’s all I have for now, but I think you can see why I’m freaked out.

School Begins

Tuesday, August 19th, 2014

It’s Harvest Season

Today two of my friends from church are going to the University of Miami for orientation. Both have been in college before, but they are finishing up at UM, which is a better school than the places where they started. Both are on scholarship. Another friend is starting at FAMU, and she’ll be transferring to FSU as soon as she gets the green light. Others I don’t know as well are starting at other universities.

My church’s Sunday attendance is probably around 175, including a lot of kids and babies, and most of the people there don’t have parents or grandparents who went to college, so five or six success stories amount to a significant wave of victories.

At my old church, we were always told that if we gave them enough money, God would make us successful. But people generally did not succeed. We didn’t see a lot of scholarships and diplomas. The leaders didn’t care. They were building their personal “brands.” I put that word in quotation marks, because it’s the kind of term that was dear to their hearts.

Travis is 24. He plays over a dozen instruments. He arranges and composes. He was an armorbearer at my old church. He has gotten into some trouble in the past, and his college career was put on hold years ago. At some point the UM music school accepted him, but he was dragged off the path. He worked at a county facility, teaching percussion to kids part-time.

He talked about going back to FAMU, which is not a great school. It’s an “HBCU,” which means “Historically Black.” I discouraged him from going back. I’m sorry, but those places are generally dumps. According to the all-knowing Wikipedia, their graduation rate is around 30%, and no one respects the degrees, because these outfits don’t have to compete with real schools. Call me a bad guy if you want. The truth is the truth. If you want to go and be taught that you’re a victim and that the world owes you a great job, go to an HBCU. If you want to improve yourself and your life, go to a real college.

Earlier this year, he slipped off on his own and auditioned, and UM accepted him again. At first, he got a partial scholarship, but very soon it was upgraded to a full ride.

Young black people are brainwashed about the things they supposedly owe “the community.” This is the community that provides them with bad values, danger, and restricted opportunity. Not sure how that generates a debt. I always tell him to forget the community. If you love it, leave, get rich, and go back and help out on the weekends. His neighborhood was a horrible influence on him, and his “friends” were poisonous and counterproductive. I kept telling him his future was somewhere else, and that he would need to get used to better surroundings and to people who didn’t drag him backward.

After he got his scholarship, terrible challenges started popping up to derail him. I told him that his friends had a mission: keep him alive until August. He said other people had told him the same thing. He made it. He’ll be at orientation today.

I don’t know Tina well. Her sister Carmelisa had to raise her. I don’t know if her parents are alive, but they are not around. By the time Tina was 18, she already had a pile of college credits. She competed in beauty pageants in order to get ahead. She won some sort of scholarship from Johnson & Wales, which is known for culinary schools. They also offer things like accounting. I believe she is still 18, and she only has two years left to go. She’s going to study business management and computer science.

I think Carmelisa is freaking out, because Tina is leaving her house and moving into a dorm.

I just got interrupted by a call from Travis. I wish I had met him over there today. He’s having the time of his life. He’s meeting his trombone professor today. He’s touring the facilities. He’s checking out the girls; that’s not good. Maybe I’ll meet him for lunch.

Freddelle is the one who went to FAMU this semester. FAMU is in Tallahassee. Her sister and her sister’s boyfriend drove her up on Sunday after church. Her sister’s son is my godson.

I don’t want to get into anyone’s business online, but her family is not ideal. Her sister is in her mid-20s, and sometimes Freddelle calls her “mom.” That shows you what their relationship is like. Her sister dedicated her existence to protecting Freddelle from the things that happened to her.

Freddelle wants to be a lawyer. She got her associate’s degree this year, and we went to a Brazilian restaurant to celebrate. When she left church for Tallahassee, she told me I was on the hook for Thanksgiving dinner.

God does give people success, but it’s not because they give him money. It’s because they give him themselves. This is what we learn at New Dawn Ministries. Trinity Church teaches people to withhold themselves from God and extract whatever they can from him. Maybe that’s why they don’t receive much.

I didn’t expect this to be an emotional day for me, but it is. For some reason, it’s difficult. I guess this is what my mother went through when she left me at Columbia University in 1979. She used to call and say she missed hearing my car pull up out front after school. I don’t think that was really it, though. Travis is actually getting closer to me, and I’ll see more of him, but I still feel this way.

My dad really missed out on a lot. I don’t think he’ll ever understand.

God wants us to invest in the fatherless. They will become our sons and daughters.

That Tickles

Monday, August 18th, 2014

“Full Armor” is no Exaggeration

If I said the last week had been weird, I would not be capturing the half of it.

Seems like we hear about two versions of Christianity, without much in between. In the first version, you bleed a lot, and everyone takes advantage of you, and you have to kiss their toes all day anyway, and God does absolutely nothing for you until you die. Which can’t come soon enough. In the other version, there is something wrong with you if you don’t have a different Bentley for every day of the week. You are never supposed to be sick. Everyone is supposed to offer you jobs you don’t deserve and sell you things at ridiculous prices that guarantee their own starvation. Nothing bad ever happens, unless you fail to send enough money to some guy on TBN who uses car wax on his hair. Plugs.

I repent.

In reality, here is how it works: you should live in victory. Unfortunately, “victory” implies the existence of a battle. It wouldn’t make much sense to have victory if you never have to fight. “Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivereth him out of them all. He keepeth all his bones; not one of them is broken.” We are the bones.

The enemy will attack from time to time, but it won’t amount to much. That’s the deal. Again, I must use the word “unfortunately,” because unfortunately, sometimes when an attack doesn’t amount to much, it seems really bad. The crucifixion was a horror, but from the standpoint of damage, it amounted to nothing, because it gave God the ability to forgive humanity and change human beings so they resembled him in virtue and power. It was a huge victory for our side. It was the end of the other side. It was like Adam’s fall, only for Satan.

Every so often, the enemy will get what seems like a victory. It may be because we screwed up, or it may be because God is playing rope-a-dope with a fallen angel. In the end, we will still prevail. And the vast majority of the time, the enemy won’t even appear to win. He’ll just lose.

A while back, I learned to speak defeat to my enemies and problems. It works. It really works. But I still get attacks. An attack is not a loss.

People who are toxic and unsaved still do very, very annoying, selfish, nasty things to me. But I do what God has taught me, and I hang on. Then they lose. Problems pop up, and I fight and hold my ground. Then they go away. The thing I am learning is how to stay calm and confident while this crap is going on. That’s the real treasure.

When the storm rose on the Sea of Galilee and Jesus got in the boat with the disciples, he calmed the sea, but he did that after he got in the boat. While he was walking on the water, the waves were going nuts. That’s what our lives are supposed to be like. There are enemies raging around us all the time, but they’ve already lost, so why get upset? This is normal.

God gave us the picture of the ark to help us understand this. When the rain came and amazed Noah’s neighbors (who had never seen rain), they surely ran to the ark and started beating on the hull. I guarantee you, they raised a terrible commotion. Wouldn’t you? When the water got chest-deep and the children were starting to drown, surely the self-worshiping, perverted people outside saw that things were serious. They wanted in! And I’m sure they wanted to toss Noah out.

I don’t know what God permitted them to do, but I’m sure they pulled out all the stops and did whatever they could. They probably shot arrows and hurled spears. They tried to climb up the hull. They probably tried to sink the ark out of jealousy.

So Noah and his family were inside, hearing the horrible sounds of the doomed, and listening to the rain and wind. They were safe. There was no danger at all. But it had to be a terrible experience.

God gave us the ark to show us that he takes care of his own, and that we should think about his promises, not our circumstances, and definitely not about the bad things that happen to the children of the enemy. Those things are not for us.

Jesus was killed, it’s true. But he knew it was coming, and he consented. He was not overcome. He allowed it. I don’t want to be crucified, but if God told me persecutors were going to kill me, and it happened, I could not call that a defeat. It would serve to advance some purpose God had in mind, and in the end, whoever was behind the violence would be defeated. They would see it as the worst mistake they had ever made. And I’d be in heaven, where you never run your toe into furniture, you never get a cold, you never have to think about money, you never meet a single jerk…

To get back to my life, storms keep popping up, but God shoots them down, and I’m getting used to not being bothered by them.

In June or July, I lifted something. This goes against my personal moral code, so I should have known it would have consequences. I carried a cast iron rotary table across the garage. Days later, I developed pain in my lower back. It was extremely aggravating. Sitting was slow. Standing was slow. There were things I couldn’t do.

I spoke defeat to it. I didn’t worry. I didn’t go to a doctor and get unnecessary surgery. One day I woke up well. God came through.

I have had kidney stones in the past. They were really painful, and the first one cost me over six grand, because I was stupid enough to go to the ER. Last month, I started feeling some irritation which, I knew, might be related to kidney stones. Or not. I spoke defeat to the problem, and I resorted to my favorite cure, which consists of drinking two beers in quick succession. That was hell. Let me tell you. I had to endure that several times.

I didn’t get upset. I didn’t suffer. I didn’t worry. Sometimes I forgot about the problem.

Without getting into gross details, let me say that a week or so back, I was startled to see a large kidney stone emerge. In fact, it had a little buddy with it. They just flew out. No pain. Just surprise. End of problem.

A couple of weeks back, I found that feral bees had moved into my soffit, and I decided to annihilate them. I took a ladder outside and mixed up some mortar. I put on my bee-killing rig and climbed on the roof, and I packed mortar around every bee entrance I could find. In doing this, I had to make very awkward movements that twisted my back and were generally unpleasant. I felt a pain in my side.

After this, I found that I had pain in the area where you would expect to feel the misery of a gallstone attack. I didn’t know whether I had torn muscles in my ribcage or what. My gallbladder has been jim-dandy lately, but I couldn’t say it wasn’t the source of the pain. Maybe the timing was coincidence, though.

I can’t believe I typed that last sentence.

I did not want to go to the doctor, because in America, they regard the gallbladder as a hilarious mistake created by a God who never went to medical school. They think it’s totally unnecessary, and if you have even a hint of symptoms, they will insist that you have yours removed. Of course, that’s dumb. The gallbladder is important for proper digestion, and besides, the stones actually come from the liver. People get their gallbladders removed, they still have stones, and they have the added bonus of sudden diarrhea every time they eat fat. Plus malabsorption of certain important nutrients.

I had absolutely no digestive symptoms. There are certain things that happen when your gallbladder is upset, and they didn’t happen. I didn’t know what to think.

I took various medications I knew about, and I spoke defeat to the problem, and when I asked God if my gallbladder was coming out surgically, he said “no.” Meanwhile, it hurt when I burped. It hurt when I coughed. It hurt when I bent over. Wait until you’ve gone three days without coughing. You will miss it badly. Apparently, it’s essential to good health.

Then one day I had a pain-free interval, and that told me I was not in trouble, as if God’s word hadn’t done that already. If a problem can get better temporarily, it can get better permanently.

I did some things which could be considered obnoxious and rude by the enemy. One day I was out of decent food, so I grabbed two crusty frozen tamales from the freezer, and I heated them up along with some ancient cheddar and a can of chipotle sauce from a Mexican grocery. This should kill a gallbladder patient in about 15 minutes. It would be fairly hard on a healthy goat. I ate it anyway, and nothing happened. Day before yesterday, I ate a whole pint of Ben & Jerry’s Cherry Garcia ice cream, which should have caused me to explode. Nothing happened. At all. Later I went to McDonald’s, which was almost contemptuous.

Last night while I was falling asleep I felt faith rushing through me, and I felt the weirdest sensation in my abdomen. I felt like something hard was being shoved through my innards. It wasn’t pleasant, but it wasn’t exactly painful, and I felt that it was a positive thing. I wanted to sleep, but I just laid there and waited. I didn’t get nervous. I didn’t consider going to the ER. The wind was blowing, but I was at peace.

Got up today feeling great. I’ve felt great the whole time, except for the pain, but now I feel great minus the pain.

The other day I went on Facebook, and I said, “Thank you, God, for sealing my enemies outside the ark.” That’s how I feel.

I wish I had never had any problems, but if you can’t have perpetual peace, victory will do.

You need to pray in tongues every day so your faith will be there when you need it. You need to dedicate yourself, in your heart, to advancing God’s kingdom. It should be your central goal in life, and you should use your faith to do it, in prayer and decreeing. This will cause him to direct more resources to you. After all that, you need to gather wisdom and knowledge and use it, and you need to find friends who will stand with you.

After this, you should be able to live in victory. You might have to face a leftist firing squad some day, as many Christians have, but things like that happen to defeated people, too, and before they happen, those people live in cringing submission.

This is worth it. Believe me.

Am I provoking Satan by saying this stuff? Surely I must be. But he was provoked already. He was provoked before I was born. Appeasing him is not possible. The Bible says we will bruise his head, not that we will keep giving him land until he agrees to stop shooting rockets. He is not our friend, and he never will be.

I would rather provoke him than his invincible enemy.

Hope this stuff is of value to you. Keep moving forward. There is no other way to go.

I haven’t gotten around to discussing the last week, but I will. Probably.

Your Family is Perfectly Functional

Wednesday, August 13th, 2014

You Just Don’t Know Who They Are

Something I posted somewhere else:

Thinking about the fatherless today.

It is not politically correct to say it, but we have entire neighborhoods full of fatherless children and adults. Sometimes the fathers and mothers aren’t around, and sometimes they’re present, but their sons and daughters are spiritual and emotional orphans, because the parents have chosen not to give them the help they need.

Prosperity preachers go to these places and promise money from God; something the people think they need very badly. They give out of their poverty, and they become more poor, and the preachers take the money and spend it on jets and hair plugs and vacations on Maui.

God will help you with material needs, but what he wants is to be your father. He wants to repair your heart and show you there is someone you can count on. He will do what your human parents couldn’t or wouldn’t do.

The thieves go in and tarnish his name, making promises God doesn’t keep, because he was never in them to begin with. And instead of learning to trust God, people come to believe he doesn’t care, or even that he hates them.

The people who remain faithful to God are so brainwashed, they will attack you for unmasking the very individuals who steal their money and their faith. They say, “Touch not mine anointed.”

No one is anointed to steal money and destroy faith.

I have a young friend who got in some financial trouble. It was his own fault. But it was not something that couldn’t be fixed.

He got a full college scholarship this year. I was very excited about that. For a long time, I’ve been telling him he needs to get away from his “community,” and I knew this move would change his entire view of the world.

You always hear black leaders shaming people over the things they owe “the community.” They’re not supposed to shop at white businesses. They’re never supposed to move to better areas. They have to vote for Democrats, to keep the handouts flowing. They can’t have a single original thought, because “the community” depends on them.

I told my friend to forget his community. It wasn’t doing anything for him, apart from providing a terrible influence. I said that if he cared about his community, he should leave, get rich, and go back and teach kids on the weekends.

The scholarship looked like a way out. But this thing he did came back to haunt him, just when he needed to be thinking about school.

He went to a family reunion. He talked to relatives about his problem. Everyone was sympathetic. But everyone said they “couldn’t” help. Couldn’t offer a little cash. Couldn’t pawn something of value and let him repay them. Couldn’t get a cash advance on a credit card.


I know people have money problems, but among them, they should have been able to come up with a small four-figure sum. Don’t tell me none of them have credit cards or homes they can borrow on.

In the end, he had to get help from people who are not even related to him. Now things are much better. He still has some debt to repay, but his life isn’t ruined.

He is fatherless. He has parents, but when he needs help, they come up dry.

In this world, most of us are fatherless. It’s not just the poor. It isn’t just black people. I’ve known a lot of fatherless kids whose parents had money. I was one of them.

Charismatics are trying to get the wrong things out of God. TBN should be called “GSN.” “The God Shopping Network.” You want this blessing? Send this amount as an offering. You want a bigger blessing? We have plenty. Send a bigger offering. Put it on a credit card. If you can’t afford it, don’t worry. God will magically provide the money, because he’s glad you bought some greedy white-trash imbecile a new tire for his Gulfstream jet. That’s what he thinks about all day. “Is there no one who will come forward to buy my prophet one more Mercedes?”

What did your parents fail to give you? What do your friends and relatives fail to give you? Love? Appreciation? Encouragement? Direction? Help in times of need? Maybe a little praise? God knows people have let you down. And it wouldn’t be a problem, if preachers would stop preventing him from helping you.

He wants to come to you and let you feel his love. He wants to heal you of worry and dark expectations. He wants to take away your diseases and the negative traits you have developed in response to the world’s inadequacies. He wants to remove the things that make you sick of yourself. Does he really need a 747 to do that? Paul did more good than all the TV preachers in history. On foot.

If we came to God looking for parenting in the first place, we would not find him so disappointing. We come to him looking for things that are very low on his list of priorities. Things that are inconsequential compared to inner healing and growth. Money has perverted the teaching we receive, and because of our own iniquity, we make ourselves the accomplices and defenders of those who swindle us. We want to believe them.

We should be looking for the right things, and we should be providing them to others. God sets us in new families, with or without blood relation, and we are supposed to fill the needs our biological relations and pre-Christian friends failed to fill. It’s not that hard to provide other people with a little help. Very often, a small sacrifice, even a few words, can relieve a brother or sister of a tremendous amount of suffering. We ought to recognize our new relations and treat them as family.

God is not going to give you a dime for giving money to Kenneth Copeland, so stop waiting for a reward and ask for God to return the money as though it had been stolen. But God does promise a reward for helping the poor. Read Psalm 41. Don’t give stupidly. Don’t enable bums and addicts. But sometimes God will show you someone you should help. It’s not an attack from the devil. It’s one of the things you were put here to do, and God will back you up.

I forgive the people who failed me and the people who deliberately wronged me. I will not look for revenge by carnal means, and I will not carry hate in my heart. But I know they were not my real family, so I will keep my eyes open for their replacements.

Scamming God

Friday, August 8th, 2014

Username and Password Not Recognized

In the Bible, Jesus told us that God would do anything we asked in his name. As a result, Christians say “in the name of Jesus” after asking for things. Very often, God pays no attention. What’s the problem?

There are a lot of ways to go at this issue. I could point out that you have to read the WHOLE Bible and apply each verse consistently with the rest of the book. The Bible says that God does what we ask, if it comports with his will. Obviously, if you combine that with the bit about the name of Jesus, you see that God won’t necessarily do things just because the name is invoked.

But there is a common sense explanation which may be easier to comprehend.

When Jesus said for us to speak in his name, he didn’t just mean we should use his name for clout. He meant we should speak in order to achieve his goals, as though we were him.

Here is something that may make it clearer. Imagine you work for the IRS. Instead of being careful with taxpayers’ money, you have conferences in Las Vegas. You pose sitting in a hotel bath tub with a glass of expensive wine in your hand, showing off the things you paid for with other people’s wages. Then the taxpayers find out. What are they going to do? Are they going to congratulate you and give you a bonus? No. They’re going to try to get you fired, because you’re an idiot.

Why would they be displeased? Because you weren’t really acting in their name. You weren’t serving them. You were serving yourself, to the detriment of their agenda.

Imagine you work for Shell Oil. You have an expense account. They send you to New York to talk about buying another company. While you’re there, you use the expense account to pay for a nice hotel, good food, transportation, ten $5000 hookers, a kilo of cocaine, and a Ferrari Enzo.

How will your boss at Shell feel about that?

What if you’re in New York, and before you send for the hookers, you call your boss and ask him to clear it in advance, because it’s company business? Do you think he’ll go for it? On the other hand, what if you close a deal for Shell, and you ask them for five billion dollars to pay what Shell agreed to give the other party? No problem. It’s yours.

When we accept salvation, we claim we give our hearts to Jesus. Usually, we’re lying. We are afraid of hell. We’re tired of being defeated in life. We want help. And after that, we want God to take care of us and make sure our live are pleasant, while we do whatever we think is right in our own eyes.

Most of us don’t buy into the mission. In fact, we use salvation as a tool to avoid buying in. We do what we want, and we ask God to forgive us over and over. We do what we want, knowing it’s wrong, INTENDING to ask for forgiveness when it’s over.

Why would God continue backing you? Why would he continue funding your expense account, if you do nothing worthwhile with it?

I used to feel that the purpose of Christianity was to save us from hell and make life easier. That was crazy.

“In the name of Jesus” means “with the authority of Jesus, for the purpose of doing his will, as revealed by the Holy Spirit.” If you came up with your own plan, and you say “in the name of Jesus,” you’re just using the name as a magic word to force God to be your slave. That doesn’t work.

There are a number of plateaus in the Christian life. First, you accept salvation. Then you can receive the baptism with the Spirit. Then you can choose to pursue and live by the gifts and the fruit of the Spirit. Then, if you want to go farther, you can dedicate your existence to serving God. With every plateau, your power and authority will increase. You can’t expect a lot if you won’t go to the next level.

You can say something in the name of Jesus without mentioning his name, and you can use his name while doing something he is not involved in. There are people who ask God to help them beat the slot machines, in the name of Jesus. You really can’t expect him to give you faith for that.

Strong faith comes from God, not from you. The more you identify with God’s purposes, the more faith you will have. Power comes from faith. It’s the currency of the supernatural realm. Serve God, and he will make you rich. The faith you generate on your own has some power, but it’s not the real thing.

We are supposed to be kings, priests, heirs, and children. All the power of the realm is ours, but we are supposed to serve. Because we don’t serve, the power doesn’t flow, and our enemies trample us every day. The vast majority of us live in defeat. We don’t demand and decree. We beg for alms, and we use the name of Jesus. Then when God grants our requests, we think it’s because of the name, but in reality, it’s just pity.

We beg for alms in our own kingdom, because we reject the obligations of royalty.

The name of Jesus is powerful, when you know why you’re using it. Otherwise, you’re just insulting God.

If you change your heart and think of yourself as a being created for the sole purpose of expanding God’s kingdom and fighting his enemies, God will increase your faith, and you will have authority. Your prayers won’t fall to earth, and neither will your curses. I say this as a witness.

If you’re happy begging, continue. Let yourself down. Let your kids down. Let your wife down. But while you live in defeat, don’t pretend things aren’t as they should be. You’re getting exactly what you pay for, except that it’s tempered by God’s mercy.

The Seas are Troubled; the Boat is Stable

Wednesday, July 30th, 2014

Watch the Show and Relax

I got some more revelation regarding flooding and the Sea of Galilee, so I’ll pass it on.

I don’t think any Spirit-filled Christian will be surprised to hear that the Sea of Galilee symbolizes the earth. We all know that. But more specifically, it symbolizes the hidden nature of the earth: a place created by, and controlled by, words, or if you look at it differently, voices. A word has power when it’s spoken, not when it sits hidden in a book, so it’s more or less equivalent to equate words and voices in the context of the supernatural.

The world is full of voices that are useless and counterproductive. Any voice that doesn’t serve God is evil. It may not be intended for evil, but anything that doesn’t advance God’s agenda is evil. There is nothing neutral.

Jesus appeared to the disciples–I never know whether I should capitalize that word–when they were in a boat on the Sea of Galilee. The waves were high, and the disciples were afraid. This symbolizes the situation people find themselves in when they are at the mercy of the voices that run the world. They’re like little boats in high seas. They can’t do much to protect themselves or steer a course. Paul used this metaphor to describe people who were blown off course by bad doctrine.

Jesus walked on the water while it was still in turmoil. What does that mean? It shows that a person who is walking in God’s authority is above the power of evil voices. Circumstances are not relevant. They can’t touch a person who is in God’s will, unless God chooses to let them do so. When Jesus was crucified, it was by his own consent, and he kept quiet, because his words had the power to prevent it.

The waves actually supported Jesus. Words that are intended for evil will advance God’s plans, and they will help the Spirit-led. God will take the efforts of the damned and make use of them. The effect of this is to turn his enemies into his slaves retroactively. They work hard to defeat God, and when it’s over, they find out that during the time when they thought they were fighting God, they were actually serving him. The Romans thought they were killing Jesus, but in reality, they increased his power and destroyed Satan.

When Jesus entered the boat, the waves died down, and there was peace. When God is with people (“Emanuel” means “God with us”), he preserves them and lifts them above the seas of evil. The ark symbolized this type of deliverance. The disciples’ boat was a picture of the ark, which was a picture of Jesus overcoming the world and delivering his chosen.

I was right to think that using the name of Jesus was like Peter looking to Jesus when walking on the water. That was revelation. We should be flooding the earth all the time, because our flood is stronger than the enemy’s flood. He that is in us is stronger than he that is in the earth. If we don’t use our weapons, we shouldn’t expect things to go well. God gave us certain tools, and we can’t force him to adopt a different plan. We can do things his way, or we can lose.

The Bible says we will condemn every voice that rises up against us, IF we are the servants of the Lord. You can’t condemn by sitting around hoping, or by begging God to do things for you. Condemnation means speaking words against your enemies. It’s an action. Why would we expect to win, if we don’t act?

I think we have probably lost a lot of scripture. Satan loves destroying it. The Nazis burned Torah scrolls. The Catholics prohibited common people from owning Bibles.
Satan is constantly working to erase history. God forbade the Jews to cremate their dead because he knew Satan would tell people they had no archaeological record. God wanted there to be evidence. Satan is behind the Holocaust deniers today; thank God we have film of the camps.

The early church probably produced clearer scriptures than the ones we possess. God hid a lot of things in the remaining books. and Satan is too stupid to understand the code. Now the Spirit-led can read what remains and pull all sorts of instruction and confirmation from it. I believe the stories about the Sea of Galilee are examples of encoded mysteries. When God reveals these things through us, he is laughing at Satan. He is showing that Satan can’t accomplish the simplest of tasks.

God loves the flood metaphor. He used a flood to kill the Egyptian army. It stood up around the Hebrews, as if to honor them, and then it humiliated and overwhelmed the Egyptians. God calls his work inside us “living water.” Over time, it drowns the useless things inside us and waters the good things.

Christians who know God and listen to him are going to get more powerful, and because of that, rage will increase. Don’t be surprised by it. Don’t be rattled. It just means our enemies have been forced to see their impotence. Rejoice in it and don’t appease or retreat. Sometimes they’ll whimper and cry. Don’t pity them or feel bad about prevailing. They can change and join the right side whenever they want. As long as they’re not in the boat, they’re SUPPOSED to suffer. It will drive them to repent, and if not, then they deserve their misery. The alternative is for us to ingest it. Forget that.

When you see these things happening, don’t forget that you were warned, and don’t consider it a negative sign. It is the inevitable result of rebellion and stubbornness in the world. It doesn’t mean things aren’t going right for us. We were not created to be loved by the crooked, filthy world. We were created to conquer it.

I hope this is useful to you. It has certainly been helpful to me.

Get Your Water Wings

Monday, July 28th, 2014

The Air of Heaven is Just a Few Inches Above Your Head

A few years back, at Trinity Church, I was attending a prayer service, and I found myself saying, “Unleash the flood,” over and over. I have learned that when I’m in the Spirit, and I find I have something unexpected to repeat, it’s a word from God.

I wasn’t immediately sure what I was talking about, but then I realized God was referring to prayer in tongues. The church has discouraged it for almost two centuries, because Satan runs the church, and he hates it. To win the battles that are coming, we will have to be complete Christians, and that means prayer in tongues. It will put God’s faith in us, not to mention his other good qualities. It will put his guidance in us. It will cause us to to what he wants, using his power, instead of what we think is right.

Over the last few weeks, I have learned that repeating “in the name of Jesus” when praying or exercising authority can be very powerful. We are taught to ask for stuff and then say “in the name of Jesus,” as if it were a magical phrase that forces God to do what we want. Then we go about our business and don’t really expect anything to happen. And saying something more than once seems bad to us, as if it’s a confession that we lack faith.

In reality, repetition is essential. Yes, Jesus told us to avoid repetition, but he was talking about “VAIN repetition.” You shouldn’t take a prayer someone else wrote 300 years ago and repeat it without meaning or understanding it, just because a priest told you to. We are supposed to TALK TO God. Imagine how you would feel if your son came up to you when he had a problem and he did nothing but repeat an irrelevant prayer a hundred times. How productive would that be? Not very. But there are times when repetition is important. Even God repeats himself. There are examples of Jesus saying things several times.

The word “meditation” refers to repetition. Sometimes you can take a passage of scripture and repeat it thirty times and get a useful revelation out of it. This is why God has instructed us to meditate on his word.

“God’s word” doesn’t just mean the Bible. It means anything he says. If he gives you a word, you should repeat it many times and reflect on it. If “God’s word” only meant the Bible, effectively, God would be muzzled. He would never be allowed to say anything else, because it would not be God’s word. Think how silly that is.

I am able to perceive the supernatural, at least in some regards. One thing I can perceive is supernatural faith moving inside me. This is not my effort, trying to believe. That doesn’t work. It’s the Holy Spirit inside me, believing for me. This is why the Bible says that even faith is “of God.”

I found that sometimes I didn’t feel faith when I used the name of Jesus. I would say, “God, will you please do x, in the name of Jesus,” and nothing would happen. I eventually found that the faith would come if I said, “in the name of Jesus” more than once. And if I said it ten or twenty times, the faith became so strong, it became hard for me to speak. Faith is a substance that comes out through the mouth, and it’s hard to use the mouth for two things at once.

What does this have to do with flooding?

The other day, I saw a parallel between what I was doing and what Peter did when he walked on water. People always say Jesus walked on water. Why is it that we don’t talk much about Peter walking on water? What he did was extremely important, because it showed that we can become like Jesus. We shouldn’t ignore it. He didn’t do it perfectly, but come on. What would happen if you took three steps on water and then sank? You would still be on every news show on the planet. It was a big deal.

When Peter started to sink, he looked at Jesus, and he rose. He was lifted on top of the water, and instead of drowning him, it served him. Like a footstool.

Repeating the name of Jesus works the same way.

There is faith all around us. Unfortunately, most of it is Satanic. We have faith in Satan as the “all-powerful” ruler of this world, even though he’s just a failed angel who will eventually be the lowest, most humiliated creature in existence. We have faith in the power of disease; we believe it won’t go away when we pray. We have faith in circumstances; we believe our problems are so powerful, God can’t fix them. Many of us have faith that God doesn’t exist.

Where does this faith come from? It comes from words. In the Bible, water symbolizes voices and words. All around us, there are people and spirits (and even our own minds) speaking anti-God faith to us. We hear it around the clock. And people curse us and send demons after us, using words. People condemn us. They lie about us. It never stops. Satan and the other agents of negative faith speak constantly, repeating and repeating and repeating. And as Goebbels noted, repetition makes things seem true. It gives them power.

Satan repeats himself all day. He never shuts up. He gets people to do his repeating for him. He gets his messages onto CDs and DVDs so machines repeat them.

How, then, did we miss the importance of repeating God’s truth?

There is symmetry in the supernatural. Every weapon Satan uses was stolen from God. Satan repeats because we are supposed to repeat in order to defeat him.

We are surrounded by a flood of stupid voices. In the Bible, the sea (actually a lake) of Galilee symbolizes this flood-filled world. Just as God flooded the world to kill the seed of the angels, Satan floods the world to drown the Spirit-led.

In the present, Satan has a flood, and God has a counter-flood, but God’s flood has been dammed up by ignorance and false teaching (part of Satan’s flood). When God said, “Unleash the flood,” he was talking about pouring his flood out through the mouths of his children.

Last night, God gave me this word: “I am walking on the flood.”

When I heard that, I understood the connection between Peter and what I was doing. If I pour out God’s flood, I will walk on Satan’s flood. Instead of drowning me, Satan will actually support and help me, through the very works he does to destroy me. He will be my servant and my footstool, and so will his children.

The enemy and his works will drown, and I will float on the flood and profit from it. That which was meant to kill me will kill my enemies and exalt me.

You need to pray in tongues every day, and the amount you pray makes a difference. Remember Goebbels. What works for evil also works for good. Speaking the truth many times is much better than speaking it rarely. You also need to repeat God’s word. If you don’t hear from God yet, repeat scripture. Repeat whatever you know of God’s word. Until you can speak in tongues, speak with your own understanding.

Sometimes when you pray and decree, you will not feel faith. That’s because something is rising up to fight it. When this happens, repeat “in the name of Jesus.” Your faith will increase. This is “waiting on the Lord.” God has promised us that if we wait on him, he will strengthen our hearts. See the Psalms.

When you repeat truth, you will rise above the flood of lies, and God’s power will move. Try it. But make sure you have faith, because without faith, it won’t work. Scripture tells us how to get faith: pray in tongues.

Amazing things are happening in my life and in my character. I am not Jesus. I have plenty of room for improvement. But I am a new person these days, and it did not happen because I made an effort. It’s all God’s supernatural work. And it’s going to continue. I’m going to improve. God wants this for you, too. He didn’t send me to replace Jesus singlehandedly. I am not that important. This is for every child of God.

Walk if You Want; I’ll Ride

Friday, July 11th, 2014

Either the Bible is True or it Isn’t

Something I wrote today:

Last week, I got a word from God, and it was simply this: “I’m going to be all right.”

A few years back I took Jesus at his word and pretty much gave up planning for my future. I decided to wait for him. I knew God was faithful, but worry still came to me, and other people, thinking they were being helpful, fanned the flames.

Remembering the many times God had shown me he would not drop me, I refused to be moved, but my sense of security was not perfect. The word God sent me helped me become stable.

Because I trusted, my future is planned, and it’s not a foolish plan from the mind of man. Family, money, health, activities…it’s all laid out before me like a highway, waiting for me to walk forward and possess it.

The Jews have a saying: “Man plans; God laughs.” I will not let unbelief cause me build a rickety, crooked track for my life.