Fear and Loathing in the Cold and Flu Aisle at CVS
Tuesday, January 12th, 2010Who put Mannitol in my Mucinex?
I am still sick. Not very sick, but a little. I got sick on Christmas Day. That was almost 20 days ago. How long can a virus last? At this rate, people who broke their arms hanging Christmas lights will get well before I do.
I’m only taking two medications now. Nyquil and Hall’s cough drops. At first, I took the drops because they seemed to soothe my dry throat. Now I’m not sure why I’m taking them. But I don’t know if I can stop. The packages says to use one drop every two hours. I read that after establishing a regimen of one drop every ten minutes. Now I’m wondering…what are the long-term health effects of overdosing on menthol and eucalyptus oil? You could hang me in a taxi to freshen the air. It’s like I’ve been using Lestoil for aftershave.
Marv likes Hall’s, too. I was lying in bed with him the other day, listening to a CD, when I noticed that he was obsessed with my mouth. Something in that region was driving him crazy. He was standing on my chest with his eyes wide, squeaking frantically and trying to put his beak in my mouth. I figured it had to be the cough drop I was working on, so I gave him one of his very own. He chomped it up while shaking his head to dissipate the minty fumes. It apparently caused him some discomfort, but that didn’t slow him down at all. It was like me, eating curry.
Maynard just eats the wrappers.
I guess I’m going to have to go cold turkey when the drops run out. At least I still have Nyquil. Although it doesn’t seem to do anything any more, except for helping with congestion. I miss that Nyquil high. Ten minutes after a dose, I was as happy as Dennis Hopper in Blue Velvet. They ought to make Nyquil in a convenient inhaler mask. I could chase it with PABST…BLUE…RIBBON.
Obscure references. They are what I live for.
I still think Kyle Maclachlan is K.D. Lang. No one has proven otherwise.
I never watched Twin Peaks, but if you feel like making references in the comments, knock yourself out. I thought it was very dull. I remember something about pie, and a scene with a lady in a clear plastic laundry bag. I think.
I think I can actually DO things now. That would be a good idea. Doing things. Lying in a recliner refreshing The Drudge Report and waiting for death is not much of a lifestyle.
The Internet has gotten really boring. I used to read lots of blogs, and I wrote several blogs, and I had a big time. Now it’s pretty much me, Weather Underground, Sondra K., Day by Day, and Drudge. Moxie quit blogging. Agent Bedhead keeps writing about celebrities I have never heard of because I’m old. Dennis doesn’t have much going on now that Pajamas Media is on life support. The Hampsterdance is gone. Is it any wonder I have felt compelled to venture into the real world more and more, and that I spend more time dealing with actual human beings? Some are born with a life, some achieve a life, and some have a life thrust upon them. That’s how I see it.
Pie…that would be good. Yes. Pie.
I will make a list of actual things to do. Then I may conceivably do some of them. This is my plan. I like it.
I can always leave Drudge open while I work.