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Archive for the ‘God’ Category

My Confession: Augustine is Boring

Monday, September 26th, 2016

Like a Dental Cleaning That Never Ends

I’m not quite ready to get moving today, so here I am, procrastinating.

I’m still slogging through Augustine’s Confessions. Some of it is fairly good. Most of it is tedious.

I’m somewhere around page 150, and Augustine has finally gotten to the point where he appears to be about to convert. He tells the story of a pagan sage named Victorinus. This man came around after talking to Ambrose the bishop or whatever of Milan. He then decided to proclaim his conversion publicly. Ambrose offered him the option of proclaiming it privately, which seems a little stupid. Victorinus declined.

Back in Augustine’s day, proclaiming yourself a Christian could have repercussions. It seems that Christians were tolerated fairly well when Victorinus came out, but the church still permitted former pagans to announce their conversions privately, so clearly, there were dangers. Call me crazy, but if you come out in a locked room in front of a few old men, I believe you’ve done pretty much the opposite of coming out. Victorinus seems to have agreed.

Augustine felt like a coward, because he didn’t have the guts to convert. At the point where I stopped reading today, he said he was trying to man up and join the church, but he was having trouble making himself do it.

He says: “The mind commands the body and is instantly obeyed. The mind commands itself and meets resistance.”

Here is his problem: he believes willpower is the answer. That’s pride. No one but God has ever done the right thing consistently with willpower. That’s not how Christianity works. If you could make yourself do right without God’s help, you would have the right to stand in front of God and tell him you didn’t need him.

Old-school Christians adore pride. They can’t get enough of self-righteousness. Work hard! Struggle! Don’t ask God to do what you should do for yourself! It’s all lies and poison, but we swallow it because we know we’re bad, and we want to turn around and do things for God.

The Bible makes it clear that we are not required to be strong without help. One of the fruit of the Holy Spirit is self-control. If it’s a fruit of the Holy Spirit, why would you expect to manifest it without him?

The more you pray in tongues, the more faith and authority you’ll have. Sooner or later, you will start to develop the ability to command your flesh and your mind. Jesus even commanded his spirit. He sent it to God when he died: “Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit.”

I have found this ability rising up in me, and it’s a wonderful thing. I find I can command my mind to stop thinking about things I don’t want to think about. This is impossible for people who don’t have God’s help. If you don’t believe me, take the challenge Dostoevsky use to give people: sit still and try not to think of a big white bear.

One of the big problems with lust is that once thoughts of sex get into a man’s mind, they stick around until he obeys. When you develop the ability to command your mind, that problem goes away. You can command your mind to stop thinking about sex. You can command it not to be angry. You can command it not to worry.

Augustine didn’t know this, because by the time he was born, the church had already abandoned the Holy Spirit. They had given up the powerful knowledge that gave the apostles victory, so they were about like the Jews who lived between the prophets and Jesus.

The human body is a house, and even if you don’t choose a side, spirits will fill it. You will be led by spirits. If you’re not led by the Holy Spirit, you will be led by other spirits. They will sit on little thrones you gave them and rule you. The purpose of the baptism with the Holy Spirit is to deport these illegal aliens and put God back on the throne.

The keys to all power lie in the supernatural realm. If you keep relying on your natural strength, you will never find the control panel that gives you power over your life.

The devil hates salvation, but he really REALLY hates the truth I’m sharing with you. Most Christians who are saved have virtually no authority or victory in this life. They’re like soldiers without radios, who carry whistles instead of guns. Spirits that oppose God walk through them unseen and unhindered, just as Jesus walked through the crowd of Nazarenes who wanted to murder him.

They say a pistol is just a weapon you use to fight your way to a rifle; a rifle is a much more effective weapon. The strength you have in your own right is a tool you use to get to the power of the Holy Spirit. Most Christians don’t realize this, so they receive salvation and then live in weakness and defeat.

The gospel of pride sounds righteous. That’s why it’s so easy to fool people with it. What sounds better? Lying back and letting God do things for you, or getting up and working your rear end off to prove you’re grateful? To most people, the second option is clearly the righteous choice, but it’s the opposite of what the New Testament teaches.

In the Revelation, John saw the elders in heaven throwing their crowns at the feet of Jesus. Why? Because he was the one who had earned the crowns. They were just his heirs. They received what he built.

The Catholic church has always been very big on pride. Catholics have beaten themselves with clubs. They have made pilgrimages over stones on their knees. One “saint” cut her own eyes out. Catholics have always given clerics fancy costumes and big hats. They worship people they call “saints.” The rest of us…we are lesser beings. It’s okay if we never dedicate ourselves to God, because we’re just riff-raff. We will sit in the cheap seats in heaven.

The Baptists are the same way. So are most churches. “If you’re not willing to earn God’s help, get out of the church!” “God helps those who help themselves!” It’s completely perverse. God is burdened with treasures he wants to give us, and we reject them so we can present him with our mud pies and then demand praise and rewards.

It’s nice to read that ancient Christians shared certain types of experiences with us, but overall, Augustine is a stumbling block. He is stuck in the pride of the mind, just like the Jews who sit around studying the Talmud all day. God is for everyone; not just the brilliant, and not just the strong-willed.

When you try to lift yourself up, you bring strange fire to the altar. God rejects it.

I don’t know when I’m going to be freed from this book, but I look forward to it. I’m glad to know Christians don’t have to make themselves miserable reading stuffy volumes like Confessions in order to get to know God.

I hope Dante’s Inferno is more entertaining. It will be loaded with errors, but maybe there will at least be an amusing story.

“Culture” and “Infection” Mean Nearly the Same Thing

Thursday, September 22nd, 2016

Charlotte Sacrificed on the Altar of Pride

What’s happening in Charlotte is remarkable, but it’s not surprising. I expect things like this to happen more and more often, in Obama’s stuck-in-1968 America. I expect black people to riot over and over, regardless of the consequences or the slenderness of the rationale.

It’s just how things work these days. It’s now normal.

We should all take note of the facts in the Charlotte shooting.

1. The black man police shot was holding a pistol, which he refused to drop.

2. The officer who shot him is black.

3. The dead man’s brother blamed white people, saying we are all “f______ devils.”

4. The BLM crowd is rioting and targeting white people.

None of it makes any sense. Sometimes the police have to shoot people, and this was one of those times. The shooting was completely justified, and the dead man is 100% responsible for what happened to him. The cop is completely innocent. No one should be protesting.

If people are determined to protest, they should be angry at the police, not white people. This was a black-on-black shooting. White people were not featured players.

It’s as though white people and black people are married, and white people are the husband. Women tend to blame their husbands for all of their problems. It’s raining, so go and nag the husband. A black cop shot a black man in self-defense, so go and protest the existence of the white race.

Black people in America are self-destructing. The people who are rioting and promoting racism think they’re hurting whites, but they’re actually hurting themselves and everyone who looks like them. They’re driving businesses out of their areas. They’re making themselves unemployable. They’re driving their own property values down. They’re making it harder for black people to assimilate and share in the blessings this country offers.

When those problems manifest, that will be the fault of white people, too.

You can’t succeed if you insist on blaming others all the time. In order to fix a problem you caused, you have to take responsibility for it. What’s happening in black America right now is highly erosive. Black people are discouraging each other from taking the only attitude that will lift them up.

It’s bizarre, how BLM keeps choosing the wrong battles. Tamir Rice was killed by police in Cleveland, and it was murder, but the rioters didn’t get very excited there. Michael Brown was a vicious criminal who was killed in self-defense, but he became the face of the St. Louis riots. Black people in America are like Jews; as a group, they make very bad choices.

It’s frustrating for black people who see through the craziness. I know, because I talk to them and I see what they say online. They live inside gauntlets, where speaking their minds can lead to quick repercussions.

Suddenly, white racism is on the rise. There have always been nuts out there with far-out hateful views, but these days they are much more common. I keep seeing Internet comments containing words like “monkeys” and “animals.”

As a white man, I’m not worried about myself or other white people. Personally, I have God’s protection. Other white people are protected by superior numbers, superior wealth, superior power, and geographical separation. Most of us don’t have to spend a lot of time in areas where we will be subject to racist violence. There is no possibility that black people will rise up and destroy us; the worst possible outcome is that more of us will be subjected to violence. We will absorb it and survive.

We will prevail, but that’s not a good outcome, because we will live in a country where there is more hatred than ever.

Here’s the real problem: people can’t identify races correctly. They think the races are black, white, yellow, and red. That’s not how it works. There are only two real races: children of God and children of Satan. As long as we persist in identifying with our biological races, we will have unnecessary conflict and defeat.

In this country, black people have been taught that racism is okay. They’ve been taught to stick together against the non-black enemy. That won’t work, any more than becoming a skinhead will work for a white person. We have to start dropping our polluted, worldly cultures and unite in the culture of God.

I know black Christians, and they have a lot of issues with the people they know. They have friends and relatives with a lot of negative attitudes and behaviors. They struggle, because they want to improve themselves, but they will be called race traitors if they don’t toe the line. They are afraid of social isolation and guilt. These things hold them prisoner and pull them back into counterproductive habits.

People who are related biologically are united by a few strands of DNA. People who belong to God’s family can only be united by the Holy Spirit. You have to receive the baptism with the Holy Spirit. You have to pray in tongues so he can change you and help you to be aligned with other Spirit-led believers. Christians don’t teach these things; we’re too busy focusing on stupid, useless notions like hard work, the false prosperity gospel, positive thinking, and social justice. Those things don’t come from God. They are distractions that keep us divided.

It always makes me groan when a Christian gives his opinion about God, as if it matters. Where opinions exist, disunity exists. We are not supposed to have opinions. We are supposed to hear from God and adopt his positions, which are correct. Two Spirit-led Christians can’t have a serious, prolonged disagreement. The Holy Spirit will always lead us to the same conclusions, if we can hear him.

A lot of the lawless people burning buildings and attacking people think they’re Christians. So do a lot of the disgraceful characters posting racist comments about black people. In reality, they’re all in rebellion. They are disconnected from God.

I disavow my culture. I started some time ago. I used to be proud of my Southern heritage, and I was proud to be from Eastern Kentucky. I was insane. Eastern Kentucky is a white ghetto with trees. The culture is backward and unsuccessful. There are also some problems with Southern culture, and it’s important for me to reject them. Your culture has problems, too. Rejecting them isn’t disloyalty. It’s maturity and humility. It’s the way to break your chains.

No one on TV will speak honestly about what’s happening right now. They will coddle black people, and they will look for ways the government to fix things. They will issue ridiculous, empty cries for unity. I’m telling the truth. Riots are not protests. White people are not the problem. Insulting black people is not going to do anything to improve the situation. The Holy Spirit is the only way out, and that way out is only for individuals, not communities or ethnic groups.

Twenty years from now, if God hasn’t returned, black people will still be poor, and their neighborhoods will still be full of crime and poverty. Rioting will probably increase. That’s just reality. But individuals can rise out of that, with God’s help. We should focus on what we can get, not what we wish we could have.

It’s strange how the first black president presided over this predicament and even contributed to it. What a pitiable legacy.

Whatever your culture is, get over it. If you’re a believer, your race is Christian, and your hometown is heaven. Get in touch with the mayor, and he will tell you what to do.

Or keep floundering and enjoy your pride. Nobody can make you help yourself.

Pack Your Bags

Monday, September 19th, 2016

Hope for an Early Flight

I guess it’s weird to post two blog entries a few minutes apart, but I felt like I had something else to say.

One of the Youtube people I watch is convinced that Christians will be here during the Tribulation. I felt I should add my two cents. I do not believe Christians who are walking by faith will be here.

I will give you my reasons.

God loves to foreshadow what he does. He works in repetitive patterns, so people who have understanding given by the Holy Spirit will understand the way the universe works, and so they will not be taken by surprise. In the past, he has foreshadowed the Rapture and Tribulation, and he has indicated an intention to remove Christians from the earth before things get really bad.

Example 1: the flood.

The world became corrupted before the flood. Angels reproduced with women and gave rise to beings which were superior to human beings. They were bigger and stronger. They were presumably smarter and more talented. They polluted the earth with angel worship, and they probably received worship, themselves. They polluted our DNA and our morals.

People got so filthy, they wrote marriage contracts between human beings and animals. It sounds a lot like what’s happening today. We are already seeing incestuous marriages between parents and children. It has happened at least once; look it up.

God decided to purify the earth, just as he will purify it during the Tribulation. He drowned everyone except for eight people, and seven of those eight only survived because they were close to Noah.

They were removed from the earth, in a boat that floated above the waves. They were not drowned. They were preserved so they could repopulate the planet and restore the worship of God.

Did they suffer at the hands of the people who later drowned? Surely they must have. There had to be persecution. The world was disgusting. People hated God, and here was Noah, honoring God by building a boat in the desert, on a planet where it had never rained. If the wicked didn’t insult and abuse Noah and his family, it would be a major deviation from the general pattern of life on earth.

Surely, the good were mistreated, but they were not here when the real misery started. They were here while halfbreeds and angels were inflicting suffering, but they weren’t here when suffering started pouring down from God.

Another example: Sodom and Gomorrah.

Lot lived near Sodom, which was near Gomorrah. The people in these cities were cruel and sexually perverted. They were heavily into homosexuality, and not the gentle kind. God agreed to spare the cities if five decent people could be found, but those people could not be found. God sent angels to Lot, and the gay men of Sodom tried to rape them.

That bit about five people is important. If God would spare Sodom and Gomorrah for five people, why would he rain fire on the entire earth while millions of Spirit-led Christians still lived there?

God told Lot to get his family out before the destruction began. He didn’t burn the cities until Lot was safely on his way to a new home.

Third example: the parting of the Red Sea.

God told the Hebrews to flee Egypt. He led them to the edge of the Red Sea, and the Egyptian army chased them, intending to kill them. God opened the water, waited for the Hebrews to cross (with dry shoes), and then he closed the water on the Egyptians. He didn’t close the water on everyone and pick a few Hebrews out of it.

The pattern is very clear, and it would be out of character for God to deviate from it during the Tribulation.

The Tribulation can’t come while Christians are here in large numbers, because we pray all the time. We are the salt of the earth; our presence preserves it. God isn’t going to pour fire on the earth while millions of us are praying for him to have mercy on us and our neighbors. We have to be removed first; we would be a hindrance.

Does this mean everything is rosy for Christians? Sadly, no.

The Tribulation will be a time when God himself torments humanity. It will be worse than anything that has ever happened. But it won’t be the only suffering that will take place before Jesus comes. The ungodly will rain misery on Christians before the Tribulation begins. It’s already here. Gays are destroying Christian careers and businesses. We are absorbing huge numbers of illegal immigrants who will eventually vote for candidates belonging to the party that fights God the most. The strongholds of God are breaking down, and we are not protected the way we used to be.

It’s going to get worse. Many of us will be killed, tortured, imprisoned, robbed, and raped. But we will not be here when the real agony starts.

The things that will happen before the Tribulation will be bad enough. The weaker you are as a Christian, the worse it will be for you.

God refused to flood the world until Methuselah was safe with him. He refused to burn Sodom until Lot was safe. There is a limit to what he will do to people while his children are among them.

The good news: you may not be here when God burns the world. The bad news: you may be here to be tortured and killed. And it appears that bad things are going to happen to Israel; God will have to step in to prevent complete destruction.

Prepare, prepare, prepare. Don’t find yourself watching porn and doing lines of coke when the world really turns against you. A lot of Christians are storing food and guns. Great, but you should put prayer and repentance first. Your primary fortress is you.

Hope this is helpful.

Grassroots Christianity Returns

Monday, September 19th, 2016

Get That Stupid Cat off my Screen

What is Youtube for? It’s for posting boring videos of your cat. We all know this. Or it’s about posting clickbait in order to make money.

Those are clearly the main purposes of Youtube, but there is also a lot of useful content. You can study many, many subjects using Youtube. You can learn about almost any hobby. On top of all that, and most exciting: people are using Youtube to talk about God.

Christian Youtube videos didn’t make much of an impression on me until week before last. I knew there were bootleg videos of greedy prosperity preachers, and a few ambitious preachers put their own videos up, simply because not every preacher has a TV network that will accommodate him. The videos I’ve mentioned didn’t have a huge impact on me, but last week I started watching videos by random individuals, in which they gave their testimony and taught what God had shared with them.

That’s pretty neat.

These people aren’t pushing the prosperity lie. They don’t charge money. They don’t sell DVD’s. They’re not trying to turn God into a career. They have very little to gain, and if their employers catch them, they have a lot to lose. Many of them are more credible than the narcissists we see on TV.

A surprising number of people are posting videos about prophetic dreams and so on. There are a ton of videos warning Christians about Obama’s anti-God tendencies. A lot of the videos were made relatively recently. Here’s refreshing news: many of these videos were made by black people.

One of the frustrations I’ve endured while attending church in South Florida is dealing with liberal charismatic Christians. They don’t pray much, so they don’t get much guidance from God. As a result, they tend to hold onto the poisonous political beliefs of their parents and friends. They vote for abortion, homosexuality, and the persecution of the church. They see nothing wrong with it, because they have a supernatural blindness. They’re too proud to listen to correction from people who know better. This is a very big problem among blacks and Puerto Ricans, who traditionally hate Republicans.

It’s great to turn on Youtube and see that for some, the blue ice is melting.

I found a lady named Beverly Moore. I don’t know much about her. She sits at her laptop and shares dreams, and she offers correction to other women. She talks too slow, so her videos are longer than they need to be, but other than that, they’re a pleasure to watch. They prove not everyone is crazy.

She posted an interesting video criticizing Obama. She said she had voted for the man twice, which was upsetting, but since then she has come around. She says he may not be “the” Antichrist, but he is surely “an” antichrist. And she mentions the same issues I do; you can’t vote for one thing on Sunday and then vote for its opposite on Tuesday. I’ll embed the video. It’s long, so I completely understand if you don’t watch it, but it’s there in case you decide it’s worth it.

She posted another video about a wonderful dream she had. In the dream, she was a man’s girlfriend. The man was helping her move. Two professional movers were also helping. She kept complaining and shrieking. She was ungrateful and disrespectful. She was emasculating. Then God switched her roles, and she became the boyfriend. She got to see what men experience when they deal with…I’m not going to use the B-word…contentious women. In the video, she lays into women who won’t let men be men.

Good for her! You would think this would be obvious to women, but it’s not. Any woman who has dealt with a child who ridiculed and disobeyed her should know what it’s like for a man to deal with an emasculating woman, but somehow, many don’t make the connection.

You can’t be in charge unless people allow you to be in charge. You need a certain amount of respect. This is one of the reasons God throws people into hell. He can’t permit people who try to emasculate him to pollute heaven with their filthy presence.

Women complain about men not being men, but ungodly women won’t let men be men. And ungodly men can’t get relief, because they don’t treat God with respect. When you’re walking in God’s will, things start to line up and work in harmony.

I also found a guy named Shawn Weed. He’s a former marine. When he was in the corps, his friends killed him. They put a noose around his neck as a prank, and he died. He encountered a huge demon that grabbed him and started running toward the flames of hell.

He thought he was a Christian, and he thought he was a pretty good guy, so he was very confused by his experience. Fortunately for him, God sent him back, and now he tells other people what he knows, in order to save them. He’s pretty long-winded, but if you have time, his video is great.

He’s not charging. He’s not making a career out of it. He’s not telling the poor to max out their credit cards. In other words, he is not like Rod Parsley or Jerry Savelle.

Here’s a third Youtube warrior: Billy Hobbs. I mentioned him here a week ago. He was a drug addict and outlaw biker. He had to have neck surgery, and the surgeon made a mistake. He suffered some paralysis, and he lost the ability to work full time. He spent 21 days in a coma, fighting a spirit that wanted to take him.

Needless to say, he’s not an outlaw biker or an addict any more. He has a lot of insight into the things God really cares about.

These people aren’t right about everything. One interesting thing about people who have supernatural visitations and so on is that God will not always tell them every important truth. He allows some error to remain, because human beings failed in their responsibility to preserve knowledge. There are a lot of things we are supposed to know already, and it’s not his job to keep presenting all of it to us, over and over. We’re responsible for that. The people in the videos above don’t know everything, but they do seem to understand faith, humility, and teachability. That’s more than TV preachers can say.

Billy Hobbs thinks tongues aren’t for everyone, and that’s not true. The gift can be blocked, but you’re entitled to it. Pride can block it, and so can unbelief. Fortunately for me, I managed to receive it in spite of pride. Don’t ask me to explain; God does what he wants.

He says many people who speak in tongues don’t lead godly lives. That’s certainly true. One of the purposes of prayer in tongues is to cleanse you. It won’t happen instantaneously, and if you don’t use the gift assiduously, you can remain filthy. It doesn’t mean the gift isn’t essential or effective. It just means you wasted it.

For a few years now, I’ve been telling people that the age of the big church was dead. Prominent preachers are just too crooked and evil. They are killing and eating the people they’re supposed to help. I believe God showed me that what he really wanted was a grassroots church, where one person reaches ten people, correctly, instead of ten thousand, badly. The gospel should spread like the flu, from one ordinary person to another. When I see these videos, I consider it confirmation.

Satan’s method of spreading things works really well. One homosexual airline steward infected the whole world with AIDS. Supposedly, he killed 20% of the gay population in some major cities. If disease can spread that way, so can salvation. God doesn’t actually need TV. Paul didn’t have it. God doesn’t need gigantic churches, either. Greedy preachers need gigantic churches.

The funny thing about this is that God is using social media, which is generally a counterproductive thing. Facebook and Twitter are big drains. Youtube seems different. Perhaps it’s because Youtube doesn’t have a newsfeed that pours garbage into your heart every time you turn it on.

Sooner or later, Christians will be banned from the Internet. I often wonder…will our digital presence be preserved in some way, to help people who are trapped on earth during the Tribulation, or will it disappear entirely? If so, will that disappearance be part of humanity’s punishment?

God allowed the teaching he gave our predecessors to disappear.

Anyway, for now, Christian Youtubers are doing a lot of good. They may be beholden to Google, which is a somewhat evil, anti-God enterprise, but they’re not beholden to Mammon or narcissism, which are even worse. Many of the TV preachers are in the grip of something they will never be able to overcome…because they don’t want to overcome.

I started coming across these videos because I was watching videos about people’s visits to hell and heaven. A lot of people have claimed they’ve been to hell in visions or in the spirit. Some are lying; others are telling the truth. For two or three weeks, I was very caught up in this material.

Last week, a relative of mine had a near-death experience. I heard two different stories about it. The first said he didn’t go to work, and his boss found him unconscious, incapacitated by a diabetic coma. The second story, which appears to be correct, is that he was unconscious because he had an intestinal infection and vomited up a lot of blood.

He has been in the hospital for some time. My aunt called me and asked for prayer, and I had friends pray for him. He was on life support. At first I thought they expected him to be fine, but yesterday they told me they were having a meeting about his condition, and that they were going to have to test him for brain activity.

We were afraid he was going to die. Things looked very bad.

I had slacked off on prayer, because I had thought things were going well. Yesterday I resumed, and I spoke defeat to the spirits that wanted to take him. I asked God to bring him back and give him another chance. He’s a former yoga instructor; he has opened occult doors, and he was likely to go to hell.

I felt tremendous faith surging through me. Just crazy faith, like water through a fire hose. Prayer in tongues causes you to develop that.

My aunt called me again later in the day, and she said he was awake and speaking. He asked them to turn the TV on so he could watch football. He has some kidney problems and cirrhosis (he’s not a drinker), but they expect him to go home in a day or two. She said it was miraculous.

I don’t know if God had me watch the hell videos to give me motivation or what, but I’m very glad my cousin is still here.

If you have a testimony, maybe you should put it on Youtube. The world can only stand so many cat videos.

Don’t Stay Thirsty, My Friends

Sunday, September 18th, 2016

I Think I Hear Spitballs Bouncing off the Hull of the Ark

I am reviewing the news after a tasty McDonald’s breakfast coupled with an episode of Dennis Gage’s cable show, My Classic Car. What do I see before me? Yet another ridiculous attempt to discredit Jesus.

A few years back, James Cameron, who, having directed a successful movie about a sinking ship, is clearly an authority on ancient history, said he had found the tomb of Jesus. Now, we all know Jesus had a tomb. In fact, you can go to Jerusalem and visit TWO tombs of Jesus. If the line at one is too long, why, just go to the other one! But the one Cameron was pushing was different; he claimed the dead body of Jesus stayed in it permanently. If that were true, it would put a serious dent in Christianity.

Now a Jewish geologist–hello, Jewish–says he has proof Cameron’s tomb belongs to Jesus. Actually, here is what he says: “I think I’ve got really powerful, virtually unequivocal evidence that the James ossuary spent most of its lifetime, or death time, in the Talpiot Tomb.”

Not really the same as, “I proved this is the tomb of Jesus,” but that hasn’t kept the press from treating it as a conclusive debunking of Christianity.

People really need to stop falling for stories like this. Let me explain why we will never be presented with a legitimate permanent tomb of Jesus: if the Jews had known the location of his body, we would have been hearing about it for 2,000 years.

People seem to forget that religious Jews absolutely hate Jesus. They’re so angry at him, they’ll acknowledge a Satanist Jew or an atheist Jew, but they call Christian Jews “Christians of Jewish birth.” They say they are not Jewish. In reference to Jesus, they have said, “May his name be blotted out forever.” He is not popular with them.

They don’t talk about this much, because they believe persecution is strongly connected to their behavior. They don’t want to provoke anyone. In truth, they would still be persecuted even if they sewed their mouths shut and went to live in huts without electricity or telephones, because their real enemy is Satan, and he really doesn’t care what Jews do. He wants to eradicate them, period, and he will always have lots of servants handy who are willing to do the job.

Jews work very hard, to this day, to prove Jesus was a fake. The idea that they would sit around for two millennia, keeping quiet about the location of his dead body, is patently absurd. If someone proved Jesus was a fake, the parties in Israel and Brooklyn would last a month.

When Christians began to outnumber Jews, they persecuted Jews. Back when Jews outnumbered Christians, it was the other way around. They rounded us up and murdered us. Paul did this for a living; Christians were as terrified of him as European Jews were of Hitler. In the first century A.D., Jesus was already considered to be an enormous problem. If Jesus had been buried permanently in Jerusalem, Paul and his friends would have known, and they would have publicized it. We would still be hearing about it today. We are not.

There is a book called The Passover Plot. It suggests Christians paid off the Romans who guarded the tomb of Jesus. The idea is that Christians stole the body, hid it, and claimed Jesus was resurrected. Because they really wanted to dedicate their lives to a false religion, lose their jobs and property, lose all their friends, and be stoned to death.

Hal Lindsey, a Biblical scholar who makes guesses about eschatology, pointed out the obvious flaw in this theory. Aside from the fact that there is no evidence to back the story up, Roman soldiers were subject to the death penalty for relatively minor acts of disobedience. You can pay a guard to let you sneak into the movies, because very little will happen to him if you get caught. Paying a Roman soldier to face the death penalty would not be that easy. You can’t spend a bribe when you’re dead.

This “debunking” stuff has been going on for centuries. It’s asinine.

For some reason, the deniers love to claim Jesus married Mary Magdalene. It’s as if they read a bunch of Archie comic books and assumed that because the only women the books mentioned were Betty and Veronica, Archie must have married one of them. He could also have married Midge, but Moose would have beaten him to a pulp. In all likelihood, a lot of the motivation to pair Jesus with Mary Magdalene comes from the perverse pleasure of accusing him of having sex with a former prostitute.

It’s like the false stories about him, calling him “Jesus ben Pandera,” suggesting Mary was a prostitute and Pandera was the Roman soldier who fathered Jesus. Ho hum. Business as usual.

Jesus didn’t promote celibacy, but he didn’t marry, because God sent him to be the husband of the church. Also, his wife and children would have been worshiped; God didn’t want that. The Catholics already worship everyone he knew. His descendants would have been worshiped. His tomb would have become an object of idolatry. Actually, the two tombs promoted as his have already become objects of idolatry; people kiss and fondle the rock in order to absorb supernatural power.

Maybe there is a tomb belonging to a man with the common first name “Jesus,” and maybe his mother’s name was Mary and his dad’s name was Joseph. In a country where people don’t have last names, you would expect to find more than one tomb fitting that description, especially if you hated Christianity and made a point of searching. There must be two million graves like that in Mexico. “Here lies Jesus, son of Jose and Maria.” There are probably a thousand in Hialeah.

If you believe Jesus and serve him, he will eventually manifest himself to you, making all this noise irrelevant. He has manifested himself to me twice.

James Cameron hasn’t manifested himself to me even once; maybe he’s a myth, like The Most Interesting Man in the World.

Don’t pay any attention to the nonsense. If you’re relying on newspapers and Jews to teach you about Jesus, you are going to have a lot of problems. It’s like relying on Naomi Wolf to teach you about masculinity. Not that I’m thinking about anyone in particular. Certainly not a former Vice President.

But I digress.

The tomb of Jesus is a fake. The tomb of James Cameron will be very real. That about sums it up.

Oh When the Saint Goes Marching Out…

Saturday, September 17th, 2016

Can’t Wait

I’m still working my way through the Columbia University Literature Humanities syllabus. The latest obstacle on the confidence course: Augustine’s Confessions.

The book is supposedly about Augustine’s conversion to Catholicism, but I’m only about 40% of the way through, so I can’t confirm that with confidence. A lot of it is random interjections in which he praises God, and a good deal of it is filled with musing about this and that. It’s not what I would call “a story,” in the conventional sense. It’s not like Charlotte’s Web, where Wilbur wakes up every day and has interactions with Charlotte and Templeton and inches perceptibly closer to his pivotal appearance at the fair.

Augustine was a very smart guy. That surprised me. Christian scholarship is not always the sort of thing that shines in juxtaposition with Descartes and Kant. It’s definitely better than the little bits of Muslim scholarship I’ve been exposed to, and by that I mean it’s not something an objective eight-year-old would find ridiculous, but the Christian arguments I’ve seen have not been all that sophisticated.

Augustine is sufficiently bright to drive a thinking person to underline quotations, in the vain hope of remembering and using them later. That’s about the highest praise I can offer.

I don’t actually remember any of the things I underlined. I didn’t like them enough to go back and prolong the experience of reading the book by memorizing them.

This is the problem with a reading list. You always think about the destination, not the journey.

Augustine was raised by a Catholic (his mother, Monica), but he became a Manichee. This is important, at least to me, because it explains why my Lit. Hum. professor kept ranting about Manicheism and eating cucumbers on the rare occasions when I visited the class. I thought he just had a weird obsession.

Manicheism is a cult, founded by a guy named Mani. Don’t ask me what they believed. I get bits and pieces of it here and there, but if it’s not on Wikipedia, I probably don’t know it. They believed something about the universe being composed of light and darkness, and people were supposed to eat foods that contained light. Cucumbers figured prominently on the list.

The Manichees were against animal sacrifice, and they thought the Christian scriptures were screwed up, because, of course, the Old Testament is full of sacrifices. Augustine made a pretty shrewd observation after he joined the Catholics. The Manichees held that the scriptures had been altered, but they were never able to produce a copy of the unaltered text.

I can relate to Augustine. He listened to silly people who believed silly things, and his natural intelligence didn’t prevent him from being fooled. I listened to televangelists and megachurch pimps.

Augustine was a player. He was obsessed with sex. He manages to make it boring, however.

Here’s something that surprised me: he had an illegitimate son. He began turning toward the church, and his mom tried to fix him up with a ten-year-old fiancee. In the meantime, Augustine was still getting busy–on a steady basis–with a woman to whom he was not married.

So far, I have not seen any indication that he was horrified by this. How can that be? He was getting ready to get very serious about a relationship with God, and here he was, running around with a chippie.

I could understand if he acted under compulsion. If he said, “I told the servants to lock me up, but at three in the morning, I gave in again, kicked the screen out of the window, and ran over to Lulu’s place.” That’s not how it reads. It seems more like he decided to give up his mistress as a practical matter, like a man who sells his golf clubs in order to make room for snow skis.

I don’t think anyone ever calls Augustine a pedophile. We call Mohammed a pedophile all the time; he married a girl who was 6 years old, and he had sex with her three years later. Augustine decided to become engaged to a girl who was 10, and he would have been allowed to consummate the marriage when she was 12. Not a huge difference.

Many of his experiences resonate with me. He complains constantly about his regret over having believed lies. Right there with you, pal. I believed Satan’s lies outside the church, and then I went to church, where I believed the lies he spread through preachers.

I’ve come to realize something: God loves it when you see the truth. He really hates being disbelieved, and he hates it when people believe Satan. He loves it when people say, “Satan is a liar.” It’s what he has been waiting to hear.

Even though I myself have lied, I hate liars. I love exposing them. I love showing people they’ve been lied to. God is the same way. Most of Satan’s damage has been done with lies. God tells people the truth, and they spit at him. Satan tells them ridiculous lies, and they believe him and give him their lives. I see why God loves faith so much. Don’t you hate it when you tell the truth and people don’t believe you?

I guess it seems like I pick on my sister a lot, but here I go again. She taught me what it was like to deal with liars. She lies about me all the time. She has done it since I was very small. I’ve spent a tremendous amount of time defending myself to other people, refuting her lies. I’ve spent a lot of time talking to other people about the lies she has told me about them. It’s exasperating. I know exactly what God goes through.

A person who spreads lies is like a thief who runs away while knocking over furniture and leaving it in the path of his pursuers. The thief just runs and pulls things over. The pursuer has to stop, lift things up, and put them in order. Lying is very efficient, in that way. It forces truthful people to waste time and do a lot of work. They have to fix the mess the lies create. That’s why liars love lying. If you have to deal with liars all the time, you’re constantly untying knots they tied with their forked tongues.

I get it, God. I know what you deal with every day. I see how Satan managed to delay you so many times.

I understand why hell exists. Liars and murderers require a storage bin where they can be confined, so they can’t spread their vexation to heaven. As for the fire, well…it will keep them busy so they can’t plot. I would rather see them suffer than see them arm themselves, because righteousness has to be preserved.

I won’t criticize God’s plan.

I have two problems with Augustine. First, he’s boring. Surprise, surprise. If he’s on the Lit. Hum. syllabus, it should surprise no one that he can’t write a paragraph that scans cleanly. That’s almost a given. He is very windy; he never knows when to give it a rest. Editors are the lowest form of life, but he could use one.

Second, he tries to understand God with the unaided mind, which is the unfortunate tool that got him into Manicheism. It doesn’t work. He reasons and reasons, and he only gets so far. You can’t learn about God through reason. The Holy Spirit has to impart understanding to you. You have to pray in tongues. You have to get God’s help. I guess by Augustine’s time, the devil had already managed to convince Christians tongues were no longer needed.

Augustine didn’t know all that much about God. It’s frustrating to see people call him “saint,” as though he were an exalted being with knowledge the rest of us can never receive. Any ditchdigger who prays in tongues can learn more about God than Augustine knew.

Christianity is not for scholars; it’s for people of faith who are willing to pray and submit. Take a look at the bell curve. Do you really believe God only wanted to know the people on the far right? Of course not.

I don’t understand how Columbia University can give people one week to read Augustine. I can do about twenty pages per day without losing my mind. That makes it a two-week ordeal. No one with a realistic courseload could read all these boring books in time for exams. No wonder people cheat.

I guess before I wrap up, I’ll say one more positive thing about Augustine. He makes fools of the people who claim morality isn’t a Jewish/Christian invention.

Academics hate God, so they’re always looking for ways to pull him down. They love to tell us morality is universal. The things one major culture thinks are right are also esteemed by other cultures. Ten Commandments…Code of Hammurabi…it’s all the same. WRONG.

I’ve gone through the Greek and Roman syllabus offerings. They showed me that the ancients who were neither Christian nor Jewish were depraved and barbaric.

Homer’s protagonists were disgusting, and they were just like Virgil’s. They were murderers. They were rapists. They loved invading other people’s cities, raping everyone in sight, demolishing all the buildings, and take the citizens as slaves. They called men who did this “blameless.” They called them “pious”!

Come on. Wake up. Their mores were nothing like those of Christians and Jews. God’s people were much more civilized than they were. The Greeks, Romans, and Egyptians were coarse and cruel. They were inferior. Without the Jews and Christians, their perverted ethos would now be universal.

The Jewish God is the only God, and the culture that came from Judaism is superior. Not “different.” Not “better in some ways.” Superior. Admit it. Or stand up for rape, torture, pillage, and wars of conquest. Without the Jewish God, earth becomes like hell. The tender mercies of the wicked are cruel.

America’s culture is rotting because we don’t acknowledge that the values that saved us are Jewish. We denied the source of our blessings, so now the river runs black and fetid.

It’s funny how God-hating liberals fight God while proclaiming values that came from God. Love, patience, kindness, self-sacrifice…these concepts, when found in Greek and Roman culture, are stunted and perverted, at best. In Judaism and Christianity, they flower and dominate.

But the children of darkness will never admit it. A supernatural blindfold can’t be pierced by logic or common sense. Okay, fine. You’re right about everything. Bruce Jenner, a man who won the Olympic decathlon, is a woman. A four-year-old who thinks he’s a girl should receive sex hormones that prevent him from going through a normal puberty. Have it your way.

I look forward to Dante, and that’s only because I want to be done with Augustine.

Unexpected Message

Wednesday, September 14th, 2016

Who’s Sharing YOUR Bed?

Something fascinating happened last night.

First, some background. For some time now, I’ve been waking up–consistently–between six and seven in the morning. I thought it was God, waking me up to pray. Also, I have been asking God to expose the people and spirits who are against him in my life, and I have asked him to defeat them and drive them away, no matter who they are.

This morning, I woke up, as usual. This time, I heard a voice. It was as though I had answered the phone and someone was speaking to me. Just after I awoke, I heard a woman with an American accent say something I no longer remember, and then she said, “See you later.”

She said it with a smug, hostile tone, like someone who was tormenting me and who expected to be able to come back and torment me in the future.

It got me thinking.

My prayer life has gone nuts over the last few years, and it keeps getting more powerful. More and more, I spend time on the offensive, attacking people and spirits that work against God. It works. That has to make demons and fallen angels very angry.

When Eve fell, evil spirits received the keys to the earth. It wasn’t supposed to be theirs, but they won it by fooling a carnal woman. Since then, Satan has ruled the world, and the spoiled, vicious children of the fallen angels have tormented human beings.

We talk about evil spirits (when we admit they exist) as though they’re isolated rogues, out of control. In reality, they have every right to be here and to abuse us. We gave it to them. In fact, demons are human. They are our brothers and sisters. They were created when angels had sex with human beings. The fight between demons and humans is actually a family squabble; it’s sibling rivalry.

It’s crazy to think you can give yourself to God and go on the attack without infuriating the beings you’re humiliating and driving out. They’ve had it good. They haven’t been pitched into the lake of fire. They can’t die. They are allowed to wander the earth, hidden from us, torturing and killing the beings they hate the most.

They don’t want to have that taken away from them. It’s the best thing they’ll ever have. They have no other hope of pleasure or safety. Soon they’re going to find themselves burning forever, in complete humiliation and powerlessness. It should be obvious that they will fight back.

Christians don’t like to talk about this. When you mention demons and angels, people who call themselves Christians–people who claim to worship a spirit–tell you you’re mentally ill. That’s the way Satan likes it. The best way to divert attack is to convince your enemy you aren’t there.

I see why God hates lukewarmness. If you’re lukewarm, you’re probably praying every other day and doing pretty much as you please. You’re not aware of the supernatural. You’re not doing anything to defeat Satan. You’re just lying back on the couch, allowing the enemy to have his way with you. You’re like a drunken college girl, lying beside a dumpster, exposed, with her legs up.

A lukewarm person doesn’t fight back, and God doesn’t do all that much fighting for him.

I have problems. I have had failures that were extremely improbable and damaging, in spite of my carnal efforts. No wonder! I blew my front door off the hinges and lay down on the floor, waiting passively. What did I expect?

This defeated, worthless, doomed thing has been coming to me every morning, and I haven’t done enough to get rid of it. What else is coming to me? What other problems are caused by trespassers I welcomed and fed?

When Jesus sent the disciples out (Matthew 10), he ordered them to do four things: “Heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the dead, cast out demons.” Those were his priorities at the time. He didn’t say, “Buy 20 purple suits for $3000.00 each, build a pink megachurch, and start a TV show.” The things he told them to do were important. They’re still important. He said he had come to set the captives free. He wasn’t just referring to salvation. You can’t be free in this life until you dethrone the spirits that control you.

This message draws all kinds of resistance, because demons do not like being humiliated. Their inheritance is weakness, servitude, and pain, and they do not want to receive it. They will come after anyone who speaks against them, and they will use Christians to shut such people down, because Christians have credibility among Christians.

I felt I should pass this information along, because chances are, you are not doing much about your spirit problem.

I want whatever authority and deliverance I can get. I plan to keep going forward so I can get whatever is available.

These things are real. Don’t expect them to go away just because they’re bored.

New Old Reading for Christians

Monday, September 12th, 2016

The Epistle of Barnabas

I don’t have complete faith in the people who decided which books were to be included in the Bible. I believe all of the Protestant choices are valid, but the Catholics and Orthodox churches have included some bizarre items, and some of them are definitely wrong.

Example: the book of Judith. Even Catholics admit this one is full of errors. I assume Catholics don’t believe the Bible is inerrant. It is also believed that The Wisdom of Solomon is a forgery.

I went through most of the Catholic choices Protestants don’t like, and so far, I haven’t come across anything that appears to be inspired by the Holy Spirit. I haven’t read the books of Maccabees and Baruch yet.

Why did I do this? Because someone sent me looking for a book by Barnabas, an early apostle.

I found a Youtube channel belonging to a man named Billy Hobbs, and I’ve been watching his stuff. He understands things most Christians don’t get. For example, he knows demons are the spirits of the offspring of men and angels. Most people think they’re fallen angels.

He talks about extra-Biblical books, and he mentioned Enoch and Barnabas, so I had to see what Barnabas had to say.

At first I was very disappointed, because there is a bogus book called The Gospel of Barnabas, and that’s the first book I found. It’s a ridiculous forgery denying the divinity of Jesus. Muslims love it because they believe Jesus is not the son of God.

Looking at that book, I wondered if Billy Hobbs knew what he was doing. Then I came across The Epistle of Barnabas, which is a different book. I read it last night.

This one seems to be the real McCoy. Some of the Catholic books are clearly self-help and fables, and they don’t have the ring of truth. They are not moving to read, because they don’t resonate with the experience of a person who knows the Holy Spirit. Barnabas, however, is very consistent with the other apostles, and he teaches the way Holy-Spirit-led teachers teach, with insight that appears to come from God.

Barnabas mentions something which I thought was a modern revelation; he says the age of man is divided into thousand-year periods, and that these periods are like days of the week. The seventh period will be a Sabbath–a time of rest and peace–and the eighth period will be a time of new creation. This is consistent with what I believe. I expect Jesus to return for the seventh age and rule for a thousand years.

Here we are, in the Jewish year 5776, 223 years and change away from 6000. That makes me wonder: do we have 223 years of suffering in front of us? Is the end actually coming sooner, and is the Jewish calendar off by two centuries? Will the seventh period begin before 6000, just as Jewish days start on the preceding evening?

Jesus said only the Father knew when everything was going to wrap up, but it would be nice to narrow it down a little.

I can understand why God won’t be specific. For one thing, everyone would set a timer, sin like crazy, and then repent two minutes before the bell. You know they would; it’s not even debatable.

You can find Barnabas online. Check it out and see what you think.

Clinton Armor Cracks at Last

Sunday, September 11th, 2016

Candidate Lifted into Vehicle After Fainting Spell

I have friends who are in a tizzy about the upcoming presidential election. It’s an extremely important election, because if a Democrat wins, the Supreme Court will be taken over–almost instantaneously–by liberal extremists who will make life harder on Christians, Jews, and conservatives.

I would guess that less than 10% of the American people understand that. Presidents appoint all federal judges, and federal judges run the country, because they decide what the law means.

It’s pointless to harp on that, because even intelligent people can’t seem to understand it.

You can write a law that says, “Every male over the age of thirteen has to wear blue pants on Thursday,” and a judge can conclude that it means, “From now on, lobster has to be served with ketchup.” Once a judge decides what a law means, that’s what it means, until another judge or a legislative body slaps him down.

I don’t get very worked up about politics. I don’t write about it much. I dropped the silly game of exchanging links with bloggers who thought they were changing the world. I don’t give money to candidates. I don’t always vote in local elections, because I don’t identify with my area, and I don’t care that much what happens to it.

God has shown me that you have to fight things in supernatural ways, because all events have supernatural roots.

Every day, I curse the political left with defeat, and I curse the Clinton campaign, in the name of Jesus. That’s my big contribution. To non-believers and most Christians, that sounds silly. Well, we’re even. To me, scrambling around making ineffective efforts with my natural strength seems silly.

Today I got some encouraging news. Hillary Clinton fell down at a 9/11 commemoration.

Some outlets are saying she “got overheated.” They want Hillary to win, and “overheated” sounds better than “incapacitated,” which is the accurate term. Unfortunately for the left, there is video of Hillary leaving the event.

She was carried into a vehicle. You can see it in the video below.

At first, she is leaning on a concrete post for support, probably at her own insistence. It appears to be an effort to make herself look steady and nonchalant. It looks better than having people hold her up.

When the vehicle arrives, she falls forward, and you can see people reaching down to lift her into the vehicle.

That’s a serious medical event. It’s not right-wing wishful thinking or conspiracy theorizing, which is the dishonest explanation the leftist press has been giving us.

I do not want to appear glad that someone is ill. That’s not the issue. I’m glad 1) the liars who falsely accused conservatives of making up health stories have been put in their place, and 2) Clinton is going to lose votes or conceivably withdraw because she is not well. I’m also glad to see supernatural warfare pay off.

Eventually, people like Clinton will take the White House and hold onto it. They will take the judicial branch and Congress, too. That has to happen, because America has failed God. But it doesn’t have to happen in November. It can be delayed. During the delay, Spirit-led Christians can improve and work. They can reach people. They can put themselves in a better posture to endure the Nazi-style persecution that lies ahead. Cursing Democrat campaigns and turning back to God in a way that is more than superficial are worthwhile pursuits. It’s like bailing a sinking raft; you may not be able to keep it afloat permanently, but you may be able to make it to shore.

Today The Washington Post published a piece admitting the health issue is real. That’s a huge victory.

The Clintons are ruthless and selfish, like megachurch pastors. I don’t know if it’s true that they or their allies kill political enemies, but the Machiavellian nature of the Clintons has been proven by history. My best guess is that Democrats have been concerned about her health, too, but they were overruled by the Clinton machine, because IT’S HILLARY’S TURN, PERIOD. Maybe I’m wrong, but it seems likely, based on human nature.

She probably thought she could suck it up until the election. Now that hope is dashed.

My advice to anyone who believes in faith and the Holy Spirit is to curse the Clinton campaign daily and ask God to help his servants get it together so our enemies will not have so much power over us. It’s nice to stockpile guns and MRE’s, but those things won’t really save us. We need the approval and help of the living God.

I also pray for God to help Donald Trump and his crew to shape up spiritually. I don’t know how much hope for that. Cyrus is probably in hell, and maybe Trump (our new Cyrus) is headed that way, too, but I have an obligation to try. Whatever they do, they will certainly be better for Christians and Jews than the left.

God still rises up to fight our enemies. Don’t doubt it just because we deserve to lose. Maybe we can’t get all the help we want, but we can certainly do better than we are doing right now.

The Bible says God stops fighting our enemies when we gloat, so I’m not doing that. But I think I should be willing to point out the obvious.

Eternal Affairs

Tuesday, September 6th, 2016

Cops Hate the Cop Cops

I keep watching videos of people who claim they’ve visited hell. It has been interesting.

Some folks like to say it’s not possible to visit hell. They say the Bible says man dies once and then goes to judgment, so that rules out returns from the dead. That’s wrong, however, because a number of Biblical figures died and were resurrected.

That’s the end of that argument.

It’s generally true that people only die once. Generally. Not universally.

It’s possible to visit hell, and it’s also possible for people to stay right here and make up lies. If you claim you went to hell, you can get a lot of attention, and you can make money off of it. For some people, attention is all it takes. Somehow I like them less than the greedy. At least the greedy get something tangible in exchange for their honor.

Yesterday I tried to watch a girl named Sarah Binayamo Boyanga. I assume she’s African. She has a Youtube video. In the video, she’s a well-dressed young lady who seems to have a nice personality.

I found her claims implausible.

For one thing, her video is boring. When God talks to spiritually aware people through other people, it’s not dull. The Holy Spirit wakes you up and makes you listen. I can’t believe Jesus would take someone on a tour of the spiritual realm and then allow her to give a talk that causes people to drift off.

Another issue: she said God is happy if you pray two minutes per day. I mean, seriously…is that credible? The devil works around the clock. Rotten people work around the clock. You can’t ask God to counteract that in two minutes, and aside from that, you can’t have a relationship with another person, based on 120 seconds of perfunctory interaction. God wants children, and children love their parents and include them in their lives.

Did Paul say to pray two minutes per day? No, he said he thanked God he prayed in tongues more than all of the Corinthians. Did Jesus say to love God a little bit here and there? No, he said to love him with all your heart, all your soul, and all your might. Can’t do it in two minutes.

She said Jesus told her that if a person is serving the Lord, that person can’t die of disease. She said that if anyone had a loved one who was ill, and that person was serving God, that person would be healed. Problem: Elishah died from disease. If Elishah didn’t serve God, who does?

Lazarus also died from disease. We don’t know much about him, but his sisters served God, and Jesus was his close friend (not just his rabbi), so how can it be true that he didn’t serve God?

I kept getting bored and wandering off, so I didn’t see the whole video. I don’t think I need to. If you prove you’re wrong in the first ten minutes of a speech, the rest of the speech can’t help you.

It’s easy to be fooled. I can’t tell when people are lying, and you can’t, either. People think they can. It’s just pride. If you don’t have the help of the Holy Spirit, lies will look just wonderful to you. It has happened to me, many times.

I often wonder how many times people have lied to me. My natural inclination is to assume people are telling the truth, because even liars tell the truth maybe 90% of the time.

When I was a kid, my best friend was a thief and a liar. I remember losing a pocket knife in my front yard and asking him to help me look for it. We looked all over a small patch of grass, and I never found it. Oddly, he turned out to have a knife just like mine. I also lost my dad’s hunting knife when he was around. I’m old, and it only occurred to me recently to put two and two together. I didn’t lie to my friend or steal from him, so I assumed he treated me more or less the same way.

Preachers lie constantly. My grandfather was a tort lawyer, and he also served as a prosecutor and circuit judge. He said, “Whenever you see a preacher on the stand, get ready to hear a bunch of lies.” He was too kind. He should have said, “Whenever you see a preacher anywhere.”

I turned back to God because I had genuine supernatural experiences, and I wanted to know people who were in the same boat. I heard preachers on TV and in pulpits telling them Jesus appeared and said this and that. I figured they had to be telling the truth. After what I had been through, surely other people had experienced similar events.

Preachers still love to say, “God just told me there are __ people in this room who need to give a thousand dollars each.” God never said any such thing. If I tell you God told me something, you can be sure one of two things is true: God told me something or I just think he told me something. I’m not going to make things up, and I am eager to expose those who do. I have no mercy, and I take pleasure in informing on them. When the wolf charges in, you don’t hand him a water bottle and take his coat. You blow his brains out and make a nice rug out of his skin.

There are so many liars, the truthful are hard to find, and once you find them, the habit of rejecting liars makes it hard for us to believe them. Liars are like the chaff airplanes drop to fool missiles. If you can get people to follow liars, they won’t be available to listen to the truthful. They waste their energy chasing garbage trucks instead of armored cars full of riches.

I don’t know if Sarah Binayamo is a liar. I just know I don’t believe her.

She’s a great choice for a decoy. She looks and sounds sweet and innocent. Anyone who criticized her would be likely to be accused of picking on a nice kid who just wants to help God. That makes sense. A smart jihadi doesn’t hide a bomb in a carry-on belonging to a hairy guy who looks crazy. He hides in in the wheelchair of an old lady with blue eyes and a big smile.

I don’t care what people think about me criticizing folks who mislead in God’s name. I was thinking about it last night. I’ve belonged to three churches. I left one because the prosperity gospel turned me off. I left the other for the same reason, and the preachers told lies about me behind my back and held secret meetings to find out what I was up to. I left a third because the preachers were proud, selfish, immature, and, of course, caught up in the prosperity gospel. The head pastor was so mad at me, he chased a friend of mine down in the parking lot and started screaming at him about me.

You know what I am? God showed me last night. I’m internal affairs.

Cops stick together. If one cop blows a kid’s brains out for no reason, the first instinct other cops will have will be to obstruct justice and help him avoid arrest. That’s just human nature. Cops help other cops. But they don’t help all cops. They hate the cops who investigate other cops. They hate the people from internal affairs, because those people expose their crimes and bring justice down on them.

If all you do is sit in a pew and confirm your pastor’s delusions of godhood, you are part of the thin blue line. You’re covering corruption so it can fester. If you stand up and tell the truth, you’re internal affairs. People will condemn you. They will say much worse things about you than you say about your pastor, without worrying about whether those things are true. They will think they serve God when they attack you.

Carnal principles apply to carnal people, both inside and outside of the church.

Prophets are internal affairs. Prophets are lonely, or at least they’re aloof. A man who sits in the front row at church and lets the pastor take him on trips paid for out of the building fund…that man has a conflict of interest. He’s like a teacher who takes bribes in exchange for good grades. The people who tell the truth sit in the back, rejected, or they don’t go to church at all. They have to keep their feet dry.

The Jews killed prophets, both before and after the crucifixion. Christians do the same thing. The Jews killed Isaiah. A Jew killed John the Baptist. They put Jeremiah in a cistern. Ahab, a Jew, was guilty of the murder of the prophets his pagan wife murdered. He consented to the effort to murder Elijah. Ahab hated Micaiah because he told the truth. The Jews had Jesus killed, and they killed Stephen. At their command, Paul murdered people who were full of the Holy Spirit.

Nothing changes. Religious insiders want to destroy anyone who tells the truth. It’s not easy for a preacher to get away with killing someone who corrects him, but they do what they can. They ostracize them and lie about them.

I am not saying I’m a prophet, but I am a somewhat truthful person who says things that make crooked preachers uncomfortable. In that sense, I am similar to a prophet.

The closer you get to God, the more you will recognize and repeat the truth, and the more people will hate you. They have sold out to the devil. They love getting along and going with the flow. If you contradict them, they’ll try to destroy you instead of receiving healthy correction.

I have realized I need to be more honest. I think of myself as an honest person, and I have always had a reputation for honesty, but it’s an illusion. I’ve lied more times than I can remember. You don’t have to be very honest to set yourself apart in this world. I have lied enough to make it hard for me to perceive the truth.

God showed me that dishonest people lose the ability to perceive truth. When they start lying at an early age, they know they’re lying. At fifty or sixty, an unrepentant liar is actually mentally ill. He is unable to tell the difference between lies and reality, so he doesn’t have much potential to change. If you can’t receive criticism, which is truth, you are spitting out medicine.

Hell is full of liars. They stand in hell, burning…and still lying. “God didn’t give me a chance.” “I was a preacher; I don’t belong here.” “If you sent me back to earth, I’d be different.” “God is vicious and unfair.” They’re in hell because they made themselves immune to truth. Once that happened, there was no point in trying to save them. Salvation requires cooperation and honesty.

People say my sister would sooner climb a tree and lie than tell the truth and stand on the ground. She was a terrible liar when she was young, and now she doesn’t know what truth is. Harsh things to say, but true. It’s why God doesn’t ask me to pray for her or work with her now. There is no return on the investment.

She doesn’t say things with conviction. She just says things she thinks may bring about a desired result, and then she watches to see if they stick. It’s like watching someone spin a wheel at a fair. You can tell when you watch her that she’s just throwing dice. It’s reflected in her expression.

I’m not in that shape, but I have definitely let pride and bias damage my honesty. It’s one of the things I need God to help me fix.

Faith is perception of the truth. Peace is perception of the truth. Worry and fear are belief in lies. No wonder liars are so miserable.

If I want to tell other people the truth, I need to maximize my own ability to discern it. Things could be worse, but they can definitely use improvement.

We swim in a sea of lies, every day. Only the Holy Spirit can lift you up on top of it.

Things are getting weirder and more chaotic in the US. Christians need protection and help, more than ever, and our need is increasing, fast. Satan is almost completely in charge now. The filth we tolerate and love is like nothing we have seen before. If you don’t start looking for correction and redemption, you’re going to be unprepared when it really gets bad, and God is not going to listen to your cries for help, because you turned him down so often in the past.

God is full of help. Get in touch and start receiving it. You’re already receiving from his enemy; you might as well have both channels open.

Lard and Hot Steel

Friday, September 2nd, 2016

Take That However You Want

I finished Ovid yesterday. The last thing I read was the letter from…now I’ve forgotten…Medea to Jason. No, it was Sappho to Phaon, whoever that is. I had to check. You can see how much it impacted me.

It’s essentially a remake of the other letters, which are remakes of each other. Sappho said a couple of things that were relatively clever, but they weren’t clever enough to raise her above the level of the other jilted stalkers.

My main reaction to finishing Ovid: relief. Of course. Now I get to read Augustine. I don’t like calling him “St. Augustine” because he’s not a saint. By that I mean he’s not better than other human beings. He’s not someone people should pray to. Great guy, maybe. Not a saint. The saints were created to replace the Greek pantheon. God had nothing to do with it.

If you had told me a year ago that I was going to have to read Augustine, I would have looked for a way out of it, as I did, successfully, back at Columbia University. After my ordeal with the Greeks and Romans, Augustine sounds like a trip to Disney World. Bring him on. I can’t wait.

The Sappho letter lends credence to the idea that Sappho was a truck-driving, Anne Murray-listening, overall-wearing ladies’ lady. She complains that Mr. Phaon has ruined her for women. After her Phaon fornication binge, women just don’t do it for her. Does this mean she was really a lesbian? I don’t think so. Ovid lived a long time after Sappho, so he probably didn’t know much more about her than we do. Once you get a reputation, justified or not, it tends to stick. Maybe Sappho had already been lumped in with the field hockey players and non-shavers of legs before he was born.

Maybe there is a document out there which proves Sappho liked women. I will never know, because I am done with the classics. I wouldn’t read another classic author even if his book was a collection of winning lottery numbers in Roman numeral form. But the document must not exist, because people who actually like the classics do not agree on her orientation.

I don’t know why I’m discussing this. Maybe it’s because it’s the only thing about Sappho that is even remotely interesting.

It’s hard to think of anything exciting enough to follow up speculation about whether Sappho was a flannel-wearer, but I will try: today my belt grinder is going to arrive. If Fedex gets it right. I ordered it a week ago, and the shipper decided to fix it so it required a signature, so I’m stuck at home.

I think I made a good buy. I’m spending maybe $200 more than the cost of building my own grinder, but I will save a pile of work and time, and it looks like the grinder I chose–the Oregon Blade Maker–is a tremendous deal and a good product.

I say that before trying it.

If Sappho were alive, I bet she’d have a belt grinder.

Is it okay to make jokes like that? I don’t actually care, but I guess these days it’s likely to bring out the pierced and tattooed villagers with thrift store torches and Ikea pitchforks.

The coming increase in the persecution of Christians is a frequent topic here, but there are some aspects I haven’t thought about yet. Here’s one that just occurred to me: we will probably be beaten and imprisoned by hipsters. That’s terrible. It’s embarrassing. I’m not sticking up for the Nazis, of course, but I feel like it’s less of a blow to your self-respect when the man who shoots you in the head is wearing a smart military uniform with shiny death’s head pins. We’re going to be murdered by “men” who look like Snuggles the Fabric Softener Bear with glasses. It will be like getting punched out by Truman Capote.

Suddenly the Romans don’t look too bad. Having your brains clubbed out by a 6’8″ barbarian centurion…that’s a man’s death. Centurions didn’t have to say, “Hold my latte,” before they killed people. We’re going to be slaughtered by the snowflake patrol.

I never thought musing about persecution would look like this. You have to wonder what people will make of it when I’m gone.

I would not be the first Christian to have a sense of humor about it. They say that when Lawrence was roasted on a grill (by the church), he looked up and said, “I’m well done. Turn me over!”

If I have to take sides, I think I’ll side with John, not Lawrence. Lawrence was grilled, and grilling is about health, not flavor. John was deep-fried. It didn’t take, but it was certainly a superior method of preparation. Now that we know KFC’s secret recipe, I can request to be breaded.

I look forward to trying the grinder, but it won’t solve my scale problem. I will still have to find a way to clean mill scale off of steel, without ruining the shape of the metal. A surface grinder would be great to have. Another possibility: buy steel a little oversize and put screw holes at the ends. Screw it to a big piece of metal, put the metal in the mill vise, and mill the scale off. The large piece of metal and the screws would hold it flat, better than a vise could.

While I wait for the grinder, I’m working on my next food project. I keep making large batches of food so I can reheat during the week instead of cooking from scratch over and over. Yesterday I gave up and bought collards, hocks, neck bones, corn meal, tomatoes, and Vidalias. I’m going to make collard greens and hoe cakes. I just hope I don’t overeat. This food will be off-the-charts good.

I look forward to making the hoe cakes, because I have a Griswold griddle I’ve never used. I Ebayed it and used electrolysis to get the crud off. It looked brand new when I was done. Then I seasoned it with bacon fat. It should be wonderful to use. A griddle is great for things like pancakes and crepes, because it provides easy access for a spatula.

I don’t think I’d want to be griddled. I keep hoping I’ll be hit by a meteor. I can’t come up with anything that beats that plan. Makes a mess, but that’s not my problem.

Maybe I’ll post a photo if I get the grinder running. Or maybe I’ll just lie on my back eating hoe cakes.

Roman Holiday

Thursday, September 1st, 2016

Ovid Knew When to Shut it

I am going to knock Ovid off today. I’m very grateful to have a short reading assignment to kill the taste of The Aeneid and help me heal from the boredom.

I’m done with Dido’s letter to Aeneas, and I just started someone else’s letter to someone else. It doesn’t matter who wrote whom; they’re fungible. One letter is almost exactly like another. Same voice. Same whiny, neurotic, meandering style. Does Tiger Beat still exist? They probably get letters like this all the time, scarred by clove-cigarette burns, with instructions to forward them to Justin Timberlake.

“My parents don’t understand our secret love. I know you were moved by the triquetra and unicorn I drew in the dust on the side of your tour bus. I totally understand why you had your security people restrain me while you drove away. They’re not worthy to witness what we’re becoming.”

Medea. That’s who it is. Medea wrote Jason. I don’t know anything about these two, except that Jason was in one of my favorite Saturday afternoon movies when I was a kid: Jason and the Argonauts. Jason roamed around in a boat, fighting cool Ray Harryhausen monsters. I loved that stuff. We didn’t have fancy CGI back then; some crazy old coot had to build statues and move them a degree or a millimeter at a time for the cameras. I thought it was wonderful.

To be clear, it’s Medea, not Madea. If you don’t know who Madea is, good for you. It’s a Tyler Perry character. If you don’t know who Tyler Perry is, see previous.

Tyler Perry created very bad TV shows, and somehow he became extremely successful. Now he creates very bad movies. I can’t understand his popularity. He uses BET-grade actors, and the scripts are like something I would have written in the sixth grade.

Back when I was at Trinity Church, they showed a Tyler Perry movie, which I’m sure they did not pay for. It featured a big family of miserable black people having a holiday meal and discussing infidelity and VD (each other’s). The message of the film: we should all admire good-looking guys who date extremely overweight women.

My feeling on the subject is this: people like what they like. If you prefer women under 300 pounds, it doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. If you like them big, it doesn’t make you a good person. Maybe you’re just an Arab.

Yes, they talked about VD and adultery in church, and not in a constructive way. The decision to show the movie was typical of the Wilkerson attitude. The obvious blew right by them. Any normal preacher would have thought, “Maybe this isn’t a great thing to show kids at 9 a.m.”

Trinity was maybe 80% black, and the Wilkersons knew the movie would please the crowd. The crowd’s happiness was always job one, and it still is. Feed the beast. If you don’t feed it, you can’t milk it.

Madea is Tyler Perry in a big flowered dress. I don’t know too much about “her,” but I believe she’s an angry and somewhat carnal church lady, sort of like Lamont Sanford’s Aunt Esther. As a Christian, I’m not a big fan of drag. The Wilkersons love drag. Their son and another pastor did a video in drag.

Madea does not figure heavily in Greek mythology. I guess that’s my point.

I still don’t understand why people admire Ovid. The letters he wrote are like something Bradley Manning might write to Justin Bieber. Stalkerish. “I hope you die. Well, no I don’t. Because I want you to live long enough to suffer for abandoning me. I’m not mad at you. Please come and kill me. If you have a minute.”

Our notions of romance have changed since the 19th century. Before that, it was perfectly okay to be a stalker. We admired stalkers. You could probably get away with that lifestyle up through 1920 or so. Now, we don’t think it’s romantic to mail someone your ear or jump on a bonfire because someone left you. We think it’s sick and crazy.

It’s a little unfair. We encourage young people to read stalker literature, and then we get mad when they grow up and hack the online accounts of people who dumped them, or when they cut themselves. We don’t expect them to take the things we teach them seriously. We expect them to have the good sense to be hypocrites, like the rest of us.

I don’t recall the Greeks getting excited about stalking. Maybe it started with the Romans. The impression I have is that in the Greek stuff, people who couldn’t let go were considered pathetic.

That would make sense. The Greeks admired moderation. Even in their rape, murder, pillage, arson, and theft.

A friend told me I was the least codependent person he knew, because I was so fast to cut people off and so serious about not taking them back. It was a nice compliment, but I clung to counterproductive people in the past, and that’s how I learned that it was better to cut out the dead wood and move on. I had to make a fool of myself many times before God helped me see what I was doing wrong. However I got here, you don’t have to worry about me stalking anyone now. I wish people the best, and I hope I manage to help a few get to know God, but I think my epitaph will be “Buh-BYE.”

I seem to be immune to loneliness these days. Years ago, it was a real problem for me. When I was living in Texas, undergoing the torture of toxic ADD drugs and consistent failure at my chosen profession, I had almost no one, and I was like one of those zoo animals that develop tics and repetitive movements because of isolation. Now I’m kind of glad I don’t deal with people too much. I guess some people go the St. John route, and others go Kaczynski.

When you’re around people too much, they pressure you to be what you don’t want to be. That’s fine if you’re three. You need the guidance. It’s not so good when you’ve gotten a glimpse of God and you’re surrounded by people who think carnality is the bomb.

After today, I am done with Greeks and Romans. I move on to Augustine’s Confessions, which could be a pretty good read. Surely it will not be full of two-paragraph similes, the way Homer and Virgil were.

The next assignment is actually a combination of Luke and John, but I’ve read those three million times, so I don’t plan to go back over them.

I will continue to regale you with tales of my scholarly exploits. I’m sure someone will want to publish my sophisticated insights. I think I’ll hold my breath until I get an offer.

In any case, I’ll get a little closure and redemption. And I will know where Phrygia is.

Oh, the Lit. Humanity!

Tuesday, August 30th, 2016

Blameless Virgil Gnaws the Dust

I have earth-shattering news. I finished The Aeneid.

People who are keeping up know the story. I felt bad about reading almost none of the books on the Lit. Hum. list back when I was “studying” at Columbia, so I downloaded a syllabus and went to work. I slogged through Homer, Herodotus, Thucydides, and some other crap I am too lazy to list. Then I grounded my hull on Virgil. He’s a terrible writer, and I accidentally bought a translation by an even worse writer; by the time I realized it, I was about 60% of the way through the book. I bought the right translation and started over.

It’s a punishment fit for a mythological character. It’s almost Sisyphean. I refused to read this horrible book when I was supposed to, so I was condemned to read it later; not just once, but 1.6 times. I got the Santayana treatment, to the tune of 60%.

Man, this book stinks. It was agony. With junk like this to deal with, no wonder the ancients took so long to achieve literacy. It must have been extremely unappealing.

Checking the syllabus, I see that my next Herculean labor is Ovid’s Heroides. To show how little I learned at Columbia, I will reveal that I have no idea what the book is about. Maybe it wasn’t on the syllabus in 1902 when I took the course, or maybe it just wasn’t on the list of things I expected to be on the exam. In any case, I know nothing about it, and I kind of wish it could stay that way.

Wikipedia, I summon thee!

The Wiki-Oracle informs me that Ovid was a guy who gave up law to become a poet. Not sure that’s a step upward. He wrote in something called “elegiac meter.”

Here’s a quotation: “An elegiac couplet consists of one line of poetry in dactylic hexameter followed by a line in dactylic pentameter.”

Now I have to look up dactylic whatever.

My God, this is boring.

“The foot is the basic metrical unit that forms part of a line of verse in most Western traditions of poetry.”

“A dactyl (Greek: ????????, dáktylos, ‘finger’) is a foot in poetic meter. In quantitative verse, often used in Greek or Latin, a dactyl is a long syllable followed by two short syllables, as determined by syllable weight.”

If a dactyl is three syllables, how can you have dactylic PENTAmeter? “Penta” means “five.”

Oh, okay. I see it now. Dactylic pentameter is apparently fifteen syllables.

How can anybody care about this stuff?

No, I’m wrong about the fifteen syllables. There is apparently a thirty-page book somewhere explaining the rules of dactylic pentameter, and there are lots of variations.

I guess I’m a low-foreheaded potato eater, but I have never understood how meter alone could turn something into verse. When someone reads “The Charge of the Light Brigade,” I totally understand why it’s called poetry, but just screwing with rhythm in unimportant ways only creepy, mildewed academics can perceive is a different matter.

I think haikus are stupid. Is it okay to say that? They’re stupid. Compared to a haiku, a limerick is exciting new technology.

Ordered Sonic fries
She brings me cheese tots instead
Tears in my lime slush

While I was reading The Aeneid, I looked for some evidence that it wasn’t plain old prose, and I gave up. I’m sure it’s in there, but it doesn’t exactly jump out at you or have any detectible positive effect on the reader. You don’t sit there thinking, “Wow! This meter is really clever!” It’s more like, “BOREDOM! BOREDOM! WHEN WILL IT END???? OW, MY HEAD! WHY DID HE WRITE THIS???”

Rhythm is very important to writers. Sometimes a writer’s understanding of rhythm is obvious. One of the neat things about David Mamet is that he has good rhythm. His dialogue bounces along in a very appealing, balanced way. But that doesn’t mean arbitrarily choosing a completely ineffective, rigid rhythmic scheme makes you a great writer. If anything, it makes you self-deluded. A person who gets off on weird rhythmic regimes is missing the point of literature. It’s like thinking your food is good because all the ingredients are autumn colors.

If you want to make clever patterns other strange people notice, my suggestion is to take up needlepoint or maybe drums.

I can already see that Ovid’s rhythmic genius is going to be lost on me. I will just take that as given.

Once Ovid is in the can, I’m out of the Greek mythology ghetto. I can’t wait. The only person I’ve developed any liking for is Herodotus, and that’s only because he isn’t serious. The rest deserve all the bad things that happen to them. The characters and actual human beings in these books are like members of street gangs: they estimate the value of their existence based on the completely unnecessary, narcissistic suffering they inflict on themselves and others. Your son got his head chopped off in battle? Boo hoo! Maybe you should have stayed home instead of sailing off to hit other people with swords.

I didn’t do a calculation, but I’m pretty sure Aeneas lost more men than he took with him. I think he had fourteen ships at the start. What does a Greek ship hold? Say 150 men, tops? By the end of the book, Italy was buried in the rotting corpses of Trojans. One guy–Turnus–killed thousands of Trojans and Tuscans (I think it was Tuscans). Virgil had to be fudging his numbers. My guess is that he wrote the first part of the book, establishing the number of Trojans, and then he got carried away with slaughter in the second half of the book. Then he was too lazy to go back and correct the math. Even Virgil got tired of The Aeneid.

Just a theory.

I should write my own Greek epic and call it The Idiocy. It would be about a bunch of Greeks who got drunk and decided it would be great fun to go burn and pillage someone else’s city, only to find out that war is really unpleasant and lots of people you like die.

Oh, wait. That epic has already been written. Three times.

How could the ancients admire these morons? What kind of infantile morals did they have, to get worked up about which racist rapist murdering crybaby attention-whore thief won which battle?

It goes to show what the world was like before Judaism and Christianity. People had the values of monkeys.

I guess I’ve vented enough about Homer and Virgil. I’m not sure, though. I may have to resume later. I may not be completely purged; I may just be tired.

I’m looking ahead. I only have to read 134 pages of The Inferno. I’m tempted to get down on my knees and thank God, but the little intelligent part of me is screaming, “Who teaches a course and tells you to read a third of a book? What good is that?” For the rest of my life, I’ll have to tell people I read little bits of Dante’s Inferno and then stuck it on a shelf, so I don’t really know what’s in it.

Maybe this course is stupid. I hadn’t really considered that. I considered it back in the Devonian Era, when I was actually in college, but looking back, I thought that was just immaturity. Maybe I was right!

They put Toni Morrison’s Song of Solomon on the list. I’m not reading that. It’s just a sop to black people and women. Besides, I already read it. They could have put something really good in that spot, like 1984 or Animal Farm. They didn’t have to struggle to find a black female author and jam her in there in spite of the dubious quality of her work.

Song of Solomon wasn’t in print when I took Lit. Hum., so I give myself a pass. Maybe I’ll give myself Lit. Hum. credit for reading Catch-22, which is a work of real genius.

They stuck Virginia Woolf in there, too. I may blow that off. I haven’t read Lord of the Flies yet. Maybe it will fill the hole. I don’t know anything about Virginia Woolf, but the Burton/Taylor movie was quite depressing.

Apparently, Goethe and Nietzsche have been part of the curriculum in the past. I have no memory of reading either, so I may jam one of them in the Woolf opening. How to choose, though? Wait! I know how! Which one is shorter? Hmm…they’re both around 150 pages. But Goethe’s Faust is a story, not a dreadful philosophy book. I’m a Christian; I already have a philosophy. I don’t need a new one which is necessarily wrong, inferior, and pernicious.

Okay, Faust. That kills Virginia Woolf.

Here’s something interesting! My old Lit. Hum. prof, James R. Russell, moved to Harvard and tried to start a Lit. Hum. knockoff. He has a syllabus, and it’s online. This would be closure, a la mode. I’m trying to relive the course he taught, so what better way to replace Toni Morrison than to make a selection from his list?

Well, this is sad. I looked at the syllabus, and there is nothing from the 20th century in it. I’m apparently on the second semester, and he never did a second semester.

There goes that plan.

I learned some other interesting stuff while Googling Lit. Hum. today. Remember how I said I cheated on a couple of tests at Columbia in order to avoid being expelled? I hate cheating and cheaters, so it really bothered me. Well, it turns out Columbia’s Lit. Hum. system has had other cheating issues. The Columbia wiki site lists THREE, in 1987, 2007, and 2013. In all cases, instructors leaked test questions early. That’s how I cheated, and I believe it also happened in Columbia’s Contemporary Civilization course. I remember a bunch of guys sitting in a room, looking over the exam and frantically flipping through books for answers. I may have cheated in that class, too.

Someone I knew took a test early; his professor was a lady named Lavinia, which happens to be the name of the lady who married Aeneas. The instructor let him keep the test paper, and naturally, it got passed on.

Lots and lots of people cheated on the core courses at Columbia, and instructors helped. Sorry to burst the world’s bubble. It’s Quiz Show all over again, only nobody reads this blog or cares.

I don’t recall ever cheating on anything else in school. I was a mess, and I really did not want to be sent home for failing tests. The pressure was too much. Embarrassing.

I’m going to read Lord of the Flies. That will just have to do. It’s 20th-century. It’s post-war. It’s not a consolation prize for a mediocre writer who belongs to an underrepresented group. It’s not about a bunch of bitter, thwarted cirrhotic Algonquin Round Table rejects getting plastered and making emasculating remarks about each other.

Sold.

I looked over a bunch of other potential works. I’m surprised to see that I’ve read most of them. For a person who more or less gave up on literature at 25, I got a lot done.

Today is a great day. Virgil is behind me. Now to get back to them tasty potatoes and maybe some NASCAR.

More

I felt like I should say a few more things, about cheating at Columbia University, and about Ovid.

When I attended, there were three core courses (that I now recall). One was Contemporary Civilization, and it more or less covered the history of Western thought. The second was Literature Humanities; it covered the history of Western literature. The third was Art Humanities; it covered looking at slides of different types of marble columns. Ionian! Doric! That other kind!

I have a dim memory of attending one or two Art. Hum. classes before making my grand disappearance, but that may be something I dreamed. I seem to remember kouroses.

The big problem with these courses was that every student had to take them, and the exams were standardized. As a result, each course had numerous instructors and sections, and if an idealistic hippie instructor decided grading was a male-exalting, eurocentric concept that tended to inhibit homosexuality and socialist urges, then that instructor could hand the exam out early to take pressure off of his or her students. Those students could, and did, pass them out to students in other sections. This is why cheating was…not unheard of. In fact, the system made it hard to get a fair shake playing it straight.

That covers that.

As for Ovid, when I read his name, I always think “Egg.”

Also, I just started reading his works, and I am happy, happy, happy to report that they are short. Really short. Other than that, I wonder why they were written.

The first one is Penelope’s letter to Odysseus. He is about to come home, kick ass, and take names. Telemachus has already made his voyage to Pylos, and Penelope is really tired of feeding suitors.

I’m sure there is something brilliant about this “poem.” I do not see it. It doesn’t rhyme. It’s not clever. It doesn’t tell us anything new or even a little bit interesting about Odysseus. On top of that, it’s another example of the sick, sad obsession the ancients had with Troy.

If there is something brilliant hidden in it, someone will have to explain it to me. For less than $30,000 a semester.

I looked it up, and Homer was born at some time within a century or so of 1000 B.C. The accepted date for the sacking of Troy is 1270 B.C. Virgil was born in 70 B.C., and Ovid was born in 43 B.C. How long do these people need to get over Troy?

Creativity isn’t that hard. You just say to yourself, “I’m going to come up with something new,” and then you wait. Eventually, an idea will come. It’s not necessary to drag the carcass of Odysseus out over and over for a millennium.

The ancients had the sequel disease; the one that gave us 55 Fast and Furiouses when one was way more than enough. In a thousand years, they could not come up with anything better than Iliad III: the Final Reckoning. Maybe we shouldn’t look down on Hollywood [note: yes we should]. Entire generations of Greeks and Romans were no smarter.

Good news: Heroides short. Bad news: still stuck in 1270 B.C.

If Dante so much as hints at the existence of Troy, I will fly to Italy and desecrate his grave.

The Electric Meatloaf Acid Test

Monday, August 29th, 2016

Food Fit for a Merry Prankster

Last night I finished off the meatloaf and potatoes au gratin I made last week. I still can’t get over the experience.

When you think of great food, meatloaf does not come to mind immediately. When I was a kid, meatloaf was something I ate because it kept me alive. It was okay, but no sane person begged his mother to make it. That has been the way I’ve seen meatloaf all my life. Cheap, easy to make, and good enough to eat without struggling. It’s probably the most pedestrian food on earth that doesn’t come out of a can with an easy-open top.

The meatloaf I made last week, combined with the potatoes, made an astonishing meal. On top of that, it got better while it sat in the fridge. The seasonings mingled. The pepper in the potatoes worked its way through the potato…meat. By the time I finished it off, it had reached a sensual crescendo.

I could not stop eating this stuff. There are some things I just can’t have in the house, and this combination appears to be one of them. I can’t have fun size Snickers bars or miniature Reese’s cups around. I can’t have Fat Boy ice cream sandwiches around. Now I have to add meatloaf and potatoes to the list.

I ate the last of it, and then for at least two hours, I found myself reliving it and exclaiming aloud that it was fantastic.

Yes. I had meatloaf flashbacks. I have PMSD: Post-Meatloaf Stress Disorder.

I felt like I had ingested drugs. I was borderline euphoric. From food.

There is no restaurant on earth that does that for me, but it happens with my own food all the time. I can’t understand it. Last night I sat on the couch, marveling at the strange gift God had given me.

I would be completely happy being an okay cook. I have no family to feed. Even though I make good food, I’m not that picky about what I eat. As far as I can tell, I don’t really need to be able to produce exceptional food. But it happens time and again.

I made meatloaf and potatoes so well, I can’t make it any more. If I make it again, I’ll eat 5,000 calories a day until it’s gone. I don’t have a church to cook for any more. I quit cooking for my friends because I have no wife to help me shop, cook, or clean up. What am I supposed to do with the recipe?

Even worse, I know I can make it a lot better. I’m going to resist trying.

By the way, one of the keys to making the meatloaf work is baking it at 400 for at least half an hour at the end. This creates a thin black crust around it, on the sides and bottom. The flavor this crust provides puts the icing on the cake, so to speak.

It’s too bad I can’t come here and say, “Wow, God made me an incredible composer/musician/singer/mathematical genius/inventor/whatever.” There are things I wish I could do extremely well, and cooking is not one of them. Mozart got perfect pitch, flawless timing, endless musical creativity, and peerless dexterity. I got potatoes au gratin and strawberry cheesecake.

Which I don’t have the metabolism to tolerate.

There must be a reason for it. It’s not so I can open a restaurant. Forget that. I watch restaurant shows all the time, and I am now sure I would rather be struck by lightning every day than supervise the kind of people who cook on lines and wait tables. It’s not so I can sell things I cook. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life waiting for people to sue me because they pretended to choke on things I made. I definitely don’t want to run a commercial kitchen where the government will force me to sit through seminars about my legal obligation to encourage my gay employees to get “married.”

I feel like one of the lame superheroes. You know. Like Storm, the X-Woman. Her big gift: making it rain on bad guys. Whoopee. Impressive. “Oooh, I’m scared. Whatever you do, don’t jack up the humidity and make my hair frizz.”

The superhero who makes great cheesecake and ribs will never save the world or get the girl. You can bank on that. He’ll be back at Justice League headquarters, hosing out filthy smokers and inhaling unhealthy quantities of hickory smoke. “Wonder Woman and I are flying back to her island on her invisible jet for a three-week honeymoon with no cell phones. Can you fix us some to-go plates before we abandon you to clean up the kitchen alone?”

You can always pick Food Boy out in group photos, because he wears his cape in the front.

It’s a nice gift to have, but if you know why I received it, you are way ahead of me.

Speaking of food, I guess everyone knows the KFC recipe is now public domain. Colonel Sanders has a nephew, and the nephew found the recipe, written in the Colonel’s handwriting. KFC swears it’s a fake, but sadly for them, people who try it say it’s the real thing. The only missing item is Accent, i.e. monosodium glutamate.

I’m happy about the news, because KFC quit making the real thing a long time ago. They used to fry chicken in beef fat, but the joy-killers got to them and made them switch to something inferior. Probably canola oil, which is like sunflower seed oil that has had a small fish fried in it. Beef fat is loaded with cow flavor, and it’s satisfying. Now that we have the recipe, we can make real KFC at home, with proper fat.

Some people are saying the leaked recipe has too much paprika in it. Paprika is pretty mild. You can probably vary the amount a great deal without hurting anything. If the real KFC recipe has less paprika than the leaked one, it may simply mean that KFC decided to save money by cutting down on a low-impact ingredient.

Here is the recipe:

KFC CHICKEN INGREDIENTS

2/3 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. thyme
1/2 tsp. basil
1/3 tsp. oregano
1 tsp. celery salt
1 tsp. black pepper
1 tsp. mustard
4 tsp. paprika
2 tsp. garlic powder
1 tsp. ginger
3 tsp. white pepper
2 cups flour
MSG
BEEF FAT!!!!

I haven’t tried it. I don’t fry chicken all that well, and I’ve been busy with other stuff. If you try it, I hope you’ll report back. They say you have to fry right at 350 degrees, and you should be aware that KFC uses pressure fryers, so you probably won’t want to go all-out and use the same type of equipment. I can’t figure pressure fryers out anyway. How do you know the chicken is done if you can’t see it?

If I made that stuff, I think I’d replace some of the paprika with chipotle powder. Maybe I’d have to cut back on the white pepper, though.

I don’t feel bad about passing the recipe around, because it was never patented to begin with. It’s a trade secret, not the subject of a patent. Infringing a patent is a statutory tort and a crummy thing to do. Using a trade secret you received legally is fair play!

Now that I think about it, the KFC spice profile would be great on fish. You could use it in a fish and chips recipe. That would rock.

I made pot roast today. First time ever. It’s merely very good, so I think I’m safe.

I’m going to go have some now. If I start to freak, talk me down.

More

Predictably, the pot roast was really good. It would go great with hoe cakes or cornbread.

Might as well post the recipe.

INGREDIENTS

3 lb. chuck roast
3 large (large) red potatoes
2 large yellow onions
1 pound grape tomatoes
1 packet beef flavor onion soup mix
1 lb. carrots (peeled baby carrots are fine)
10 oz. Carlo Rossi Paisano or similar red wine
1 qt. water
olive oil
salt
pepper
1 teaspoon starch

Salt and pepper the meat. Use lots of salt. Fry it in a little oil to brown the outsides. You may have to use high heat with a piece of meat this big.

Pour the wine into a big casserole dish or something similar; it will have to hold the meat and all the vegetables. Add the starch and a teaspoon of salt to the wine. Make sure the starch is stirred in. Put the meat in the wine and sprinkle the soup mix on it.

You could probably double the starch and get a better result than I did.

Bake the meat at 300 degrees for three hours. Slice the onions. Cut the potatoes in big chunks. Add the vegetables to the meat along with the water. Salt the vegetables heavily and then season them with pepper. Cover and bake for another 90 minutes.

You may want to turn the broiler on at the end, uncover the food, and brown it on top.

Check the sauce to make sure it has enough salt in it. If not, add salt and swirl it around to dissolve it. Test again and get it right.

You might want to use 1 1/2 packets of soup mix. It’s very good with one packet, but it might be nice to make it more intense.

Also a possibility: 1 bay leaf in the sauce.

The Real Expendables

Sunday, August 28th, 2016

We are Sifted Every Day

Today I was thinking about the Patton Oswalt clip I probably should not have linked to (“I’m wearing boots of escaping!”), and I thought about his work in movies and on TV. I decided to check Youtube to see what else he had done.

I found a video in which he compares God to an imaginary sphincter that hovers over his head and threatens to devour him if he isn’t good.

The injustice of that comparison is hard to stomach. He is talking about someone who allowed himself to be tortured to death by cretins in order to save bad people from humiliation, disease, and damnation. But Oswalt’s vile, truth-hating mindset isn’t rare. America is filling up with people who literally hate Christianity, and many of them hate God himself.

The audience in the video was disturbing. They squealed with delight as Oswalt piled cruel remarks on God and Christians. They were thrilled to see someone “telling it like it is.” I could sense the release of pent-up anger; someone was telling them it was all right to hate us, and they were enjoying the opportunity to let it out en masse, in a nurturing, approving environment.

A safe space. Safe for some.

As a Christian in America, I grew up feeling that my country was my safe space. I didn’t think I was surrounded by potential persecutors. I knew such people existed, but I certainly didn’t feel outnumbered. I thought of them as harmless nuts who could not get traction. How that has changed. Today you can literally be fired from a job for refusing to say a man is really a woman.

I decided to Google “I hate Christianity” to see what came up. I found people blaming the world’s hatred of Christians on Christians. We’re intolerant. We’re self-righteous. We’re mean. Yes, and Hitler burned Jews because they were pushy and dishonest and ran the German banking system. It wasn’t because Germans and Austrians were vicious racists who wanted scapegoats; that notion was unthinkable, so Germans and Austrians replaced it with their own version of blood guilt.

If you really want to murder someone, you can always come up with a rationale, and no matter how insane it is, you can make yourself believe it.

It doesn’t matter at all what we do, just like it doesn’t matter how much land Jews give to Muslims. We are not hated because of what we do. We are hated because we exist. For that reason, we should stop trying to appease the world. It offends God, and it gives the world power over us.

People who hate God belong to Satan, and they dance to his tune. Satan doesn’t want a truce. He doesn’t want Christians and Jews to be nice, pay for abortions, and leave gays alone. He wants us removed from the planet, along with our remains. When he went after the Jews sixty years ago, he wasn’t content with sending them away and taking what they had “stolen” from Gentiles; he insisted on turning their bones into untraceable dust. Satan wants a world in which no one remembers we were here. That’s why he convinced many Jews to say, “May his name be blotted out forever,” when they referred to Jesus. He didn’t just want Jesus deleted; he wanted the hard drive incinerated so Jesus couldn’t be recovered.

Until fairly recently, I didn’t realize how bad hatred for Christians was. I definitely didn’t realize how much scientists hate us. That makes no sense at all; apart from a few people who want to teach kids creationism, which is a very minor issue, we don’t interfere with science any more. Centuries have passed since a pope threatened to burn Galileo. Atheists have interfered with science relatively recently; the Soviets imprisoned people for accepting scientific conclusions that seemed to conflict with socialist notions. Why didn’t scientists rise up and attack them? Answer: because Satan likes socialism. It would have been pointless for him to send one group of his flying monkeys to attack another.

Earlier this year, I thought it would be fun to replace some of my threadbare T-shirts with shirts related to science and technology, so I looked to see what was available. I was startled to see that sites selling pro-science shirts were full of selections attacking Christianity. The most disturbing shirt I saw featured a cartoon Satan with the caption, “Keep studying science, kiddies.” What on earth was that all about? Are scientists so overwhelmingly against God that a shirt like that has a significant market?

Recently a strange group of people at CERN (the European Organization for Nuclear Research) staged a performance in which robed figures appeared to sacrifice a woman to Shiva, a sick demon deity which is part of Hinduism. CERN bigwigs claim it was a joke. No one really knows what happened. No one denies it took place. Imagine how the world would have reacted had we seen movies of Robert Oppenheimer pretending to sacrifice women to false gods at Los Alamos. He would have been placed in a mental institution.

This is not the America I grew up in. It is not the world I grew up in. God is withdrawing, day by day, and Christians can’t accept the fact that they lost the war. We still issue misguided prayers for the salvation of America. We say God is warning us so we can turn back to him. We need to turn back to him, for whatever help is still available, but we’re not being warned. It’s too late to warn us. We got beaten.

Jesus said the world would hate us. We don’t believe it. We think turning away from the world is judgmental and wrong. We think we can never give up on people, even though God does it every day. The world really does hate us. When we were doing well in the US, our enemies tended to keep quiet, so we didn’t know how numerous they were. Now they’re on top, so the closet doors are springing open. The tide was already up to our waists before we knew it was coming in.

All I want is to live in a relatively peaceful place until I am done with this body, which, I hope, will not take very long. I want to mind my own business as much as I can and do whatever God calls me to do, although I don’t know if those goals are compatible. Regardless of how far I retreat, eventually, the tide will reach me, but it can’t hurt to get away from Miami, which is a node of evil, aggression, pride, demon worship, and hate. It’s not Detroit, but it’s pretty bad.

The other day I was thinking about an unstable person I used to be entangled with, and I asked God if this person was going to hell. The answer seemed very clear to me: yes, and there was nothing I could do to change it. It was depressing and sobering. Justice is real; it may be delayed, but it will come. It is indescribably harsh. Whatever this person may have done to me, I do not wish hell on them. But they have chosen their path.

There is no point in making contact or praying for this person. It’s done, and besides, I already tried those things over a prolonged period. The world is full of such people. God knew they would exist, so he created a place in the earth where they could be stored after death, in preparation for the day when they would be removed to the lake of fire. They hate God now; they blame him for everything. They will still hate him and blame him while they burn. There is nothing that can be done. They have to be locked away so they won’t ruin heaven for the rest of us, the way they ruined the earth.

Walk down a city street, and all around you, you will see people who might as well not exist. They are temporary. It seems like a waste of time to acknowledge them. Anything you say to them will be taken to hell. Where you’re going, it will seem as though they had never been created. They will not be remembered. We will not visit them. The world is like an ovary, and people who aren’t saved are like unfertilized eggs that wash out and disappear. Each of us thinks he’s a big deal, saved or not; we can’t conceive of a universe in which we are not important. But to God, we are more like gametes than fully formed beings. We are disposed of, in large numbers, daily.

People love to say we’re all God’s children, but that’s a lie. The Bible doesn’t say that. We are all God’s creations, but not all of us are his children.

It will be interesting to watch the mess unfold over the coming years. I’m glad I won’t be caught up in it.